The Girl In The Diner
by KCakaAlice
Summary: EPOV, AH. Started with inspiration from a song. Edward wants Bella like nothing he's ever known and she seems like she feels it too. What's holding her back? What will she do to Edward by rejecting his advances? R&R PLEASE!
1. My first night

Wow. This is the only word to accurately describe my state of mind. Every ounce of breath I had held was effectively leaving my body in a _whoosh_ sound, almost like I had been punched in the stomach. _Who is that girl_ my body was shouting at me. I needed to know, immediately.

I had come into the tiny diner of this seemingly insignificant town. It was old and 50's style with teal sparkly plastic covered seats, something straight out of a movie. I had just moved here, to Forks, Washington. I'm a writer and this seemed like it could be a safe haven for me. I had come here to find peace in a sleepy town, escape the distractions of big city life. This was my first night in Forks and I was entirely too lazy to unpack anything that wasn't absolutely essential. My kitchen was not essential. Since I lived outside of town, I drove down to check things out. I found the lone diner just off the main highway and decided that it would be the perfect solution to my previous laziness. I walked in and grabbed the only plastic covered booth left in the place.

Observing my surroundings, I noticed how friendly everyone seemed to be with one another. Small town life was new to me so I was desperately searching for something that I could relate to.

That's when I saw the chestnut waterfall. Her hair called out to me, making me want to run my fingers through it. Was it as soft as it looked? I'm not even sure that would be possible. She turned around, leaving behind the table full of men she had been talking to. I'm back to where I started now: breathless.

This girl, woman really, moved with a gentleness I hadn't seen before and her smile was ridiculously inviting. I watched intently as she ran from table to table. She hid her stress well, only visible in those smooth, chocolate brown eyes. As she carried a coffee pot back to a table, she stumbled and her cheeks flushed. It was beautiful and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

The next thing I knew, the apparently clumsy beauty was coming towards my table. Panic stricken, I diverted my eyes from hers, trying to regain my ability to think coherently. When I looked back at her a half second later, her brilliant smile was threatening to overtake me again. I forced myself to listen to her rushed words.

"I'm so sorry about the wait, sir! I'm all alone tonight and I feel like a mad woman! Anyway, I'm Bella. Do you know what you would like to drink?" Finally, she took in a deep breath, never letting her smile falter.

_Bella_. What a perfect name for her. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth as I listened to her ramblings. She was adorable, and endearing.

"I'll just take some water. No lemon please," I told her, smiling pleasantly.

Her eyes widened a bit when I spoke and she seemed to freeze. Her head shook slightly as she cleared it and her throat.

"Water, no problem. Do you need a few minutes to decide what you want?" she asked.

I almost said "I know exactly what I want," but decided that might be too forward.

"Just a few minutes would be great," I informed her instead.

She nodded slightly and stood there for a second, a small smile and her eyes were dancing. I was enthralled with her. It took what seemed like hours, really only a few seconds, and she was running off again. Did she like what she saw in me too? I could only hope. I had to know what I wanted when she came back. I couldn't be a bumbling idiot. A hamburger was as good as anything. I don't think I'll eat much now anyways; I'll be too busy trying to get this girl, Bella, to say yes to a date.

Before I knew it she was back with my water, beaming at me.

"Have you decided yet?" she asked. She looked almost anxious as she waited for my order.

"Um…yeah. I'll just take a burger and fries," I mumbled. I sounded like an idiot.

"Sure, no problem." She lingered at my table again for a few seconds before disappearing again.

We had some kind of weird chemistry going. I didn't know what it was but I liked it. I watched her bounce from table to table, learning little things about her. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear, how she stumbled over her own feet every so often, and the smile she had that didn't touch her eyes. I wondered why that was. I wondered if I could make her eyes smile.

I shook my head and dragged myself out of my thoughts as she put my plate down.

"Here you go," she said. She was avoiding my eyes with her own. Maybe she felt the crazy spark too. Bella didn't seem this nervous or anxious with any other table in here.

My hand gently grazed hers as her hand left my plate. All I could manage was a whisper, "Thanks."

She whispered back, sounding a bit strangled, "You're welcome." She cleared her throat and her question came out in an almost normal sounding voice.

"Did you need anything else?"

I just shook my head, my eyes still locked on her. Bella refused to look at me. I managed a breathy "No thanks," and she stumbled off.

I stared at my food, dumbfounded. No other woman had ever had this kind of effect on me. She stole glances at me as she moved around the tiny diner. The sky darkened outside and there were less and less people in here with me. Less people meant fewer distractions, which was fine with me. I think I could have watched her for days.

My food was ice cold by now, I had been here for hours it seemed. Bella would come by and refill my water, but we didn't speak. Still just stolen glances were exchanged. Nine o'clock rolled around and she walked up to my booth timidly.

"Um, sir, we are closing now. Sorry."

"Oh, of course," I replied, coming out of my daze slightly.

"Would you like a to go box?" she asked, eyeing my plate of barely nibbled food.

"No, no that's okay. Sorry I stayed so late. Have a good night Bella."

"You too," she squeaked out.

I stood up to leave and she just watched me. I had a quick thought that stopped me at the door.

"Oh Bella," I called out, glancing over my shoulder at her.

She turned her widened eyes to me, looking at me for the first time since she had taken my order.

"My name is Edward."

Leaving her with only my name, I walked back to my car and drove home in a trance.

_**I even don't even know her name  
But I can't stop feeling  
She says that she feels the same  
And I can't stop feeling  
And if you let me try to tonight  
You just might see that I'm  
Falling**_


	2. Deeper

A/N: So, I'm hoping to get a little bit of a response from this one! I promise the lemons will come, I just want to build to it! Please review! By the way, the bolded words at the beginning, or end of the chapters are song lyrics!

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­­For the next three days we kept up our cat and mouse game. I would go to the diner every night, order the same hamburger and fries that wouldn't get eaten, and leave when they were closing. There were stolen glances and whispered, short conversations. The only difference from the first night is that she was now calling me Edward instead of sir. My name sounded like music when it came from her mouth and I looked forward to our awkward nights together.

To pass the time every day, until I would allow myself to show up at the diner, I methodically unpacked boxes. The curb outside was covered in cardboard boxes and I had newspaper coming out of my ears. My house was coming together but I barely noticed. My thoughts were consumed with Bella. The wave in her hair, her smile, her quiet whispers, and her melodic laughter ran through my head in a non-stop parade of all things Bella.

On day five of my repeating life, I finally decided the madness had to end. I needed to really talk to her tonight, find out more about her. I needed to spend time with her and be the one to make her smile, color her cheeks, and hold her in my arms. So, I vowed to myself to make my wants into a reality, beginning with tonight. I drove into town and parked in front of the diner, with a sense of determination.

I walked through the glass door of the diner with confidence. It was Friday and I intended to have a date with Bella for this weekend, hopefully tomorrow. Now I just had to figure out how to do that. Lord help me!

I sat down in what I now thought of as "my booth" with a smile on my face. Sitting patiently, I waited for Bella to come and greet like she always did. Angela, the other waitress that often worked with Bella, was the only one I saw out on the floor. I was beginning to feel anxious. Where was she? Just then, the angel I had been waiting on, the one who had haunted my dreams since I moved to this tiny town, emerged from the kitchen, carrying three plates of food. She looked my way expectantly and smiled brightly when our eyes met. Was she enjoying our time together as well? I hoped she was.

I barely knew anything about this girl. Only her beauty and mannerisms were familiar to me. Those things were enough to make my heart skip a beat though. It was like her smile was meant for me. Oh, what it would be like to kiss her, those soft lips pressed against my own in a beautiful display of affection. But, for now, I could only dream of that feeling. I wanted to know everything about her and felt like I wouldn't be able to get enough of her, no matter how much time I spent with her. Where was all of this coming from? Wasn't it a little soon to feel this way?

Bella delivered the food she was holding and made her way over to my table. Her smile illuminated her face, looking a little happier to see me than the rest of men in here. That's encouraging. Bella's smile still didn't quite touch her eyes though, and I wanted so badly to fix it. Even though she tried to cover it, a small amount of sadness showed in them and I wanted to know why. I wanted to kiss it all away and fix it. Snap out of your daze Edward. I mentally chastised myself for being so caught up in her.

"Hello Bella," I greeted her with a wide smile. "How are you this evening?"

"Hi Edward," she returned my smile with her own shy curve of the lips. "I'm good, how are you?" Her eyes darted around as she spoke, hardly connecting with mine. She's so cute when she's nervous.

"I'm great!" I replied, maybe a little too enthusiastically. She looked a little scared. Feeling a little bold, I winked at her.

"Um…," she stuttered for a second. "Do you want the usual?"

I laughed at her question. "That's fine. I wanted to ask you something though."

She eyed me curiously. "Okaaay."

"Do you work here every night, or do you have days off?" I questioned. "It seems like you are always here," I laughed.

Laughing with me, Bella made me smile even bigger. "Oh. Well, I'm off on Saturday and Sunday. I only work on week days."

"Good," I smiled at her uncertain face. That was as far as I could get with. I was ridiculously nervous suddenly. All I did was smile at her like fool, while she looked confused. Her eyes were questioning.

"Ok well I'm going to go put your order in. I'll be back with your water." Bella looked at me like I was crazy. Great, I thought to myself. I'm blowing it.

I talked to her off and on the rest of the night. It wasn't a real conversation but I learned her last name finally, Swan, and I learned that the beat up 1950's truck in the parking lot was hers. That seemed to fit her though, like she didn't conform or go with the masses. She was unique. Bella seemed to have forgotten about my strange behavior from earlier and I even got her to laugh a few times. Although we were talking more tonight, it wasn't enough for me. I still didn't eat because my nerves continued to have a hold on me. I decided to wait until closing time to make my move. As the time approached 9 p.m. the patrons began leaving in groups. _You can do this_ I told myself. She seemed into me so I at least had to try. When the last one was gone Bella approached my table, the same way she always did; timidly.

"Edward, times up," she joked in a small voice.

I smiled at her with all of the enthusiasm I felt. I was suddenly excited at the prospect of taking Bella out. The uneasiness was gone, almost like it had never been there in the first place. "Bella, I wanted to ask you something before I leave, if that's okay with you," I hedged.

She looked at me with the confused stare again, "Okay…"

"Since you said you weren't working tomorrow night, I wondered if maybe you might want to spend the evening with me." Her eyes widened as I went on. "Do you think you might like to have dinner with me?"

She stood there, in what I assumed was stunned silence, for a few moments. "Um sure, that sounds nice," she replied, but her eyes were on the floor. Why was she always doing that, avoiding my eyes? I wanted to fall into the chocolate depths of hers and demand that she look at me.

"Okay, great!" I enthused. "I would like to come pick you up if you are alright with that. Can I have your address?"

"Of course," she laughed nervously. Her hands were shaking as she removed her order tablet from the front of her apron and tore off a page. She wrote quickly with a small smile on her face.

"Is seven okay for me to be at your house? I asked while she continued to scrawl across the paper. Even her handwriting was cute. She merely nodded her head in response. Bella slid the paper across the table to me and I placed my hand over hers before taking the paper from her. I felt electricity jolt through me as our fingers brushed against one another. My breath caught in my throat and our eyes locked for a second. Then, Bella was staring at me from under her long brown lashes as a removed myself from the booth.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow at seven then. Sleep well tonight Bella," I said softly. With one last smile at her, I left the diner. I drove home quickly that night with a huge grin on my face. I couldn't wait for tomorrow night and I had to make sure it was absolutely perfect. Realizing I sounded like a girl, I discovered it was because I had never felt like this before. Bella was making me giddy, and I think I liked it.

_**She turns chaos into art  
And I can't stop feeling  
A touch and I fall apart  
And I can't stop feeling  
I'm sounding like an old cliché  
And I can't stop feeling  
I love her in a thousand ways  
And I can't stop feeling**_


	3. First Date

_**In the car, I just can't wait**_

_**To pick you up on our very first date**_

_**Is it cool if I hold your hand?**_

_**Your make me nervous so I really can't eat**_

What did I get myself into? Really. This girl was amazing, and she said yes! I was ecstatic! I just had no idea where to go from there. I wanted everything to be great, for it to be special. I was painfully unoriginal with all previous dating, honing in on the normal dinner and a movie. Bella was better than that though, and she deserved to have something out of the ordinary.

I hardly slept Friday night because I was too busy wracking my brain for some creative spark. Around 3 a.m. inspiration hit me. Bella waits on others all week long, running herself all over the place. She has to be tired. So, I can let her relax, and sort of wait on her for a change. I'm a decent cook. Making dinner would be easy enough. A romantic set up was another story though. At least I had the beginnings of a plan and with that, sleep finally overcame me.

The next day I woke to the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. I was so glad I hadn't lost my ability to sleep as I had gotten older. My eyes rolled to the clock on my nightstand as they adjusted. 11:00….oh God! I jumped out of bed and felt a little anxious. I didn't have much time to get everything, including myself, ready in time for tonight. I took a quick shower and threw on jeans and a faded tee. Grabbing my keys, I ran out the door and headed down to the local grocery store.

I wanted something I knew I wouldn't screw up cooking, so there would be no fancy new recipes for me tonight. My specialty is chicken parmigana, so I loaded my basket with the necessities and a simple bottle of red wine. After checking out, I thought about how to set the atmosphere. It was nice outside, which seemed to be rare in this town, so we could sit outside on my new patio furniture. What about lighting? It would probably be dark early and I didn't want to sit in the harsh light of the lamp out on the patio. I remembered a box of white Christmas lights I had put in the attic and had my answer. My backyard was loaded with trees so I could string up the lights and it would be perfect.

I looked down at the clock when I brought the groceries in and smiled to myself when I realized I had nearly 7 hours until I had to pick her up. I could do this. I set to work on the lights right away, wanting the hard labor out of the way. I climbed my stairs and pulled down the door to the attic. I nearly took myself out pulling the box down, but finally I was outside in the trees. Decorating the trees closest to the patio was my priority since that was where we would be. When I was done, I turned them on and saw them barely glowing in the sunlight. From what I could tell it was going to be just what I wanted.

I came back in the house and washed my hands. The chicken was sitting on the counter thawing and I began taking out plates, glasses and silverware. I set up music to play out on the patio and picked soft classical, keeping my fingers crossed that she would like it.

At 5 I began making my home made marinara sauce and grading fresh cheese. I baked off my breaded chicken and the French bread and let everything sit in a low heated oven. Noticing that my previous physical activity had caused me to sweat, I decided another shower was in order. By 6:45 I was ready to go and I headed for Bella's house.

I arrived at her house right at 7 and I felt the nervousness from the night before start to seep back into me. I took in the site of Bella's decrepit truck as I knocked on her door. Why did she drive that old thing? My thoughts were interrupted as Bella swung open her front door. She looked amazing. Her long brown hair was all the way down tonight and slightly curled. She had an adorably shy smile on her face, and was wearing a blue shirt that her radiate.

"Hello Bella," I greeted with a slow, and I'm sure appreciative, smile.

"Hi," she said, blushing. I guess my thoughts were evident on my features.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, let me just grab my keys." She reappeared a second later, closing the door behind her and locking it.

"How has your day off been?"

She smiled. "Very relaxing, thank you."

I opened the door for her and she looked at me with slightly widened eyes. "Thanks," she muttered. Apparently she wasn't used to a gentleman. What a shame.

I walked around the car and slid into my own seat. "So," I began, "I thought we would just have dinner at my house if that is alright with you. I made dinner and thought it might be more relaxing than a restaurant. Plus, it's quieter there, and I want to get to know you better." I grinned at her.

"Sounds great," she said, but she still had a nervous look in her eyes.

"I'm not a serial killer, I promise," I joked. Her laugh even sounded nervous.

"I have pepper spray if you try anything funny. My dad taught me well."

I laughed with her for a moment as I turned on the car and pulled away from the curb.

"Do you like music?" I wondered aloud.

"Of course," she said, her eyes lighting up. "I love music actually. It helps me through the day, no matter what is going on.

"Good, because I feel the exact same way," I confessed. Now for the real test. I couldn't handle narrow minded people when it came to music. "What kind do you like?"

"A little bit of everything really. My IPod is stocked with a large variety."

I liked this girl more and more. "Mine's the same way," I smiled. "Do you like Kings of Leon?"

"They are amazing!" she beamed.

"Something in common already!" my expression mimicked hers as I pressed play on my own IPod. "Revelry" began drifting through my speakers.

"This is one of the best songs on this album. I listen to it all of the time." I watched her mouth the words out of the corner of my eye. "Do you mind if I turn it up?"

"I love it too," I agreed. "And that's fine with me." The music seemed to calm her as we both enjoyed it. I was glad for that. I wanted her to have a good time. I wanted to see her more than just this once, and nothing had even really happened yet. Bella was just so infectious. We stayed quiet for the rest of our short drive.

As we pulled up to my house, Bella was pressed up against her window. I chuckled lightly to myself. I never really gave off the impression that I had a lot of money, but being a best-selling author paid well. I used a pseudo name so I stayed out of any kind of spotlight; there was no way she could have known.

"Do you like it?" I asked, breaking her trance.

"It's gorgeous," she breathed. I jumped out and went to open her door. I extended my hand to help her out of her seat and she blushed again. She was so beautiful.

"I'm glad you like it. How do you feel about chicken parmigana?"

She smiled at me with big eyes. "It's my absolute favorite. How did you know?"

"Just a lucky guess," I grinned. Thank you God! How did I get that lucky?

We walked up the front steps of my house and opened the door for her. "Welcome. I'm not quite done in here but I've made a lot of progress the last couple of days."

"Edward, this is amazing. My place looks like a shack next to this. You have great taste."

"Nonsense. You're house was perfect. I don't need all of this space but I like the change of scenery every once in a while. The same rooms over and over can get stale. Anyway, it's so nice outside I thought maybe we could eat on the patio. Dinner is waiting for us. Let me show you the patio and then I'll get the food."

"Oh no I'll help you!" she protested.

"Bella," I said. "You waited on me all week. It's your turn to be waited on. Follow me." I took her hand lightly, hoping that wasn't too presumptuous, and walked her out the back door.

I heard her breathe in deeply and turned to look at her. She looked completely content. Pulling out her chair, I motioned for her to sit. "I'll be right back," I whispered next to her as she sat down.

I ran to the kitchen, plated my food in rapid time and walked outside again. I set it down in front her and said "I'll be right back." I flipped on the music and grabbed the wine and two glasses.

"This smells amazing Edward. It looks like you are a regular chef."

"Thank you. You get tired of eating the same crap when you live by yourself. I taught myself how to cook so I like it. I hope you will too," I smiled at her. "Would you like some wine?"

"I haven't had a glass of wine in forever. That sounds like just what I need. Thank you."

I poured two glasses and sat down to eat with her. I raised my glass and toasted "To a wonderful night." I knew it was cheesy but I meant it. She smiled and clinked her glass with mine before taking a sip. Her eyes closed in satisfaction.

"Delicious. Now let's see about your culinary abilities." Her smile was mischievous and horribly attractive.

We both dug into our food but I kept my eyes on her, watching how she moved. "So Ms. Bella Swan, tell me about you. I only know that you drive a ridiculously rundown truck and work at a diner Monday through Friday. I know there has to be more to you."

She swallowed her mouthful and shook her head. "I'm really quite boring. I promise. You on the other hand, seem very mysterious. I don't even know what you do for a living. It has got to be something good though, look at this place!" She laughed. "I'm sorry that was rude. Oh and leave my truck alone."

I had to laugh at that. "Not at all Bella. I'm a writer. I use a fake name though so I can have my peace and quiet. All of my books say Edward Masen instead of Edward Cullen. Masen is my mother's maiden name. And that poor truck is on its last leg. How could I not say something?"

Bella ignored that last bit and focused on the rest. "A writer? Really, I never would have guessed that. You are extremely observant though, always watching things. I love to read. I'll have to give your stuff a try. What genre is it?"

"Oh I'm sure someone like yourself wouldn't enjoy them. I'm embarrassed to say it but I write mindless romance novels. It pays the bills and is so easy to do."

Her mouth formed a small "O" as she looked at me. "That is a little shocking. No, I don't normally read that sort of thing but hey, maybe I should give it a try. If it comes from you it can't be that bad." She blushed furiously as she covered her mouth with her hand. "That wasn't supposed to come out."

"You are too cute," I told her with a smile. "But look at you! You got me talking about myself and I wanted to know about you. Tell me what you do with your time, about your family, anything."

"Well, I live with my father, Charlie, right now. I know, so sad for a twenty-three year old woman but I do what I have to. My mom, Rene, died when I was little so I don't really remember her. I am taking my last semester of online courses right now and will soon have a bachelors' degree in Journalism. I love to write myself. I really want to work for a newspaper, track down stories. It's much more exciting than working at the diner. All of my free time goes to school work so that's really all there is to me. You know I like to read. I can't really think of anything else. "

"That is not boring at all by the way. I have a lot of respect for you, wanting to go into journalism and all. It's a hard gig. Are you paying your way through school?"

"Yeah that's why I'm at the diner all of the time. It's not much but it's all I need."

"Wow," I marveled. "That is really amazing. It takes a strong person to keep up with the demands of school and a job. Bravo," I applauded with a smile.

"Oh please," she blushed again. "You are an accomplished author and can't be much older than me. You seem pretty damn impressive."

I chuckeled. "I'm 25, and decently successful. But it's not everything. I adore my family. My mother, Esme, is a wonderful and giving person. I'm so lucky to have her as a mom. My father, Carlisle, is a respectable doctor and the hospital he works at wouldn't know what to do without him. They both live in upstate New York. My sister Alice and her husband Jasper live in L.A. Alice is a fashion Nazi and Jasper travels to San Diego for work. He's a Marine. But we all lead busy lives and I hardly ever see them." I paused for a moment. "And, that's my story!" I laughed at my own rambling.

"So how did you end up in this tiny excuse for a town? I mean, your whole lives in seemingly more glamorous places. Why would you want to come here?" she mused.

"I wanted somewhere remote and quiet to write from. I have never done the small town thing so I thought it would be a nice change of pace. It seems to be paying off too. I found a beautiful and smart girl to wine and dine and it's only been a week." I laughed at myself and so did she.

We returned to eating, making small talk through the meal. The more I learned the more drawn in I was. Everything about her was perfect.

"I have ice cream if you would like desert," I told her.

"Oh, no thank you! I'm stuffed! You are an amazing cook!"

"Well thank you. I'll just clear off the table."

I came back to the patio from the kitchen and the soft music was still playing. "Would you like to dance?" I asked her, extending my hand.

She choked on her wine for a second and then laughed at me. "Maybe you aren't as observant as I thought. I am really clumsy so dancing is not something I do."

"Trust me," I told her with a smile. "I know what I'm doing.

She looked up at me reluctantly. Sighing, she rose from her chair. "Fine, but I gave you fair warning. You cannot get mad at me if I screw this up," she pointed her finger at me sternly.

"Scout's honor," I swore, holding up three fingers. She giggled as I took her hand in mine and wrapped my other arm around her, my hand resting on the small of her back. We swayed back and forth as the music swirled around us. We looked at each other and I felt electricity between us. It was all so perfect and I couldn't believe it. I wanted more, even though I was already this close to her. My arm tightened around her instinctively and my other hand came to the side of her face. Bella's hand gripped my shoulder a little as my head tilted toward hers, her eyes on my lips.

"Edward…" she whispered. My lips were inches from hers.

"Yes Bella?" was my whispered reply.

She just looked at me and I took that as permission. My thumb brushed across her cheek and our lips met gently. I could have collapsed right there. Bella's lips were like heaven and I didn't want to leave them. I pulled her to me tighter and my hand slipped to the back of her head as her lips moved with mine. I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers, both of us breathing a little heavier than normal. My heart was racing, and just from one kiss.

"Wow," she said softly.

"Uh huh," I replied dumbly and we both laughed quietly. I didn't want to let go of her.

"I think maybe I should go home now," she said.

I felt my spirits drop. Hadn't she just said wow? I know she felt it. Maybe she didn't like it. Maybe the wow wasn't meant in a good way. Maybe…….My rambling thoughts were interrupted by her.

"No! I don't mean that bad! Please, don't look at me like that. This has all been so amazing and absolutely perfect Edward. I just want it to stay this innocent. I might not be able to help myself if you keep kissing me like that." Her eyes looked down and her cheeks were colored instantly. "There goes my mouth again," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Bella," I put my finger under her chin to lift her eyes to mine. "I completely understand. I don't want to compromise anything. Slow is good." I kissed her softly one more time, my lips tingling. My hand drifted over her shoulder and down her arm as I grasped her hand. "Let's get you home."

The ride home was mostly quiet, Kings of Leon serving for background music. I held her hand all the way and we traded glances and smiles with one another. I walked her to her door when we arrived.

"Thank you for saying yes, Bella."

"Thank you for asking, Edward." With a small smile she went on tiptoes and kissed my cheek, leaving my flesh burning. "Call me soon. Goodnight."

And with that she was gone. I wanted to jump for joy and run to my car but somehow I kept myself contained. The only car in the driveway was hers and I wondered vaguely about her father. I was too far in bliss to really give it much thought though. I drove home with the windows down and my music blasting. I sang along to every note with a huge smile on my face. I wondered if she was free tomorrow night…..

_**Well I met that girl**_

_**And she took me where I've never been before**_

_**Miles away from my so called life**_

_**I didn't really care**_

_**She took me there**_

A/N: The first date! Yay! The two songs are "First Date by Blink 182, haha, and "Oklahoma Girl" by the Eli Young Band. My IPod is diverse like the characters, so you are going to see all kinds of things on here! Please READ AND REVIEW! No one had reviewed yet and I know someone has to be reading this! It would make my day! Thanks


	4. I Can't Help Myself

**Sorry this took so long to anyone who is actually reading this story! My life has been a little crazy, but school is over now! Woo! Anyway, I'll try to update more often now! Enjoy!**

_********************************************************_

_**Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel**_

_**Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so, **_

_**Come feel this magic I've been feelin since I met you**_

_**Can't help it if there's no one else**_

_**Mmmm I can't help myself**_

I jumped in, head first, with no uncertainty about my actions. She had captured me and I couldn't deny that she was everything I wanted, and I barely knew her. But Bella was nervous and I could understand. Love is a scary thing, an overwhelming feeling. I wasn't too worried though. I could tell she wanted it too. I wanted to respect her wishes and take things slow, even though every part of me was screaming to be with her day and night.

The weekend was here again and I hadn't seen her since Monday. I called her last Sunday, the day after our date, and we talked for hours. We had so much in common and we made each other laugh. I went into my favorite diner on Monday night, keeping up the short lived tradition, to see my favorite waitress. We had the same playful banter but she seemed a little more guarded. It all made so much since now, but at the time, I was a little confused. I thought she felt all of the same things as me and then, suddenly, she seemed to be pulling back.

So here it is, Friday night, and I'm lying in bed, thinking about our conversation from Monday night.

I was sitting in "my booth", waiting until close and she came to say goodbye. I wasn't ready for goodbye yet though.

"Hey Bella, do you want to come over for coffee? I thought maybe we could talk a little."

"Um, sure." She seemed hesitant and guarded again.

"Can I wait for you here or do you have a lot to do before you can leave?" I asked her.

"Oh you can just go home. I'll meet you there in an hour if that's ok. I want to go home and get out of my diner clothes," she laughed.

I laughed with her but had a sudden thought of _me_ getting her out of her diner clothes. As soon as I realized what I was thinking about, I shook my head and made myself move on. I mean, we had only kissed.

"Alright then, I'll see you in a bit," I told her.

"Ok," she smiled. I was on my way out the glass door when she called my name.

"Edward," I turned to look at her. "I don't actually like coffee just so you know. I don't want you wasting anything on me," she offered with a smile.

"How about a glass of wine then?" I asked her.

"Sounds wonderful."

With a smile and a wave, I left. I stopped on the way home to buy a new bottle of wine and took my time driving. Sitting at home waiting for her would make me crazy and I really didn't need that. I wanted to know, so badly, why she was acting reserved. I would ask her after the wine started flowing.

Tonight was slightly chilly so I started a quick fire in the living room and got out the glasses. I put on some quiet music and sat down to wait. Thankfully, I only sat alone with my thoughts for a few minutes before jumping at the sudden sound of my doorbell ringing. I went to open the door and what I saw there made my breath catch in my throat.

Bella was different tonight from any other time I had seen her, and I loved it. She had on jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. Nothing special, but they fit her just right. Her hair was wet and a little curly, making my hands tingle with a need to be wrapped up in it. My eyes settled on hers and they were sparkling with the light from the porch light.

"Hi Bella," I breathed, moving out of the way to let her in.

"Edward," she smiled and walked through the door, stopping to wait for me. I turned to her with one corner of my mouth pulled up. My hand drifted to the side of her face and I bent down and gently touched my lips to hers. An electrical shock ran through me at the simple touch and I could hear her breathing stop. I quickly grabbed her hand and brought her into the living room.

We sat on the couch together and I poured the wine. Handing Bella a glass, I slid back into the couch.

"How was your shift tonight?" I asked.

"It was good. I made a lot of money tonight so I can't complain," she grinned. "There is this weird guy that keeps coming in every night though." Her smile got bigger.

"Weird guy huh?" I asked "That's fine, I just won't come see you anymore," I joked.

Bella laughed, softly. "What did you do all day, Mr. Writer?"

"You think I don't do anything all day don't you?" I said with a smile.

"No, no! That's not what I meant at all. I just really don't know what you do all day." She had a slightly frightened expression on her face; like she was scared she might have offended me.

I chuckled lightly and put my hand over hers, bringing them to rest in my lap. "Bella, take a deep breath. I was only joking." She seemed to let out a small sigh, relief. "I finished unpacking the house over the last two days. Nothing exciting, that's for sure. I plan on sitting down tomorrow to start a new book. I haven't actually worked in a while," I acknowledged, smiling at her. "To be honest though, I don't know how much work I'll be able to get done."

Bella's brow furrowed slightly. "Why is that?"

"Well, I don't mean to be too forward; I don't want to scare you or anything. But I sit here by myself all day and I'm left with my thoughts. Most of the time, I find my thoughts drifting off to you." I looked down at our linked hands and hoped my confession wasn't too much for her.

Bella's breathing picked up and she squeezed my hand slightly. "That's not too forward, Edward." Her voice was very quiet, but also reassuring. My eyes slid up to hers, hoping to see happiness there. She did look happy, but also scared.

"I have the same thing going on. Focusing on my school work is not as easy as it should be because my thoughts are clouded with you." She blushed furiously and I felt my own face light up as a huge grin spread across my lips. Unfortunately, that scared look was still lurking behind her eyes. She dropped her eyes to her lap, looking a little ashamed. I used my finger under her chin to lift her face.

"Bella, why do you look scared?"

She shook her head and tried to look away again, but I wouldn't let her.

"Bella?" I questioned again.

"As excited about this as I am Edward," she took a deep breath, "I got hurt really badly about 6 months back. I can't help but be scared. I hate that I have to think twice about this….about you, but I really can't just let my heart take over after what happened." She turned her eyes to mine. "Do you understand?"

How could I say no to that? She was being upfront and honest with me, which is what I had wanted from her. My looming question had been answered; I understood why she was apprehensive. "Of course I understand. We can take things as slowly as you need. If it is ever too much for you, let me know. I don't ever want to make you feel rushed, or scared."

I tried my best to reassure but I knew my words would only get me so far. Bella was going to have to learn to trust me on her own, and that, I knew, was going to take time.

"Thank you Edward," she smiled at me and it touched her eyes. "You are already so good to me and it's only been a little while. Why is that?"

"I can't really explain it Bella. You have a hold on me I've never experienced before, and I want nothing more than to make you happy and I'll do whatever I have to so that you can be." I ran the back of my hand across her cheek and then cupped it. Bella's eyes closed as she sighed and leaned into my hand.

"Thank you," she told me again.

I leaned forward and put my lips next to her ear. "You don't have to thank me Bella. This right here," I turned my head and kissed her cheek, "is all I need. I'll do what I have to so I can keep it."

I went to move back to where I had been but Bella's hand on the back of my neck stopped me. I looked at the side of her face and then she turned to look at me. Our lips met softly and I couldn't breathe. It was so simple and yet it took my breath away.

We had kissed before, and those had been great, wonderful, but this was on a different level. There was so much passion in our small union. What started out as sweet and innocent soon escalated to heated and exciting.

My hands held Bella's head firmly as my mouth claimed hers. Her hands clutched at my back and I moved over her, stretching out on the couch. Our bodies were crushed against each other and I was in Heaven. I pulled back from Bella's mouth grudgingly, but continued moving my lips against her skin. Over her jaw, down her neck, across her collar bone and she was moaning softly.

"Oh Edward," she whispered, while her hands pushed against the back of my head. I couldn't get close enough to her either, and my name slipping from her lips in pleasure was almost more than I could handle.

My hands ghosted down her sides before gripping her hips and pulling them against mine. My lips moved back to hers and she swirled her tongue through my mouth, causing me to moan against her lips.

Just then, my conscience kicked in, and its timing couldn't have been worse. But hadn't I just told Bella that we could go slowly and everything would be on her terms? No, she wasn't pulling away. In fact, she seemed to be a willing participant. But after the talk we just had, I felt like I was already betraying her.

I pulled back, breathing heavily, and rested my forehead against hers. Bella's eyes fluttered open and I saw confusion there. I touched my lips gently to hers once and settled back against the couch, still holding her close to me.

"Why did you stop?" she whispered, a blush coloring her cheeks.

"I think we agreed on taking it slow. As amazing as all of that felt," I grinned at her, "I don't want to rush into the physical stuff. It is my experience that the physical aspects of a relationship only make everything that much more confusing. It will come soon enough."

Bella nodded and took a deep breath. "You're right," she confessed. "But damn was it amazing."

We chuckled together for a moment. I dragged a hand through her soft hair and we laid there for a while, enjoying each other's embrace.

It hadn't been nearly long enough but I knew it was getting late. "Don't you have school in the morning?" I asked her.

Bella sighed heavily. "Yes. I should probably get home. But I really don't want to," she groaned. I didn't want her to either but it had to be done.

I helped her out the door that night and I hadn't seen her since. The phone conversations were all that was tiding me over until now. Lying here in bed was going to slowly take away my sanity if I wasn't careful. When I spoke to Bella tonight, I confessed to her that I needed to see her. She giggled and I could hear the blush in her voice. It was adorable. We agreed to go out tomorrow night, so I just had to make it through this one.

I thought back to our small make-out session on the couch and how she felt against me. My happy thoughts lured me to dreamland. I would see Bella tomorrow.

_**I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you**_

_**You wanna touch me too**_

_**Every day, and all I have is time**_

_**Just put your hands on me**_

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**Songs for this chapter are "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift and "I Wanna" by All-American Rejects. PLEASE REVIEW! I had trouble writing this because I really have no idea what people think, so please take a second to review. It would make me really flipping happy! **


	5. That Other Guy

_**And it's like I can't feel a thing **_

_**Without you around**_

_**And don't mind me**_

_**If I go weak in the knees**_

_**Cause you have that effect on me, you do**_

_**Everything you say**_

_**Every time we kiss, I can't think straight**_

_**But I'm okay**_

_**And I can't think of anybody else**_

_**Who I hate to miss**_

_**As much as I hate missing you**_

_Saturday! Thank you God!_ I thought as I woke up the next morning. Weekends hadn't been a big deal to me since I got out of school. Now, they seemed to hold me together. For this is when it appears I would be able to lay eyes on my beautiful Bella.

Tonight we decided to just do dinner and a movie. I know it's pretty typical but that's what she said she wanted. Who was I to tell her that wasn't good enough? Since Forks is really bare, Port Angeles was our best option, and I certainly wasn't going to mind spending half an hour alone in the car with her. More time for us to get to know each other.

I felt like I already knew Bella so well though. We talked on the phone so much that I knew about her family, or lack of one, her favorite foods, that she liked baseball, she was klutz, her dreams of a family, and everything in between. The only thing I didn't know about was the ass that hurt her before I came along. I could tell he screwed her up pretty bad but she had never offered information on it. I didn't want to prod but I was really nosey. And really, how do you even bring something like that up without it all getting awkward. Maybe she would be comfortable enough someday to tell me.

I started writing after breakfast because work had to be done eventually. My publisher was starting to get antsy and I was not holding up my end of the bargain. The last time I tried to do this, my thoughts had been so flooded with Bella that I wasn't capable of anything decent. Not that I didn't still feel that way, but it was worth a try.

Much to my surprise, new ideas flowed from my fingers like a river and I couldn't stop. My stomach was growling around noon but my hand stayed glued to the keyboard, not willing to stop, demanding to be heard. Finally, my thoughts rested enough for the typing to slow and then cease.

I was rubbing the back of my neck with my hand when I looked at the clock….._shit_. It was 5 o'clock, leaving me 45 minutes to get ready. I guess that wasn't so bad. How long can it take when you are a guy, right?

I popped in the shower and let my muscles relax under the hot water, steam swirling around the bathroom. The nerves were still raging, every time I thought of Bella, and I wondered how long it would keep up. Sure, I'd been nervous around girls before; women did that to a guy. But it had never lasted this long, and it wasn't lightening up either.

I shook my head and turned off the water before wrapping myself in a towel. I had wasted a solid twenty minutes in the shower and rushed through the rest of my routine; brushing teeth, drying hair, styling hair, getting dressed. I sometimes wondered if my life would be easier if I just cut off all my hair but it was kind of my signature.

By 5:45 I was strolling out the door, IPod in hand, ready to be in Bella's intoxicating presence. Lost in my thoughts of her lips on mine and my hands in her hair, on her hips, all over her, I arrived at Bella's house before I really even knew I was driving.

Bella's door flew open and her bright smile greeted me. "Hey," she said, before throwing the front door closed. She seemed very confident this evening, and I liked it. Bella was sexier than ever.

"Hey," I smiled, slipping my hand around hers. We stood and smiled at each other before moving on towards the car. Once inside, I pressed play on the IPod and Jason Mraz quietly emitted from the speakers. I took her hand again and squeezed gently before beginning our journey.

_**So please, give me a hand**_

_**Give me a lesson**_

_**A lesson on how to steal**_

_**Steal a heart**_

_**As fast as you stole mine**_

"There are a couple of movies out right now that look decent and I have times for a few so I thought you could pick one."

"Sounds great!" she enthused. Bella was beaming tonight and I was captivated. "What are my choices?"

"Angels and Demons, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and Night at the Museum. Anything sound good to you?"

"Ooooo. I don't know…..I want to laugh, but which one to pick. How about Night at the Museum?"

"Good choice," I smiled. "So, what has you in such a wonderful mood, I've never seen you this exuberant."

"Well, I was going to wait until dinner to share my good news, but sense you are more perceptive than is necessary, I guess I'll spill the beans now." Her laughter echoed in the small space of the car, music to my ears.

"You can wait if you want. I don't want to ruin your surprise or anything," I grinned at her in my usual lopsided way.

"No you aren't ruining it!"she told me. "Actually now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever mentioned him to you, which is so weird…." She trailed off in thought.

_He? What does she mean 'he'?_ I wasn't sure I liked the sound of her surprise. I could feel my smile falter a little but I didn't want to put her off so I slid it back into place and silently waited for her to continue.

"Anyway! That doesn't matter. What does matter, is that you get to meet my best friend! He's coming home from college for Spring Break and I haven't seen him in forever! I really can't believe I've never told you about him! I guess it just never came up. He knows about you though. Oh listen to me ramble!" She finally took a breath and her cheeks were flushed at her accidental admission.

So much for thinking I knew almost everything there was to know. I laughed at her lightly and though I couldn't help the jealousy bubbling up in my chest, it was nice to see Bella this happy.

"I am so glad you all are going to meet though. He's very important to me and so I'd like to see what you all think of each other." She smiled at me, turned towards me in her seat, and held my hand in both of hers. "So, what do you say?"

"Sounds good to me," I told her. "It will be nice to meet someone who is so important to you. What is his name?"

"Stupid me, I've been going on about him and can't even mention his name. Jacob Black. We grew up together. He's the one who helped me get over……"

Bella became suddenly distant and her eyes were downcast. I could only assume the nameless creature, monster, from her not-so-distant past was trying to emerge.

"Hey," I said softly. Her eyes darted up to mine and they were shadowed with pain and hurt. I hated this guy for the look that he caused on her face and the brokenness that I knew was behind the look.

"We don't have to talk about any of that unless you want to. Okay?" I reassured her, gently brushing my fingers across her cheek.

She nodded but stayed silent for a while. We sat and listened to the music as my car sped down the highway. When the lights of Port Angeles came into view, I finally broke the stillness inside the car.

"So, do you like Asian food? I thought we could try this Japanese place I read about online. It sounded really good."

She seemed startled at my sudden speech but smiled at me anyway. "I love Japanese food. I think it is actually my favorite. Have you been spying on me?" She squinted her eyes at me playfully.

I chuckled. "No but apparently I guess really lucky when it comes to you! But I'm glad you said that because I love it too. This place is a hibachi grill so they cook in front of you." I smiled broadly at her before taking off from the light we had been stopped at.

"Oh how fun! I've never been to one of those before."

"Score another point for me then," I said as I brought her hand up to mine to kiss the back of it. She laughed at my comment but stopped abruptly and closed her eyes when my lips made contact with her skin. I smiled to myself. It was so nice to know I wasn't the only one with those kinds of reactions when we were together.

I parked quickly and opened her door before helping Bella step out of the car. "Thank you," she said as she straightened her shirt. "I hope I'm dressed ok, I don't know if this is too casual or not." She looked self-conscious and my heart warmed. Bella had no idea how gorgeous she was.

"You look absolutely beautiful," I promised as I kissed her cheek. "Let's get inside so we aren't late for our reservation." I shut the car door and she closed in on my hand this time. Her blush was back but I just smiled at her.

"Hello and welcome to Jin Beh. How many this evening?" our hostess asked.

"Oh I have a reservation for 2 at 6:30 under Cullen."

"Let me see…..yes sir. It will be just one moment." The hostess left her stand for a moment and Bella and I waited patiently, stealing glances at one another. "Alright Mr. Cullen, right this way please."

We sat down at a table with two other couples who were chatting with each other animatedly.

"Good evening. What can I get you all to drink?" The waiter had appeared out of nowhere and Bella and I both jumped a little. We had been too busy in our own little world to notice anyone else.

"I think I'll have a tea," said Bella.

"Coke for me please," I told the waiter. He slipped away from the table with a promise of being back soon and we went back to each other.

"Tell me more about Jacob. What did you all used to do together?" I wanted to know exactly how involved they had ever been, if I had reason to worry about this guy but I didn't want to scare her off with those kinds of questions.

"Well, Jacob grew up on the reservation just outside of Forks. He's Quileute Indian, and he's huge. I swear, when we were in high school, the kid was bigger every time I saw him. He's a year younger than me. We met because our dads were friends. Jacob and I ran around together as kids, playing in the mud and riding our bikes. The usual stuff. I'm very blessed to have him in my life though. Besides my dad, he's the only person I've ever know who's stuck around through everything."

She smiled broadly and I was glad she had Jacob. Bella deserved to be taken care of and it was nice to know that she had such a good friend to help her through life.

"We tried dating once," Bella continued and I could feel myself tensing. "It just wasn't us though. Jake is a good guy, but it was like kissing my brother." Her face had an adorable scrunch plastered on it and I couldn't help but laugh, relaxing into my chair.

"Sounds wonderful," I joked. My arm draped on the back of Bella's chair and waiter placed our drinks down in front of us. "Thank you," we said together and the waiter gave us a funny look and we both yelled "Jinks!"

"Wow, aren't we mature?" Bella said.

"Hey," I replied, leaning up next to her. "At least we know how to have fun," I whispered in her ear. I saw Bella shudder and I smiled to myself. I could get used to this.

Dinner continued with our fun banter and stories of her and Jacob's childhood. We laughed and enjoyed our meals. By the time the check came, we were practically on top of each other. I hadn't noticed us scooting closer together but apparently one, or both, of us couldn't get enough of the other. I was happier thinking that it was both of us scooting into each other.

"It's 8 now, and the movie is at 8:15 so we should probably get moving if we want to see the previews." I stood up and helped her get out of her chair.

"The previews are my favorite part!" Bella smiled and looked like a kid on Christmas. Who knew anyone would get that excited about previews?

We hopped into the car and she directed me to the lowly theatre in Port Angeles. While walking up to the window to get tickets, I took Bella's hand in mine, noticing how comfortably our hands fit together. She smiled and pulled in a little closer to me.

"Two for Night at the Museum please," I told the attendant. The kid behind the Plexiglas looked bored out of his mind and I couldn't help but pity him. He slid me the tickets and told us to enjoy the show in perhaps the most bored tone I've ever heard. Bella and I gave each other a knowing look, moved inside the doors, and laughed quietly.

"Do you want anything from the snack bar?" I asked.

"Heck no! I'm stuffed from dinner." She smiled at me and then blushed deeply. "Well doesn't that make me sound attractive?"

I pulled Bella in as close to my side as possible and leaned down next to her ear. "You're always unbelievably attractive so please don't put yourself down." I kissed her hair and led us past the guy tearing tickets.

Inside the theatre, I let her choose again. "Where do you like to sit at the movies?"

"In the seats that have the rails in front of them or the top row."

"We are in luck then. Those two seats have our names on them," I said, pointing. I led her to the front row of the upper section of seats.

The lights went down slightly as we took our seats and Bella noticeably perked up in anticipation. She "oooed" and "ahhed" through the previews before settling in for the movie. I watched her intently the whole time and I couldn't even tell you the previews we saw.

I was still holding Bella's hand but I felt electricity surge between us as we were engulfed in the darkness. Drawing lazy circles on the back of her hand with my thumb, I fell into a trance sitting there with her. I looked over at Bella and saw her looking back. I smiled at her and she turned back to the movie. Even in the darkness there was a hint of a blush.

Thirty-five minutes into the movie I had no idea what was going on and I suddenly felt a nudge on my shoulder. Then a small weight settled in there and I looked down to see Bella's head on my shoulder. A huge smile crept across my face and I leapt for joy in my head. Bella was finally starting to feel more comfortable with me.

A few minutes later I abandoned her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Bella snuggled in closer to me and I inhaled her beautiful scent as I kissed the top of her head. She looked up at me with a quick smile before turning her attention forward again. I had no idea how she was paying attention to the movie because she was all I could concentrate on.

My hand glided mindlessly up and down the side of her arm while my thoughts drifted off to places they shouldn't have been. I couldn't help myself though, Bella was just so damn irresistible, and she had no idea how taken I was with her. Besides, the surrounding intimate darkness alluded to so many other wonderful things.

I had no intention of corrupting our previous arrangement to take taking things slow, but I was only human, and a male at that. All I really needed was a good make-out session. I wanted a whole lot more, but that would be on her terms, not mine.

Someone coughed next to me, bringing me back to the harsh reality of the theatre and all I had to cling to was how desperately amazing Bella felt cradled against my side. I glanced down at my watch, silently wondering how much longer I was going to have to sit here like this. Only 30 minutes to go.

Finally, as I thought I was about to bust, the credits started rolling and Bella began to stir by my side. I grudgingly removed my arm from her shoulders and looked over to meet her gaze.

"So, did you like it?" she asked, a smile lighting her features.

"It was alright, I think the first one was better." I made up an answer because I really didn't know what I had just watched.

"Yeah I think I do too, but this one had its own moments. "

I stood up and held my hand out to her. "Let's get out of here. I'm thinking ice cream sounds like a perfect thing to do right now."

"I agree," she said with a huge grin.

We talked idly through ice cream and the car ride home. I didn't want the night to be over when we got to her house, but I definitely couldn't invite myself in.

I pulled up to her curb and I heard Bella take a deep breath. "What was that for?" I asked with a smile.

Her small smile was nervous as she glanced at me, then down to her folded hands in her lap. "Do you maybe want to come in for a bit?"

_Is she crazy_, I thought to myself. "Of course. That sounds wonderful," I told her.

She looked visibly relieved and I went to help her out of the car. We walked to the door, hand-in-hand, and I waited patiently as she unlocked the door. "Sorry about the mess…." Bella rattled on about the state of her living space but I could barely focus on what she was saying.

_What am I going to do with myself? How am I going to handle this much more time around her, all alone, and still remain a gentleman?_ My thoughts were a furry as I crossed the threshold into her home and prayed for and small bit of strength to help me make it through tonight.

_**When day is through**_

_**I will come to you**_

_**And tell you of**_

_**Your many charms**_

_**Girl you look at me**_

_**With eyes that see**_

_**And we'll melt into **_

_**Each other's eyes**_

_**You'll be my queen**_

_**I'll be your king**_

_**And I'll be your lover too**_

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The songs for this chapter are "6 Months" by Hey Monday and "I'll Be Your Lover Too" by Van Morrison. Hope you liked it! Please for the love of Pete review. I get really excited when I see people have reviewed! Constructive criticism is appreciated. Lemon coming soon. Probably chapter 8!


	6. Pain and Blossoming Love

_**Pain throws your heart to the ground**_

_**Love turns the whole thing around**_

_**No it won't all go the way it should**_

_**But I know the heart of life is good**_

I'm not exactly sure what mess Bella had been referring to but the house looked perfect to me. That could be because I couldn't take me eyes off of her. Also, I was mentally road-blocking myself so that I could remain a gentleman. If I didn't, there was a good chance I'd end up taking her on the kitchen table in about 2 seconds flat.

"This is it," she said, waving her arms around to gesture at the rooms. "Home, sweet home."

Tearing my eyes away from Bella's beautiful form, I took a quick glance around at the house. "I like it Bella. It's nice. I don't know what you were complaining about," I laughed.

"Thanks," she said, smiling at me. "Make yourself comfortable on the couch. Do you want a glass of wine?" she called out, walking into the kitchen.

"I'd love one," I called back, wandering into the living room. I looked around at the various pictures and decorations, stopping on one photo in particular. Bella was with an older man who I assumed was her father. They had their arms thrown around each other and big smiles slapped on their faces. This served as more proof to me as to how close they were.

I retreated to the couch as Bella came in with our glasses. With her legs curled under her, Bella settled in next to me on the couch and smiled.

"Where is Charlie at tonight? He's never here when I come get you." I was curious about her elusive father.

Bella handed me a glass of wine before answering my question. "When you've come by to pick me up he's been at work. Tonight he stayed in La Push, the reservation. He went fishing with Billy, Jake's dad, and he just decided to stay for the weekend because they wanted to go again tomorrow. It's rare that the weather is good enough for them to be able to go once, let alone two days in a row."

"Oh okay. Sounds like a good time," I smiled. She nodded while taking a sip of her wine.

"So," she said, "I think it's time I told you the story about the jerk so that the elephant in the room goes away."

"Bella," I began, "don't feel like you have to tell me about him or that whole situation. I understand your reason for being quite. He hurt you and no one wants to relive that kind of pain. I don't want you to feel pressured into telling me what happened. "

"I don't feel pressured Edward, I promise. Thank you for being so understanding, really. But I feel like you deserve to know. I feel that it's only fair that you know how much of a mess I am before we get too involved." She gently grasped my hand. The look on her face said she needed the reassurance. Maybe nervous about the story she had to retell.

"You are not a mess," I told her, before cupping her cheek with my free hand and kissing her softly. Bella smiled against my lips and giggled slightly.

"Oh but I am!" she warned. "Now, before you distract me anymore, let me get this crap out of the way so that it doesn't ruin the whole evening." She gave me a small push and I raised my hands in defense.

"I'll behave, scouts honor," I told her solemnly with three fingers up. "Let's have it and I'll see what I can do afterwards to make forget about him," I teased, with a huge smile on my face.

"Oh really Mr. Cullen? I might have to take you up on that." There was a mischievous glint in her eyes and my heart started racing. I could get used to this.

"Well then I'll keep my fingers crossed."

"Alright, Casanova," she said, playfully shoving me. "Where was I? I guess I should just start at the beginning. His name is Mike and I went to high school with him. We dated for four years, starting my senior year. Typical high school romance I guess. I thought we were going to get married and that I couldn't have been luckier, but damn was I wrong….." Bella's soft voice traveled off and she got a far-away look in her eyes.

I moved closer to her on the couch and she shook her head before smiling at me. "Sorry, I haven't really told many people about any of this. Moving on! He works in Port Angeles for his dad's company. Between both of our busy schedules, we didn't get to see each other much. I wanted to surprise him one Friday, so I got my shift taken over, and made the drive up there. He was supposed to be off soon and I figured we could go out and have a date night. We hadn't done anything like that in a while." Bella paused, waiting to make sure I was following.

"Sounds logical to me, and I'd be pretty happy if you surprised me," I encouraged. I was pretty sure I could see where this was going, and I wasn't very happy about it.

Bella laughed lightly before continuing. "I really guess I should have known. We never went out any more and he was always staying late at work. Typical signs that are always there in this kind of case, but who ever actually sees it? I just didn't want to believe that he could do something like that to me. I brushed it off for a good six or seven months, acting like the absence and his lack of interest didn't bother me. I kept telling myself that maybe it was because we had been together for so long. I mean relationships aren't always exciting, you get into ruts."

"You shouldn't have to make excuses like that Bella. Relationships, good ones, don't work like that," I reassured her, running my thumb over the back of her hand. "I'm sorry I keep interrupting you, I just hate that you've convinced yourself relationships go that way."

"I know that now. I made excuses for him, but I won't make that mistake ever again. I won't get walked on that way, or used." There was a fire in Bella's eyes that I hadn't seen out of her before, but damn if it wasn't sexy. I couldn't think about that right now though. _Focus Edward, she's spilling her heart out to you._ "Anyway, I got there about 15 minutes before his leaving time. The office was pretty empty because it was Friday and people had gone home early. Even his secretary wasn't there to let me in. So, I threw open his office door, hoping to see a smile on his face, and there was. It just wasn't for me, and it quickly turned to the face of a scared little boy. I can look back on that now and relish in his panic. Mike had his secretary bent over his desk and he was fucking her with more vigor than I had ever seen. Explained really quickly why the bitch wasn't there to let me in his office." Bella had a bitter smile on her face and it didn't fit her beautiful face. "Sorry, I curse like a sailor when I get angry," she confessed like it was a dirty lie and blushed.

I smiled back but ignored the playful comment and went right for the serious stuff. "I'm sure you've heard this a million times by now. It's nothing but the truth though. You deserve so much more than that. I know enough about you by now to understand you are too great of a person to have some asshole like that pummel your heart." Bella smiled as I leaned in to kiss her, and she deepened it before I had the chance. Her tongue caressed my bottom lip before timidly exploring my mouth. I loved how gentle she was, but it made me crave more. I slowly pulled back from her and rested my forehead on hers.

I was breathing heavily but forced myself to speak. "By the way, the cursing is kind of sexy, especially since you were all riled up," I whispered to her. I kissed her once more and then sat back again. "So then what? He can't be stupid enough to have just let you walk out."

Bella sighed. "Oh no, he didn't just let me walk out. After recovering over the initial shock, I turned and ran for the car. I was pretty sure that image would be burned into my memory and I certainly didn't want to stare at it any more. As the elevator doors closed I could see Mike running towards me, calling my name, and zipping his pants up. That really made my heart want to reach out and forgive him," Bella rolled her eyes. "He left messages and showed up at work and here at home, begging me to take him back. I didn't look at him or listen to him and I guess he finally gave up. I don't really care. He's not coming back and I sure as hell don't need the bastard."

"You're very strong Bella. Not many people have the ability to look at a situation in that light. I'm impressed." Bella blushed at my compliment and I reached out to feel the warmth on her cheek.

"Now you know why I space out and why I feel like I need to go slow. The thing is I feel a ridiculous need to trust you. So I'm telling you now, as confusing as it might be, you don't have to worry about handling me with kid gloves. I know that I trust you, and I believe in you. Come see me when you want to and take me out when you want." Bella laughed and then turned her head and kissed my hand, linking it with her own. A smile spread across my features at her admission.

"I take that as a huge compliment. Thank you for the vote of confidence," I told her.

"Don't thank me; I was fully prepared to make you stick to the original plan. It's my subconscious; it's taken over," she said, pointing to her head. I laughed with her at the gesture.

"Well thanks anyway. And thank you for telling me that story. I know it was hard for you, but I understand a lot more about you now." _And now I want you even more._ Everything in me wanted to jump her.

"Alright, let's talk about something happy. When is your friend Jacob coming to visit?" I had to keep the conversation going or we were going to be making out like high schoolers.

"Oh! Well, he said he'd be here on Monday so two days! He's staying here so we can meet up next weekend and all go out to a bar or something. I'm still really happy about you all meeting. I think you guys will get along, at least I hope so. It should be a fun week though. I took off from work and I'm out of school too. It'll be just like old times. You know, we don't have to wait until next weekend to get together. I'm just so used to only seeing you on the weekend that I hadn't even thought about it! I'll be free all day and so we can just work around your schedule."

"Sounds fantastic to me, and my schedule will work for you," I smiled at Bella. "You all should have time to catch up and what not. When you're ready for me, give me a call and we'll get together. Okay?"

"It's a date," Bella smiled. The look in Bella's eyes when she said 'date' drew me in. She looked vulnerable but sure, and it was something I had never seen before. There was a spark there too, and something that told me she wanted me in the same way I wanted her.

I knew I didn't have to hold back as much anymore, so without hesitation, I leaned over and captured Bella's lips with my own. She responded immediately by wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning into the kiss. Our tongues pushed and caressed the other and I pulled Bella as close to me as possible. The upper halves of our bodies were as close as could be and it still felt like it wasn't enough.

Bella slid over, straddling my lap, before threading her hands into the back of my hair. I moaned slightly into her mouth at the feeling of her fingers massaging my scalp and how her body fit perfectly against mine. I was in heaven. I ran my hands down her sides before resting them on her hips. Bella took that as a cue and began grinding her hips into mine. My hands helped guide her and they slid under the thin fabric of her shirt to touch the velvet skin of her back. I trailed my lips across Bella's jaw and then down the column of her neck. Bella's head rolled back slightly.

"Edward," she whispered. Shivers rippled down my spine and I pulled Bella that extra bit closer. My heart stuttered to a stop and then picked back up at an alarming rate.

My hands ghosted up her back and then back down again, causing her to arch into me. I tightly wrapped my arms around Bella quickly and I turned us on the couch so that we were lying down. Bella pulled me back up to her face for a kiss. Her lips landed hard on mine and I relished in the feeling she was creating in me.

My knee drifted in between her legs and brushed against her center. Bella gasped slightly at the contact and began crushing her hips against my leg. Her back left the couch and she pulled my head down to her throat. Running my tongue across her skin, I gently pulled her shirt up a little and splayed my hands flat against her back. I tore my lips away for a second and then continued to worship her by licking, kissing, and sucking the skin on her stomach.

More moans drifted from Bella's lips and it was like music to my ears, egging me on to give her more. I wanted to give her so much more.

The movements of Bella's hips were becoming frantic and my own arousal was straining against my jeans. I wanted to stay with her all night and give her the attention she deserved and had clearly never gotten. Bella's hands were roaming quickly over my chest, shoulders, and across my stomach where my jeans rested. I was going to lose it soon if she wasn't careful.

Somewhere off in the distance there was ringing and it pulled me out of the lust filled haze I was quickly drowning in.

"Damnit," came Bella's muffled voice. She sighed heavily and rolled off of the couch, running to the kitchen to grab the offensive piece of plastic off the wall. I collapsed onto the couch with a quiet groan and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"I'm so sorry," Bella offered as she came into the room. "My dad was calling to make sure everything was ok here. He doesn't quite understand that I'm 23 years old yet." She gave me a sheepish smile.

I stood up to face her and leaned in to give her a small kiss. "Don't worry about it. It's getting late anyway. I should leave before the small town people start talking about my car being out there this late."

Bella laughed at my sad attempt at a joke and led me to the door.

"Thanks for telling me everything. I know it's hard for you to trust me, but I promise I'm not that guy. Thank you for giving me a chance."

"Edward, I already told you, I trust you. So shut up," Bella smiled and kissed me goodbye. "You're pretty amazing by the way." She smiled at me and then hugged me. I pulled her close to my body and then swiftly let go before I attacked her.

"Call me when you want to get together and make sure you have fun with Jacob! Remember, my schedule will work around you so I'll be ready when you are." I gave one last grin and walked to my car. Hopefully she would have trouble waiting a while to see me and it would only be a few days before she called me. I just have to make sure to get along with Jacob. The small green monster in my chest was not content and I had no idea why. There was absolutely no reason for me to be jealous of some guy she'd known for years and I'd never met…..none at all.

I focused on breathing deeply as I drove home and ran over the evenings' events in my head. I smiled myself to sleep and knew that Bella and I were headed down the right track together.

_**You don't have to move, you don't have to speak  
Lips for biting.  
You're staring me down, a glance makes me weak  
Eyes for striking  
Now I'm twisting up when I'm twisted with you  
Brush so lightly  
And time trickles down, and I'm breathing for two  
Squeeze so tightly.**_

I'll be fine, you'll be fine.  
This moment seems so long  
Don't waste no precious time  
We'll dance inside the song

What makes the one to shake you down?  
Each touch belongs to each new sound  
Say now you want to shake me too  
Move down to me, slip into you

**************************************

A/N: I know I know, I suck! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. Here is the new chapter, and hopefully chapter 7 will be up in a couple of days! I really hope you liked it! Please let me know your thoughts and what not! I need the inspiration to keep going!

Songs for this chapter: The first one was "The Heart of Life" by John Mayer and the ending one was "Dance Inside" by All-American Rejects.


	7. I'll Carry You Home

_**Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?  
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?  
I sing ya songs I dance a dance  
I gave ya friends all a chance  
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you  
And maybe you been through this before  
But it's my first time**_

I guess when I look back at it I didn't actually have to wait an awfully long time for Bella to call me. I saw her on Saturday and she called on Tuesday, but damn it if it didn't feel like three weeks had passed by. Plus, Bella had sounded completely and utterly happy. I was slightly jealous that anyone else could make her sound so happy but still glad that she was that happy. My ridiculous jealously was causing me to feel conflicted, which was, to say the least, uncomfortable.

Sunday and Monday passed slowly with long lost thoughts of being caught up in Bella's embrace and subdued by her lips. Needles to say, I got very little writing done. My publisher was going to be none to happy and very ready for me to move back to the city where I actually got my work done. Fat chance of that happening.

On Tuesday evening when my phone buzzed on the kitchen counter, I sprinted for it. I had been acting like a lost puppy dog at my house, waiting to hear from her. I breathlessly answered the phone at the last second.

"Hello?" I heaved.

"Hey Edward!" Bella's voice emanated brightly from the speaker of the phone. She giggled into the receiver and asked, "Why do you sound like you just ran a marathon?"

"Ha ha Bella. I don't sound that bad. I had to run to get the phone. It wasn't sitting around me. How is Jacob's visit going?"

"Fantastic! We are having a blast together and I have really missed him so much these last couple of months." With those words I inadvertently felt myself deflate. How ridiculous could I be? "Of course, I have had quite the distraction this last month," Bella laughed softly into the phone and I could almost see the blush that would be appearing on her beautiful face right about now. My heart was soaring. It's funny how much of a reaction her words could cause in me.

I smiled to myself at Bella's admission; more proof that she was falling just as fast as I was. Somewhere in my head I already knew that, but the reassurance couldn't hurt.

"So anyway, Jake and I thought we could use some company tomorrow. What do you say to takin' some time off of work and hanging out with us for the day?" Her voice sounded so hopeful as she asked her question.

"Well….let me check my schedule. I'm a very busy man you know." I could hear Bella laughing as I pretended to look at my calendar and I could feel the huge smile spreading across my lips. "Yeah, I've gotta move some stuff around but I think I can squeeze you guys in." By this point I could barely get my words out through my laughter and she was right there with me.

"Okay smart ass. We were thinking of making a day trip to Seattle. Or would that be asking for too much of your time?" Bella joked back with me.

"Sounds like a plan to me. I haven't been up there yet," I answered when our laughter had finally died down. "What time did you guys want to leave?"

"We were thinking…." Bella's voice trailed off in thought. "Jake, what time do you think we should leave in the morning?"

I could hear a deep voice rumbling in the background for a moment.

"Really?" she asked in a shocked tone. "That early? Crap." Bella sighed and returned her attention to me. "Can you be ready to go at seven?" Her voice had a very grudging tone to it.

I laughed at her childish display. "Seven is fine with me. I'm a big boy."

"Wow, you're on a roll tonight," she chided. "Well it's my week off and I really like my sleep. I better head to bed soon or you'll be dragging me around tomorrow." Her laughter enveloped me through the phone once again.

"Bella, its 6:30! How much sleep do you need?" My words took on a mocking tone.

"Ha ha Mr. Cullen. Be at my house by 7 or you'll be left behind." She tried to sound tough and serious but it wasn't really working for her.

"Yes ma'am. Go get your beauty rest old lady. I'd sure hate for you to be grumpy tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Edward." Bella was still giggling when the phone line went dead.

I laid in bed that night, remembering our playful conversation from hours before and trying to crowd out my nerves. Tomorrow could go one of two ways, and I was going to pray to God that everything would be just fine.

**************

The drive to Bella's house the next day went really quickly. The small town was apparently still asleep at 6:45 in the morning.

As I turned off the car at her curb, I saw a tall, lanky guy walk out of Bella's front door. He seemed slightly intimidating until I saw the tiny girl he was dragging behind him. Bella looked like a zombie. Her hair was everywhere, head off to the side, and eyes half closed. It was adorable. I chuckled to myself and got out of the car.

Jacob nodded to me as a hello and I returned it, standing at the end of the driveway with my hands in my pockets. As they got closer, I began to wonder if Bella was even awake. They came to stop in front of me and Bella stood there lifelessly. Jacob shook his head and his eyes rolled. I smiled down at her and bent down next to her ear.

"Good morning Bella!" I shouted into her ear. Bella's eyes flew open and her head snapped and she stumbled back. I caught her shoulders to keep her standing and tried to stifle my laugh as she began glaring up at me.

"Ya know, I'm not sure I want you to go anymore," she snapped at me.

"Aw, Bella's grumpy." I gave her a puppy dog look and she stalked past me to Jacob's car. I smiled at Jacob and stuck out my hand. "Nice to finally meet you. Bella has been raving about you."

He gave me a half smile and shook my hand a little too firmly. "Yeah she never stops talking about you. Shall we?" he said, gesturing to his car. His face was tight and it was a little unnerving. I've never met him and already he's being stand-offish.

"Yeah," I said. "Nice car!" I exclaimed. It was a beautiful 1960's Mustang GT.

"Thanks," he beamed for a moment. Then his face went to a tense look again. Bella was clumsily trying to climb into the back seat of the car and I hurried to catch her.

"No, no, no, you will sit up front," I said, grabbing her hips. Bella froze under my touch and backed out of the car before standing up. She turned to look at me and my hands slowly dropped from her side. "You should sit next to your friend. I'll sit in the back," I explained quietly. I leaned down to kiss her softly before pushing past her into the back seat. I pulled the seat back and Bella slowly slid into it. Jake was coughing as he got into the car in an extremely fake manner. I assume the display of affection was too much for him.

The engine of the car roared to life and Jacob wasted no time racing away from the curb. The car stayed silent for a good forty five minutes and I was pretty sure Bella had fallen asleep again. Finally, Jacob reached over and turned the radio onto full blast on some rock station. Bella jumped out of her seat and Jacob and I filled the car with laughter.

"Damn it! Can't a girl get some sleep around here! You guys are like children. Ugh!" Bella yelled at us as we attempted to calm ourselves. She sighed and sat back with her arms crossed.

I leaned between the seats and rested my head on her shoulder. She tried to shrug me off but I quickly kissed her cheek and grinned at her. She turned to me with squinted eyes but her semi-fierce look disappeared and she blushed.

"Gosh Bells, it's about time you joined the land of the living," Jake called out, interrupting our small moment.

Bella threw her head back in laughter and her face lit up. "You're beautiful," I whispered into her ear before sitting back. Jacob looked more annoyed by the second.

"So Edward, I don't know what kind of stuff you're into but I thought we could hit the batting cages this afternoon. I'm a big fan of baseball, just like Charlie. You know, Bella's dad. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to hit some balls, let off some energy. Bella would have to watch, but she likes to cheer me on, don't ya Bells?"

"Oh yea Jake, it's my one pleasure in life!" Bella rolled her eyes at me over the seat.

"Oh please Bells, I know you like to see the muscles." Jacob was clearly trying to make me jealous. Unfortunately for him, Bella was making me more than comfortable. I could hear her making gagging sounds from her seat. By now my shoulders were shaking from laughter and I couldn't help anymore as sound escaped my lips. Jacob's eyes narrowed at me for a moment through the rearview mirror. I inwardly sighed. _It's just one day Edward; one day._

_**All the nights we stayed up talking  
listening to 80's songs  
and quoting lines from all those movies that we love.  
It still brings a smile to my face.**_

Bella and Jacob bantered back and forth in the front seat while I listened and threw out the occasional comment on whatever topic was at hand. Mostly they reminisced about old times that I clearly couldn't relate to. Jacob hardly acknowledged any comment I made and I was at a complete loss for what to do about it. At least Bella was enjoying herself.

Three hours later we had parked at a small breakfast bistro in Seattle and settled into a table to have brunch. I latched onto Bella's hand and rested them on top of the table, not caring what Jacob thought about it. Bella eyed them quickly with a small smile and turned to Jake.

"I really want to go to the mall here Jake. I know, I know! Bella, shopping? But I have some specific stuff I want and Alice, a girl from school, sent me with a list of must-have's. She means business too. My head will be on the chopping block if I don't come back with the right stuff." Bella laughed and shook her head.

"The mall Bells?" Jacob sighed. "I guess I can endure the torture, as long as we get to go to the batting cages afterwards." Jake pointed at her as if to warn her and she pushed his hand away before turning to look at me.

"What about you Cullen? Can you handle girly time at the mall for a little while? Testosterone fest will ensue later. I promise." She gave me a smile and batted her eye lashes at me. "Please?"

"As long as I can make fun of you while we do it," I conceded. I kissed her hand and our food arrived.

"MMMMM! This place is amazing," Bella raved about her meal. "One bite and I'm hooked. I'm so glad we stopped here. Best French toast, ever!"

"Ever huh? I don't know, mine's pretty damn good if I do say so myself." I bragged jokingly with Bella.

"Oh please Cullen, no one is ever as good as they say they are." Jacob acted as if he were joking but there was an unmistakable edge to his voice.

"Ask Bella, she's had my cooking." I gave Bella my lopsided grin and smiled back.

"Yes Jake, he really is that good," Bella assured him. "But what I want to know it, why have I not had the pleasure of receiving some of this supposedly earth-shattering French toast?"she asked, turning her attention back to me.

"Well Bella, French toast is for breakfast, and you've never been at my house anywhere near breakfast time," I explained in a mockingly serious tone.

Bella gave me a devilish smile before replying in a low tone. "Maybe we'll have to change that then." She leaned in towards me and I closed the distance with a small and slow kiss. I kissed her nose once lightly afterwards before going back to my own breakfast. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jacob was fuming as he shoveled in his food. I clearly needed to keep the PDA in check before he went postal. Hopefully he's just protective and I'm not looking at any competition here.

"How long is this mall excursion going to take Bella?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "A couple of hours maybe? Hopefully not too long because remember Jacob, I don't like shopping any more than you do."

"Okay, okay. I'm just trying to plan. I guess we can get lunch at the food court in the mall." Jacob got a far-away look in his eyes.

"Lunch Jake?! How could you possibly think about lunch after stuffing your face here? I don't think I can eat again for a week!" Bella sat back and patted her stomach thoughtfully with a lazy grin.

"I can always eat Bella, you know that. Wow, that a sexy pose. I don't know how anyone could possibly resist you, seeing you in this moment," Jacob jested with Bella.

I laughed at Jacob's joke and Bella pushed his arm. "I know what you mean Jacob," I told him, continuing the joke. "I might have to take her on the table right now." I winked at Bella as she laughed and tried to hide her blush. Jacob looked less than amused but threw on a stiff smile for Bella's sake. _I can't win with this guy._

I paid for breakfast and Bella thanked me. Jacob offered a hard response with "yeah, thanks" and I just nodded at him. If he wasn't going to make an effort, why should I? Because of Bella, that's why.

"Let's head out to the car and commence with the torture. " Jacob pulled out Bella's chair before I could get to it and took her hand as we all walked out the door. He was becoming more possessive by the second, and I was about to be not so understanding.

The lock popped on the door and I climbed into the back of the classic car. This guy didn't deserve such a nice car.

"So, what do you think of Jake's car?" Bella asked as she climbed into her seat. Jacob revved the engine and we took off from the tiny restaurant. There was an awkward silence before Bella spoke again. "Hello? You alive back there or are you comatose from too much food?"

Jacob and I shared a glance, wondering where her brain had gone. Maybe we could bond over Bella's absentmindedness.

"I already told him I liked it Bella, remember?" She looked at me with confused eyes and then it dawned on me, making me feel like the slow one. "You were asleep still! Well, to recap, I love it! I'm pretty jealous actually." I gushed about the car like a girl with new shoes.

Bella proceeded to dote on Jacob like a proud mama. "He built it himself! Isn't it great? He and I spent a lot of time in his garage working on it. Well, he worked on it and I watched. It was really not an option for me to go near his tools," Bella laughed. "Those are his babies."

"Wow," I commended. "Awesome job man. I couldn't have done this."

"Thanks," he replied warmly, finally dropping the tough guy act. He slid into a parking spot at the mall and turned to Bella with a raised finger. "It's 11:30 now. You have one hour to drag me around before I want to eat. Got it?" He had a stern look but a comical gleam in his eye as he threatened Bella.

"Yes your highness." Bella gave a half bow before laughing and getting out of the car. I latched onto her hand before Jacob could get close. I don't feel as though I'm staking a claim, but he had to know there were boundaries.

Bella ran down her list and we headed off to a make-up store and then a department store. Jacob made comments under his breath and rolled his and overall, kept me highly amused. He was even laughing with me instead of glaring. We grabbed a quick lunch in the food court precisely an hour after we arrived. According to Bella, Jacob was really cranky when he didn't get his food. I surely did not want him getting any worse.

Bella had three more stops to make before we could leave, the last one being one I was intrigued by. What man isn't intrigued by Victoria's Secret though?

"You two can wait outside or go over to the sports store. I refuse to walk around this pink nightmare with lap dogs."

"Oh come off it Bells. Like I want to go in there with you anyways. I'll be looking at jersey's so just come get me when you're done," Jacob explained.

Bella gave me a pointed look and I raised my hands up in defense. "I'll just go with him."

Jake and I walked off as Bella cringed at the entrance of the lingerie store. The part of my mind that I couldn't control wondered if I might get to see her in something from there sometime soon. I quickly banished the thoughts and focused on trying to get Jacob to be civil to me. The car comment had helped earlier but more progress could be made.

"You like baseball, huh? Whose you're team?" I asked, hoping he would get talking at the mention of sports.

"Oh I'm a Mariners fan, all the way. Just like Charlie. Do you watch?" He sounded interested but didn't so much as look at me as he scanned the racks of jersey's.

"I used to play in high school but I haven't kept up with it in recent years. I've kind of just drifted off into my own zone lately with the whole writing thing, you know?"

"Oh," he said. All interest disappeared from his voice and I watched my window of opportunity slip away. "Well that's a shame. But hey, that's cool that you used to play. What position?" He looked at me with genuine interest and I decided that I needed to stop reading so much into him.

"I was short stop actually. I really miss playing sometimes. It was a good outlet."

Jacob nodded at me. "Well, we'll see in a little bit if you had any talent," he said with a grin.

"Oh I had talent alright, you just wait…." My voice trailed off as Bella rushed into the store. She looked flustered. "Done already?" I asked her.

"Yes thank God! Time to go boys. I want the hell out of this place." Her words were rushed as she quickly grabbed my hand and proceeded to drag me from the store.

Jacob and I were both laughing at her display all the way to the car. It was a short drive out to the batting cages and I was glad I was in tennis shoes, jeans, and a t-shirt. At least I would be comfortable enough. I hadn't done this in a loooong time. We grabbed our bats and Jacob climbed into the cage first.

Bella stood there and clapped for Jake while I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Are you having a good time today?" I whispered into her ear.

Bella giggled and nodded. "How about you?" she asked, turning slightly to look up at me.

"I'm with you aren't I?" I leaned down to give her a chaste kiss before we returned our attention to Jacob. He was swinging hard and knocking the balls against the opposite gate with a loud thud. In between a couple of pitches from the machine, he looked back and gave Bella a wink before whacking the next throw.

"Jake, I don't think I've ever seen you play this hard before. What's gotten into you?" Bella gushed over Jacob and the green monster flared in my chest.

Jacob shrugged as he emerged from the cage and handed the bat to me. "You're up Cullen. Let's see what you've got."

I pulled on my helmet and silently walked into the cage. He was just trying to egg me on, no sense in letting him see that it was getting to me.

Bella clapped for me too. "Let's go Edward!" she shouted as the first pitch came my way. I knocked it against the fence and settled in to get ready for the next one. I hit three more in the same fashion, easy going swings, before smiling at Bella. She had moved a little closer to the cage and she was beaming at me. That gave me confidence and I put more force into my last couple of swings. The balls rolled back towards me from the other side of the cage because of the power behind the swings.

I had a huge grin on my face as I emerged from the batting cage. I threw the bat down to the side, pulled of the helmet, and ruffled my hair a little. It never looked done, but who wants helmet hair?

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled he rclose against me. "Nice job Mr. Cullen. I'm impressed."

"Thanks, sweetie," I pushed my forehead against hers for a second before looking up. "Did I live up to the expectations Jacob?" I called over her shoulder.

"Eh, not so bad I guess." Jacob picked up the bat and went back into the cage. He and I carried on taking turns and beating the hell out of the balls, vying for the biggest amount of praise from Bella. I always won out. By the end of my last turn, Bella was grinning at me from the bench and she looked exhausted.

"You ready to go?" I asked. "You look tired." I gave Bella a sympathetic look and cupped her cheek in my hand.

Bella nodded and nuzzled into my hand. "Sorry to stop the fun but I did not sleep well last night and we have a long drive back."

"You aren't stopping anything. We should head back; three hours is a killer drive. Come on, "I took her hand and pulled her up before putting my arm around her shoulders.

"You guys are a couple of old people, geez." Jake glared at him and he backed down. "Alright, alright, let's get you to the car sleepyhead."

We all settled in for the ride back to Forks. Bella sprawled out in the back seat and was sound asleep before we even hit the highway. The car stayed silent and tense for the first half of the trip until Jacob finally cracked.

"Look Edward," he began. "I don't know you really and I certainly don't know your intentions for Bella. What I do know, is that if you hurt her, your pretty boy face won't be in-tact. Did she tell you about _Mike_?" The disdain was evident in his voice as he spoke the name of Bella's ex.

"Yes, and judging by the tone in your voice, you and I share a mutual hatred for the scum." I seethed. The mention of the asshole's name set something off in me and I just wanted to break something.

"That may be true but you weren't around when it happened. You weren't here to help her pick up the pieces and try to move on. She was a shell of the Bella I used to know. I can't describe how much pain I wanted to inflict on him, but she wouldn't let me. Bella is a wonderful person and in no way deserved what happened to her. She deserves someone who will take care of her and do all of the things that jackass never thought of." Jacob spoke with conviction and I knew how significant his words were.

"I completely agree. And no, I wasn't here, but I wish that I had been. I wish that I had been here before it even happened so she wouldn't have had to suffer. I hold nothing but good intentions for her. I'm just glad that she had you to hold her together. Thank you for being her rock Jacob. You kept her going until I could get here. She's very important to me. I know it sounds crazy but Bella has touched me in a way no one else has before." I laid it out for him to understand that I meant her no harm, only wanting to worship her.

"Look Cullen, as long as you don't leech the life out of her, we're good." Jacob's threat looked and sounded serious but I couldn't help the laughter that broke free from my mouth. Jacob laughed with me and the rest of the car ride was spent talking about baseball and music. Jacob and I had a surprising amount common and I felt relaxed with him by the time we got back to Bella's house. We even stopped at Wendy's on the way home to grab our dinner. We wanted to get something for Bella but it was like trying to wake the dead to see if she was even interested.

In front of her house, I coaxed Bella out of the backseat and caught her before she fell onto the pavement. Man, when she was out she was really out. I carried her to the door and Jacob let me inside before pointing to where her room was. I made it up the stairs and gently laid her against the soft fabric. I pulled off her shoes and draped the covers over her. Bella looked absolutely beautiful as she slumbered and I couldn't keep the smile off of my face.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead before whispering, "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, Edward," she mumbled in her sleep and my smile grew wider. My heart swelled too and I bid Jacob goodbye as we climbed into our respective cars.

_**Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl  
Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home  
And I'll carry you all the way,  
You say you're fine  
But you're still young, and out of line  
All I need is to turn around,  
To make it last, to make it count**_

_************_

**Ok so this was a long chapter and hopefully that makes up for my tardiness. I hope Jacob came out okay, I was really nervous about writing him! Let me know what you thought, good or bad. I had a couple of reviews and adds last chapter and I did a dance because of it! Please make me dance again! Thank you to the wonderful girls who did review! **

**Songs for this chapter were: #1 "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson, #2 "In This Diary" by the Ataris, and #3 "Sweet and Low" by Augustana. **


	8. D Day

_**I want to turn the whole thing upside down  
I'll find the things they say just can't be found  
I'll share this love I find with everyone  
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs  
I don't want this feeling to go away  
Who's to say  
I can't do everything  
Well I can try  
And as I roll along I begin to find  
Things aren't always just what they seem**_

It had been 2 weeks and 3 days since I had met and survived Jacob. That time had been filled with dinners, laughter, and multiple amazing make-out sessions on the couch. I've never been happier in my life than I have been in this last month with Bella. She had turned my world upside down, taken over, and left me waiting for more. Its crazy how one silly, beautiful, intelligent, and remarkable woman can make your life what you've always wanted it to be; more than you ever thought it could be.

Today, however, was D-day, so to speak. That is, I was meeting Charlie for the first time today. I don't know how I had managed to avoid that for the last month when she lives with him but I guess she kept me at bay, waiting for the right time. I really had it quite easy in comparison to most meet-the-family dinners. All I had to handle and win over was her dad since that was her only family. She had lots of people to meet on my side, and I still wasn't sure how that would work out since we all lived in such different places. But that was a worry for another day.

Right now I had to focus on a way to make Charlie understand I wasn't in any way like Mike had been and that I intended nothing but the best for his daughter. I had to show him how much she meant to me. I knew his guard would be up and he would be on the offensive because of everything that Bella had been through, and I couldn't blame him. I was just hoping he would give me a chance and trust that I was a different person.

Bella called me a few hours before I was supposed to be at her house.

"Hello?" I answered without looking at the caller ID. I had been on a roll with my writing and wasn't paying much attention to anything else.

"Hey," Bella greeted me. I instantly focused on the phone and smiled in spite of myself. "How are you feeling about tonight?"

"Good, I think. I mean I'm nervous, but I know I'm a decent person and hope that your father can give me the benefit of the doubt," I explained. Although, my words sounded more confident than I actually was.

"Well don't you sound sure of yourself," Bella chuckled. "Here I was calling to offer you reassurance and support and you don't even need it."

"Well, at least I sound confident because I'm nervous as hell. Your support is greatly appreciated, believe me!" I couldn't lie to her and make her think I was fine when there was a small chance that I might crack at dinner.

"Aw, I wish there were something I could actually do for you rather than just say I'm here for you. That just doesn't seem like enough. I'm not going to sugar coat it though because he will be hard on you. It's unfortunate that it has to be that way but after Mike, he just doesn't trust anyone with me. Plus I'm the only child and a daughter at that. No one is ever good enough for daddy's little girl." I appreciated Bella's honesty, feeling a little more prepared.

"Bella, it is more than enough for you to be there for me. I don't expect you to be able to make it any easier. Charlie's fears are reasonable and I would feel the same way if I were in his position. I just hope he can look past all of the things that don't have to do with me and realize how much I care about you."

"If he's paying any attention at all he'll see it. Trust me." I could hear the smile in Bella's voice and I couldn't help but feel slightly reassured about everything. How had I ever made it without her?

"Thank you. You have helped whether you know it or not. I need to go though. I was in the writing zone so I want to get this chapter finished before I need to leave. I'll see you soon though," I promised. My voice had an unusual twinge to it that can only be described as pathetic. I didn't even want to locate the will to say goodbye for a few hours. What was I getting myself into with her?

"Alright," she dragged out in an exasperated tone. "I guess I can let you get back to your work. See you later."

"Bye," I smiled into the phone one last time before ripping away the receiver and gluing my hands to my keyboard.

For the next two hours I furiously pounded the buttons on my laptop and cranked out the rest of my chapter and another one. This should shut up my publisher for a while at least.

Before I knew it I was standing on Bella's porch waiting for someone to open the door. Heavy footsteps sounded behind the barrier and then the door swung open to reveal a gruff looking Charlie. His eyes were inspecting and dissecting already. I could certainly see the resemblance. Same hair and eye color. The only difference was Bella shined and he looked like he had seen one too many bad situations in his day and there would be no changing his perspective on the world.

With a smile on my face, I thrust my hand out and greeted him. "Chief Swan, it's nice to finally meet you sir."

He had an extremely firm grip as he shook my hand once and nodded, "Edward." Without another word to me, he stepped back, pulling the door with him to let me in.

This, clearly, would not be the most comfortable evening.

The door closed noisily behind me and I could feel Charlie staring me down. I looked over at him and just as I was about to speak to him again and fill the uncomfortable space with _something_, Bella appeared though the door to the kitchen. _Thank you, God. _

Her beautiful smile brightened my mood considerably. "Hey Edward," she greeted, coming over to give me a hug. I half-heartedly returned it, taking in Charlie's glare at my hands anywhere near his little girl. Bella kissed my cheek quickly before stepping back

"Dad, I see you already met Edward." She gave him a hard look before turning back to me. "Are you ready to go? I'm starving!"

I laughed quietly. "I'm ready if you are," I gave her smile.

"Let's get going then," Charlie stated. I tried to keep a smile on my face for Bella's sake as I grabbed her hand and we walked out the door. I felt slightly put off by his demeanor, even if it was what I expected. He was set on hating me no matter what I did or who I was. _Oh how I love paying for others mistakes._ As we all climbed into my car I told myself to man up, because even if he didn't like me, Bella did.

Charlie insisted sitting in the back, but something told me it wasn't because he wanted Bella and me to be able to sit together. There was an uncomfortable silence as we got on the highway, heading for Port Angeles.

"So," Bella said, filling the car with her wonderful voice, "did you get your work done today?"

"Yes!" I told her excitedly. "I actually pumped out two chapters today so I should be okay for a little while. The sharks will be holding off."

"Oh good," Bella smiled. "Daddy, how was work last night? Anything big happen?"

"Bells, you would have heard about it by now if something big happened. You know as much as I do that no one in this town can keep their mouth shut. Today was just another boring day at the station."

"Sorry to hear that. School was boring too so don't feel left out. Good news though, a month and a half until I graduate! I think I'm going to spend the summer working at the diner and relax a bit before I run out and find a real job. I'm not sure I want to be a boring adult yet." She and I laughed and I squeezed her hand.

"That's great honey," Charlie told her from the back seat.

Bella spent the rest of our trip talking about projects and papers for her classes and I offered to help her proof an essay she was nervous about. I watched Charlie through the rearview mirror every once in a while but we hadn't spoken to each other since saying hi. I had to do something.

I parked and helped Bella out of the car. Charlie snorted behind me and Bella gave him a death glare. Really? He was upset that I opened her door? How can I possibly please someone who's too busy playing papa bear to have any damn sense?

"Table for three," I told the hostess after we walked in. She walked us to our table and I pulled Bella's chair out, earning an eye roll from him this time. Was he aware that he was acting like a child? I felt bad about thinking those things about Bella's father, but this was beginning to get slightly absurd.

Our waitress appeared right away and then left just as quickly to get our drinks.

The awkward silence from earlier was back with a vengeance, and rather than look at the menu, I was desperately wracking my brain for some way to make this better. Bella's hand reached over and soothingly squeezed my leg. Apparently I was terrible at hiding my nerves.

"Alrighty guys, are we ready to order," the bubbly girl asked as she set down our drinks.

"I'll have the chicken sandwich and vegetables please," Bella told her.

"Ribeye and baked potato," Charlie said in a brusque tone. Well, the good news was that he wasn't just being short with me.

I panicked and just doubled Bella's order. I looked up at Charlie and resolved to make him like me. Bella and her father were close, very close, and I didn't want his opinion of me deterring her from our relationship. _Here goes nothing_, I thought.

"So Chief Swan, Bella tells me you love your job. How long have you been with the police department?" I figured he might talk about his job since it was his territory.

"A little over twenty years now. I started right after Bella was born. She tells me you're a writer. How much money do you make doing that?"

"Dad!" Bella shouted. People from other tables looked over and Bella lowered her voice. "That's none of your business." Her beautiful face was molded into a scowl and I couldn't help but notice how cute she was when she was fired up.

"Bella," I soothed, "it's alright. I'm sure he just wants to make sure I'm good enough for you."

Charlie muttered under his breath but I still caught it, "You'll never be good enough for her." Then there was a small thump and he jumped in his seat.

"I make a good living sir, I assure you. I love my job too, surely you can relate to that. I do it because it makes me happy. The money is really just a perk."

"See dad?" Bella scolded. "He makes more than enough money. Now can we move on to a more pleasant subject?" Everyone was quiet for a moment as they eyed each other. Returning to work related topics, I tried again for a conversation.

"Can you please tell me more about what you do, Chief Swan? I'd be interested to hear what it's like in a police station." Maybe if I kept him talking about what he loved he would get off my back for a minute.

"Nothing much since Forks is a quiet town. I generally sit at a desk all day and fill out paper work. I get to do the easy work now since I don't patrol anymore. What kind of books do you write, Edward?"

Apparently he didn't want to talk about me. "Uh, well…" This was going to be tricky. I didn't want to lie but he was going to have a field day if I told him the truth. "I actually write romance novels. It sounds ridiculous, especially for a man, but I like doing it and it's easy. Plus, it more than pays the bills and leaves me with time for things I want to do and time to see my family."

His eye grew more incredulous with each word I spoke and I was quickly losing hope that I would be able to salvage myself in his eyes. "Romance huh? You sure you're not gay?" The waitress walked up with our food, just in time to hear his last comment.

Grown men don't normally blush, but I couldn't do a thing to stop the color creeping onto my face. I just shouldn't have said anything, but I couldn't take it back now. I bent my head and shook it slightly, amazed at how this was going. I could feel Bella squeezing my leg again but it wasn't helping that much.

The waitress tactfully ignored the apparent uneasiness and kept a smile on her face. "Does everything look alright?" the waitress asked.

"Looks great!" exclaimed Charlie. Food, it seems, was the way to this man's heart. At least he would be happy for a few minutes.

As soon as the waitress left, Bella descended on her father and I could do nothing but stare. Her finger was pointed in his face as she began her rant. "Dad, I do not appreciate the way you are treating Edward. He has done nothing wrong here or any other time I've been with him. He treats me better than any guy I have ever been with, or been around for that matter. So what if he writes romance novels! He's good at what he does, he makes a good living, and he's a good man. Just trust my judgment here and know that he is nothing like Mike. Can you be nice or do we need to leave now?" It was almost as if she were talking to her child rather than her father.

The look on Charlie's face was priceless as he listened to her and he merely nodded before returning to his food. Bella looked at me apologetically and I just smiled at her. We both turned to our food and we all ate in silence for a few minutes, tension thick in the air. I only ate a few bites before I decided I needed to stand up for myself. It wasn't right to let Bella make waves with her father and not say anything on my own behalf.

"Sir, I understand your apprehension where I am concerned. I know what Bella has been through, and I can promise that I am not that kind of man. I also know that Bella deserves so much more than she has been given before, and I am prepared to give her everything she has been missing out on and more. I know it's only been a month, but I care about Bella a lot. So please, have faith in me to do right by her. I will not let you down, because I refuse to let her down." I looked at Bella and smiled. She was staring at me with an awed expression before she spoke.

"Thank you, Edward. That means so much to me." She leaned into me a little and held my hand tightly beneath the table.

"We'll see Edward. You seem sincere enough but so did the last jerk, and I won't stand for her getting hurt again. You seem like you have good intentions but only time will tell. That's the best I can do." Charlie spoke with conviction now instead of careful disinterest, and it was intimidating.

"Thank you, sir. That is all I can possibly ask for. I find it wonderful that you and Bella have such a good relationship and your approval means a lot to both of us. I promise not to let either of you down."

"We'll see," he said again. "Now, can I get back to my steak before it gets cold?"

This was clearly not a question he wanted an answer to as he resumed stuffing his mouth. Bella and I exchanged another look before returning to our own meals. She kept in constant contact with me through the rest of dinner. Either her hand was on mine, or her leg was against mine. I reveled in the feeling and was content finally.

"Edward," Charlie addressed me, "tell me about your family."

I swallowed my bite before speaking. "My parents are Carlisle and Esme. My father is a successful doctor. He too loves his job and is excellent at what he does. My mother is wonderful, kind, and well-liked. She does some design projects on the side, it is her passion. She is quite talented and I owe how great my house looks to her. I have one sister, Alice. She's a designer too, but she sticks to clothing. She and her husband live in LA. Her husband's name is Jasper and he's a Marine. He's a little quiet, especially for our family, but a wonderful man."

Bella was beaming at me when I looked over to her. "What?" I asked her.

"Nothing. You just speak so passionately about them," she explained.

"It seems like you have a great family," said Charlie.

"That I do sir. I am very blessed and my family is very important to me" I continued.

"That's good," he said. Charlie was a man of few words but he was being civil now and he looked thoughtful rather than annoyed.

The bill came and I snatched the check right before Charlie could pick it up. "Now Edward, I don't need you to pay for my meals just because you're a well-to-do author. Hand that check over, I've got this."

"Sir, please allow me to pay. I dragged you out of your house tonight," I told him as Bella placed her hand on my arm.

"I think you've given him a hard enough time tonight, Dad. Just let do this," Bella warned.

Charlie nodded and ate his last few pieces of steak.

The waitress moved with lightening speed when it came to processing the bill. I signed the receipt and Charlie leisurely got up from his seat, patting his stomach. I helped Bella up and, instead of a snort, Charlie looked like he appreciated the care I took with Bella. I followed them out the door of the restaurant, my hand resting gently on Bella's back.

Once we were on the road again, Charlie piped up from the backseat. "Can we turn the game on, please? I'd like to know the score."

"Sure," I told him, quickly turning the dial to the right station and raising the volume a little.

"Dad," Bella called. "How is Billy surviving the game without you?" She laughed for a moment before he responded.

"I think he's at someone else's house on the reservation tonight. Billy is never alone, don't worry." Charlie's words were quick and sounded distracted.

"Sorry, I'll shut up," Bella told him.

Charlie mumbled something unintelligible from behind us before growing silent again. He groaned when the score announced the Mariners were behind two runs and the announcers took a commercial break.

"Charlie, I used to play baseball. I was short stop on my high school team. I haven't watched it in years but I would like to get back into it." I was grasping for a way to relate to this man, trying to make sure we stayed on good terms.

"Yeah, I think Jake mentioned something about that while he was still here. You should come watch a game with me and Billy one night."

"Ok, thanks," I told him. _I'm in,_ I thought. I felt triumphant suddenly.

"Great," Bella chimed in sarcastically. "Someone else to yell at the TV." She was smiling brightly at me and I knew she was happy about the break through. The game came back on and we were mostly quiet the rest of the ride home. The only exceptions were when Charlie was feeling opinionated about something the announcers had said.

I helped Bella out of the car again and turned to follow them up to the door to say goodnight. Bella stopped me by holding onto my arm. "I'll be inside in a minute, Dad."

"Alright Bells. Edward, nice to meet you." He shook my hand firmly again but gave me a small smile.

"You too, sir."

He walked into the house a few seconds later and Bella let out a sigh. I turned to look at her and she was shaking her head in an exasperated manner.

"I'm so sorry about tonight. I never would have done this if I knew he was going to be so rude. Thank you for being so wonderful about everything. First the interrogation with Jake and now the wrath of my father; you weathered the storm pretty well." Bella pulled me in for a hug and I kissed the top of her head, my arms sliding around her waist.

"Bella, I expected it to be hard. You are more than worth a few hours of being uncomfortable. I can handle it. Thank _You_ for standing up for me at dinner. I'm glad you feel that way about everything." I tried to reassure her that I wasn't mad.

"I don't know about all of that. I mean, who's really worth that kind blatant rudeness? Besides, he was out of line and it was going to take me to put him in his place. I went crazy for a minute though," she said with a giggle. She pulled her head back and looked at me.

"Trust me, you're worth it," I assured her. She didn't understand how important she was to me in this short amount of time. Either that or she didn't want to believe it. "Don't worry about the mini lecture though. It was kind of sexy seeing you all flustered like that." I smiled slyly at her and bent my head to kiss her. I could feel her smiling against my lips and then her tongue darted out to smooth over my bottom lip. My arms instinctively pulled her closer for a moment before I came to my senses. Her father was probably watching us and I had just gotten on his good side. I didn't want to screw up already.

I pulled back and we both sighed quietly. "I think you're mad but if you want to think that then go right ahead," Bella joked. She was laughing again as I kissed her lips gently one more time before taking her hand and walking her to her door.

"Thank you again," she said.

"Anytime for you," I told her. She hugged me quickly and then slipped inside of her house. How did I get so lucky? She impressed me more every time I was with her and I knew it was only going up from here.

_**You don't have to believe me I'm just speaking my mind  
you look lovely as always you get that all the time  
you don't have to believe me when I tell you that I'm impressed  
but you sure better believe me when I say you deserve the best**_

_**I don't want nobody else  
And nobody else is gonna treat you the way they ought to  
And that's what you deserve  
If I could make you see it  
So you can truly believe it  
So you won't even need it  
You don't have to believe me  
And I continue on  
You've still got the potential  
That you've had all along  
You don't have to believe me when  
You're shaking what you got  
But you sure better believe me when  
I tell you your mind's what's hot.**_

_***********_

Yay for surviving Jake and Charlie! Hope this went okay! I know he was a little OOC but that's where the character took me! PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!

The two songs for this chapter are: 1- "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson, 2 – "You Don't Have to Believe Me" by Eric Hutchinson.


	9. You Are Mine

_**I don't wanna rush this thing  
I don't wanna jump the gun  
I really wanna say those three little words  
But I'm gonna bite my tongue  
Yeah, I'm just gonna lay on back  
Leave it on cruise control  
I'm gonna hold it all inside  
Till the right time comes down the road  
I got a feelin'  
My head's a reelin'  
My heart is screamin'  
I'm about to bust loose  
Bottled up emotion  
It's more than a notion  
It starts with an "I"  
And ends with a "U"  
I got a feelin'  
You're feelin' it too**_

I survived the important men in her life so that hopefully I may join them. I wanted to be one of the few people Bella deemed good enough to become a more permanent fixture in her life. We had been going strong for three months now and I felt like I was near to that point of being someone she wanted around for a long while. Especially after the meeting with Charlie two months ago where she had stood up for me, I was feeling confident. Thinking about that still made my heart soar. Bella and I had grown so close and now that she had graduated, we spent an absurd amount of time together. It was wonderful.

She and I had been in Port Angeles and Seattle a lot lately. As great as it was to run around the city together, Bella decided we needed a nice and quiet night in. Tonight, that meant cooking dinner together at my place. Bella took over in my kitchen and I couldn't help but notice how comfortable she looked there.

"How is the book coming?" she asked as she slid her chicken and rice casserole into the oven.

"I'm on the last chapter," I said, flashing a grin. I was putting the finishing touches on a salad to go with dinner, my grand contribution. "Once I'm done, I can send it off for editing and forget about it for a while. I'm pretty happy with it too. I feel like it's better than anything I've tried to do lately."

Bella's brilliant smile beamed back at me. "That's wonderful! So is tonight a celebration then?"

"I think that sounds like a great idea. But what's a celebration without the wine?" I asked, popping the cork on a new bottle of red wine.

"Oh yes," she teased. "There must always be wine!" Bella was laughing quietly and I playfully glared at her.

"Yeah, okay, because you don't like wine at all. That's fine then, I'll just keep this bottle for myself." I turned away from her, pretending to hoard the bottle. Her laughter rang through the kitchen as she ran towards me from the other side of my island. I escaped her tiny hands and pretended to laugh in an evil manner.

"Edward Cullen," she pointed, trying to sound menacing but it wasn't working. Between that and the cute scowl on her face, I doubled over in laughter and she caught me, snatching the bottle from my hands. I looked at her as she took a swig straight from the bottle. "Now I've contaminated the bottle. Looks like I'll be celebrating alone." Her tone was biting but her smile gave her away and I wrapped her in my arms, swiftly, before leaning down to kiss her.

"I think I'm kind of partial to your germs, thus making your evil plan devoid of power."

"Oh stop talking like a writer, show-off," Bella joked, pushing lightly on my chest. I moved to the cabinet to get glasses, chuckling at how ridiculous we were together, but loving every minute of it. She and I had been pretty lucky in our relationship with how well we got along. We hadn't had any real fights, knock on wood.

I set the wine glasses in front of Bella on the counter and watched as she carefully filled them.

"Do you still think you might wait until August before you look for a job in the city?" I asked.

Bella looked a little startled at my question. "Yeah definitely, I think I deserve the break. Why?" Her eyes were curious as she handed me my glass.

"Well, I was just wondering how much time we had left like this, where I get to see you whenever, before you rush off to become a big shot," I joked in an attempt to hide my worry. I thought maybe I might lose her when she got a taste of the real world.

"Edward, we won't lose time like this completely, I promise. There just won't be as much of it. But hey, it'll be more special when we do get to cook dinner together and just be with each other." Bella's eyes looked sure, unwavering, and I couldn't help but be comforted by her words.

"Okay," I smiled at her. "We'll just tackle that mountain when it gets here."

"Tackle huh?" Bella said, wiggling her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at her antics but secretly wished she wanted to really tackle me. Lord knows I wanted to tackle her. Bella and I hadn't yet reached that point in our relationship so those were unsafe thoughts and I chose another road to travel down.

"How long until we eat?" I was patting my stomach in anticipation.

"Men and food," Bella said, shaking her head. "It should be out of the oven soon. Let's go ahead and have the salad so that you don't waste away before my eyes." I felt my eyes light up at the mention of salad and I rushed to get bowls, forks, and dressing.

We sat at the island in the kitchen instead of going to the dining room table. It felt like Bella belonged here, in my kitchen, cooking with me, like it was _our_ kitchen. Eating together like this had become a comfort to me. The oven dinged and Bella moved to get the casserole out.

"Do you want to just eat in here? We're already here and I think maybe I like it better in here." I couldn't help that I sounded unsure of myself, and I really hated that. I had been that way all night though. Something had changed with us, something big. I knew what the something big was, but I wasn't sure if she knew. Since we had taken the "go slow" route, I didn't want to allow my head to go to the place my heart was already in. I was steadily losing that battle though and I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to reign it in.

"Sure, I kind of like it too," Bella said with a shy smile. Maybe she was there too. I was going to kill myself with the maybe's.

Bella and I sat together, eating, laughing, talking, and touching. We held hands or our legs brushed. They were simple gestures, things I should be used to by now. If this were any ordinary relationship, I would have gotten over the butterflies of touching after about a week. This was clearly no ordinary relationship though. I'd never been this deep and felt so much, it was amazing and scary.

"Why don't you take your wine to the living room," I leaned in to give her a kiss, "and I'll clean up a bit in here." I gave her another brief kiss before she smiled up at me.

Bella nodded at me. "Music choice is mine though," she called to me, then winked and skipped through the door.

I smiled to myself and shook my head; what was I going to do with that woman. I put the food away and cleaned the counter tops off. The sound of Eric Hutchinson bounced into the kitchen while I closed the refrigerator. _Good choice, Bella_. Those lyrics said so many things I thought about her.

_**You don't have to believe me I'm just speaking my mind  
you look lovely as always you get that all the time  
you don't have to believe me when I tell you that I'm impressed  
but you sure better believe me when I say you deserve the best**_

After I cleared our dishes, I stood at the island with my hands braced on the side and my head down. I needed a moment to collect myself, needed strength for what I was about to do. I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

Realizing that I was truly in love had knocked me off into left field and I was completely content being lost there. Bella was home, so wandering around with her was all I needed. And she needed to hear all of that instead of me rambling in my head, alone in the kitchen.

I took a deep breath before shoving off of the counter top and grabbing my glass of wine. My bare feet padded lightly against the hard wood floors. I stopped in the doorway and watched Bella's beautiful frame. She was standing in front of the fireplace with her back to me, the fire giving her a soft glow. Her hips were swaying slightly to the music and I was momentarily entranced by her. She was perfect, standing before me, lost in her thoughts, in the music. Bella was breathtaking.

I walked up behind her after a minute or two, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her tightly to me. Bella's soft hair was hanging down her back so I used my free hand to brush it out of the way. She leaned back into me and I trailed my nose, whisper soft, up the column of her neck. My lips pressed gently to the spot just below her ear.

"Bella," I whispered. She turned around in my arms and wrapped her own around my neck. I rested my forehead against hers and took a deep breath to gain the courage for what I wanted to say.

Looking into her eyes, I began to tell her what my rambling thoughts had been screaming at me. "I know we've been together a short time, but I can't help the way I feel about you."

My arms tightened around her waist a little more as her eyes widened at my words. "Bella, I love you. I understand if it's too soon for you and you don't have to say anything. But I have to tell…"

My voice trailed off at the sight of her ear-to-ear smile. I hadn't scared her, hallelujah!

"Edward," she began. Her eyes were cast down at first, but when she looked up, there was something in them that I had never seen before. "I think that I love you too," Bella confessed quietly.

I picked her up and crashed my lips to hers. I couldn't have hoped for anything more, or anything that wonderful.

Bella's small, but strong legs wrapped themselves around me firmly, mashing her against me in the most perfect way. I was sure neither one of us could wait one more moment to show our love for each other. I turned and began walking out of the room before Bella pulled her lips from mine. I stopped and looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Um…I know that it's really cliché and all…" Bella's voice trailed off and she was looking down. She was adorable when she blushed, became shy.

"What, Bella?" I encouraged her. I pushed my forehead against hers to make her look at me. Finally, her eyes met mine.

"Do you think we could stay in here, with the fire? It's warm and just so, I don't know, perfect." I smiled at her and she took it the wrong way. "Oh I shouldn't have said anything! I'm such a loser," she cried and covered her face with her hands. I dropped her slowly to the floor and waited for her to get over her embarrassment. After waiting for a full minute, she still wasn't budging. I reached up and pried her hands away from her face and bent to look her in the eye.

"Bella, we can do whatever you want. That whole confession from a minute ago, I still mean that. I love you. Please don't be embarrassed to tell me what you want." I took her face in my hands and kissed her softly. I pulled back to make sure she understood and Bella nodded at me. "Then tell me, what do you want, Bella?"

She grasped my hand with her own and walked the both of us back over to the rug in front of my fireplace. Bella turned to face me and then slid slowly to the floor, taking me with her. I knelt before my beautiful girl before leaning over her and guiding her to the floor, melding my lips to hers. Bella's hands wrapped around my neck and wove into my hair. I caressed her side with my hand and then rested it on her hip. My other hand held her face to mine as my tongue explored her mouth and she returned the favor.

I hovered over Bella and my hands crept underneath her shirt, fingertips grazing over her stomach and sides. Her skin was so smooth and soft and I just wanted to look at her, all of her. My hands moved her shirt up and Bella arched her back up to aide me in my effort. When I freed Bella from the fabric, I ran my hands over her again. She took the hem of my shirt in her hands and sat up slightly to remove it. I went with her as she lied back down and our skin met. It was perfect, and I wanted more of it.

I wedged my hands under her back and quickly undid the clasp on her bra. I kissed down Bella's neck, licking and sucking along the way, as I pulled the straps down her arms and discarded the bra. My lips continued their journey of discovering her body and adorned her body with love. My tongue snaked out of my mouth and wrapped around her nipple, making it hard in my mouth. I massaged the sensitive nub with my tongue and bit down gently. Bella's moan reverberated in her chest and I could feel it on my lips. I was spurred on by her reaction and I moved to her other nipple, giving it the same attention. By now, Bella's fingers were tugging at my hair, causing me to moan against her skin.

I ran my lips down her body, over her stomach, and to the button on her jeans. My fingers worked quickly to undo the button and slide down the zipper before hooking into the sides of her jeans and panties and slipping them off her legs.

My eyes raked over Bella's body and I was captivated, awestruck, breathless, and an utter mess. She captured my heart with every breath she took and seeing all of her like this, vulnerable and open, made my heart still and my hands shake. I wasn't supposed to be nervous, but there it was.

"God you're beautiful," I whispered. Bella smiled shyly and her cheeks flushed and she looked away. My hand gently turned her face back towards me. "Please, Bella, look at me. You've made me so defenseless and so raw, and I need for you to see it, see me."

Bella nodded into my hand, turning her head slightly to kiss my palm. I lifted her leg to my shoulder and kissed from her ankle to her hip. Making the same trip up her other leg, I heard Bella sigh in contentment. She sat up and took my jeans in her hands.

"Lie down Edward," she directed. I followed her request and my back met the plush rug. Her tiny hands peeled my jeans and boxers from my body and then she brought her talented lips to my neck. Bella nipped at my skin; then she bit a little harder, inflicting delicious pain before soothing my skin with her velvet tongue. Delicate fingers traced over my chest and then the rest of her body followed. Her beautiful mouth descended on my waiting erection that begging for her to taste it. Soft warmth surrounded me and her tongue swirled around the tip of me. Bella's head began moving up and down gently and a moan slipped out of my mouth as my head fell back. Her hand was pumping me now and then her mouth joined it, working in tandem to drive me absolutely crazy.

I had been waiting so long to be with her in this way that I wasn't sure how much of her mouth I would be able to handle before embarrassing myself. I decided that now was enough and pulled her lips off of me gently with my hands. "Come up here," I said quietly, smiling at her.

Bella smiled back as she slipped into my arms and I began covering her face with simple and sweet kisses. I touched her eyelids, her nose, both cheeks, and finally lingered on her lips. Bella giggled, a song in my ears, as I rolled us over. Slowly, she spread her legs under me and I settled comfortably into the space she had made for me. As I kissed her deeply, my hand slipped between our slick bodies and into her warm folds. My fingers glided over her bundle of nerves and she shuddered beneath me.

"Edward," Bella breathed out. My name sounded like music when it fell breathlessly from her lips, beautiful music.

I nudged Bella's head to the side with my nose. I kissed her neck, sucking in various places, and then bit her ear lobe gently. Air was sucked quickly through her clenched teeth and it spurred me on. I moved down her body to give her proper attention, and maybe earn some more moans. I pushed her legs a little farther apart and bent down to drink her in. My tongue parted my lips and delved into her, settling on her clit. I slipped to fingers into her as my tongue worked and Bella's legs began closing around my head.

"Oh God, Edward. You make me….feel….so damn good." Bella struggled to speak between gasps for air. I smiled against her and curled my fingers inside of her, making her buck her hips towards my face. I used my free hand to hold her down, opened her up with my other, and thrust my tongue inside of her. Her moaning and gasping became more frantic. Finally, Bella began trembling, her legs clamping around me tightly as she came in my mouth. She was mouth-watering.

Bella stilled after a moment and began to catch her breath. "Damn," she whispered. I chuckled in response and moved over her once again. Her hand moved to wrap around the back of my neck and pulled my mouth forcefully to her own. I pulled back slightly to look in her eyes as I positioned myself at her entrance.

"I love you, Bella," I spoke in hushed tones. Bella smiled up at me and cupped the side of my face gently. I pushed into her, gasping slightly at the sensation of being fully sheathed by her. I stayed still for a moment, reveling in the feeling and both of us looking at the other with an immeasurable amount of passion.

Moving in Bella was better than any experience of my life, all experiences together really. There was something so sensual about our shared pushing and clutching, next to the clichéd fireplace, as she had called it. I don't care how it sounded, it was, by far, better than anything I had dreamed of since the first day I saw her.

Bella's breathing picked up at the same time as the rhythm of our hips increased. My arms slithered underneath her back and I held her tightly to me, settling my face into her neck. Bella's fingers pulled on my hair causing electricity to shoot through me with every tug.

"You feel so good, Bella, wrapped around me," I whispered into her skin.

"Harder please, Edward. I'm so close." Bella's words made me feel proud. I was causing this reaction in her.

"I want to feel you cum around me. Let go, Bella, let go." She unraveled in my arms, making the most amazing sounds, calling out my name.

Her muscles clamping around me brought me closer to my own climax, and her name left my mouth like a prayer, precious and delicate. A few final thrusts and I spilled into her, claiming the last piece of her as my own. I had been hers from that first kiss, but I felt like she had now given everything to me now, her whole self.

We continued to cling desperately to each other for the moments that followed our lovemaking.

I brought my head up and looked at her. "You are so beautiful. Nothing I have ever seen, or heard, or read, compares to the beauty you hold." I brushed a few strands of her off of her face and kissed her gently.

"Thank you for helping me find myself again, for making me feel beautiful, for….everything you have given me." Her smile was shy as she gazed up at me through her eyelashes.

"You deserve it, all of it, and so much more. I just wish I could have been here sooner. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

Her fingers trailed up and down my back and she looked thoughtful. "I think that all of that needed to happen, you know? I can appreciate you so much more now than I would have been able to and I am so lucky to have you. You saved me."

I kissed her again before asking, "Are you tired?"

"Maybe a little," she confessed with a small curve of her lips and half-lidded eyes.

I grudgingly pulled myself out of and off of her body, before picking her up and standing. I traveled down the hallway and through the door of my room before laying her on the bed with care. I climbed in next to her, covered us both, and curled up behind her, placing my hand on her hip. My nose nuzzled her neck and I placed small kisses behind her ear.

"I love you, my beautiful girl." I wanted that to be the last thing she heard before sleep overcame her.

"I love you too, Edward." Bella's voice was groggy in her reply. My arm wrapped around her waist and I pulled her back tightly against my stomach before drifting off in the best sleep of my life, thanking God for this wonderful gift.

_**Everyone has their obsession**_

_**Consuming thoughts, consuming time**_

_**They hold high their prized possession **_

_**That defines the meaning of their lives**_

_**You are mine**_

_**There are object of affection**_

_**That can mesmerize the soul**_

_**There is always one addiction**_

_**That just cannot be controlled**_

************

A/N: Sorry that this chapter took me a while! I have been a dark place lately and so it's hard to write mushy stuff when you're miserable. But I think it still came out good! Please leave reviews and let me know your thoughts. They would make me feel significantly better! Also, sorry this isn't as long as the last two chapters have been but there is a big something coming up next and it needed to end here.

Songs for this chapter are: "I Got A Feelin'" by Billy Currington and "You Are Mine" by Mute Math


	10. What Just Happened?

_**Stranded in this spooky town**_

_**Stop lights are swaying and the phone lines are down**_

_**Floor is crackling cold**_

_**She took my heart, I think she took my soul**_

_**With the moon I run**_

_**Far from the carnage of the fiery sun**_

_**And it's coming closer…**_

I woke up in the morning with a faint smile and the memory of how amazing the night before had been. _Bella loved me, too._

As I began coming out of the fog of sleep, I realized I was quite alone in my bed. I sat up halfway, looking around, trying to become coherent. Bella wasn't in bed and her clothes were gone. I felt awkward without her next to me. I listened for noise downstairs; maybe she was up making breakfast. I didn't hear a thing but the kitchen was a ways away so that didn't mean anything. I quickly threw on some sweatpants and trotted down my stairs. Seeing no sign of her beautiful face in the living room, I continued into the kitchen, where I was greeted with the dishes in the sink from the night before and not a single thing else.

_Well,_ I thought with a deep sigh,_ maybe she left to get something for breakfast and she'll be back._ I searched for a note on the counters, on the table by the front door, and then back up in my room. Not a damn thing. I sat down on the edge of my bed for a moment to process things. Bella had to be coming back or had a very good reason for disappearing.

After a few moments of convincing myself that these were the only valid options, I decided a shower would be best for soothing the tension I had caused myself. Taking a towel out of the linen closet, I shuffled into the bathroom and then tossed the towel over the shower door. I turned the water on full blast, hot, and as the bathroom began to steam up, I pushed the sweatpants down my legs and climbed in. The heat and steam calmed me considerably as I stood under the stream of water. I took my time running the soapy washcloth over my body. Maybe if I took enough time, she would be waiting for me when I exited the bathroom.

When the water ran cold I reluctantly turned off the faucet and felt an overwhelming sense of dread flood every part of me. I took several heavy breaths as I toweled off and walked to my closet. Bella wasn't waiting for me in the bedroom, but that didn't mean she wasn't somewhere else in the house. I put a pair of jeans and a t shirt before descending the stairs with much less enthusiasm than the last time. I wanted to hope, so badly, but a big part of me knew that I shouldn't

Traveling through the rooms, I lost my last shreds of that hope and began to worry. What if something had happened with her father and she had to rush off to help him? I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 10 o'clock. Charlie got off a few hours ago and God knows how long she had been gone. She might have had to go to him, and she was bearing that burden alone.

I ran back up to my room and grabbed my phone off the charger so that I could be there for Bella in case there had been trouble. Her phone rang two, three, four times before her beautiful voice came across the line, telling me to leave a message. Frustrated, I hit the end button and redialed. I didn't want to be annoying but I was really starting to worry and I needed to know she was okay.

This time when I called, the voice mail chimed in midway through the second ring. _She forwarded my call?_ What the hell was going on?

I decided another tactic needed to be tried and I dialed her house phone. Charlie picked up, making me feel slight relief that was quickly followed by confusion.

"Hello?" came the deep voice.

"Chief Swan, its Edward. Is Bella there? Can I talk to her?" My words came out hurried.

"Oh, Edward," Charlie's voice now sounded slightly uncomfortable. "I'm afraid Bella isn't here. She left about an hour ago."

"Left? Where did she go?"

"I'm not sure she wanted you to know that. I'm sorry Edward. She packed a bag and set off and I'm not sure when she'll be back. She'll call you when she's ready. Best give her some space." Charlie was somber as he delivered a verbal blow to my chest.

It took me a moment to find my voice. "Thanks, Charlie. I'll just…I need to go." I hung up before he could say anything else. I didn't want to hear his pity for me ooze through the phone. I felt dazed and I stumbled backwards until my legs came in contact with the bed and I collapsed onto it.

My mind tumbled around, searching for any clues that might lend themselves to solving this mystery. I ran over then events of the night, right down the last detail. Bella had uttered the words I wanted to hear, and it had sounded sincere. Her eyes reflected the same love that I knew must have been in my own. I know she enjoyed it all like I had. Nothing could help me even try to understand why she had run off. Maybe it had nothing to do with me….but then why wouldn't she want me to know? Wouldn't she have told me if something else was going on?

I sat on my bed, staring out the window, and hours passed, the sun drifting from one side of the sky to the other. A nagging ringing broke me out of my trance. When I realized it was my phone, I lunged toward the floor where I had dropped it earlier. I looked desperately at the screen only to find my sister's name instead of Bella's. I let it go to voicemail. I felt a little bad about it, but I really didn't want to fake happiness right, nor did I want to explain why I wasn't happy.

I felt like such a girl but couldn't bring myself to care too much. I was moping about a situation I didn't understand, which was highly unlike me. But I didn't know what to do with myself. Bella had an inexplicable hold on me and without her to anchor me, I was drowning. I felt utterly helpless, pathetic, and yet I didn't want any help. Wallowing sounded so much better for now. Sympathy coming from anyone would make everything worse and I knew Bella was the only who could've pulled me out of the dark well I was now residing in.

My phone chirped with a voicemail and I reluctantly put the speaker to my ear. Alice's voice beamed through the phone. "Hey Eddie! I guess you're busy writing your next best seller, or maybe romancing the socks off of Bella. I still need to meet her by the way! Anyway, I hadn't talked to you in a while a wanted to see how you were. Everything is just fine with me and the hubby. Call me soon, love you."

My heart dropped a little farther at the mention of Bella's name and how damn chipper Alice sounded. It wasn't her fault, she had no idea, but I couldn't help but be annoyed by my sister. _Perfect timing, Alice, _I thought, _way to rub it in_. I was being ridiculous and petulant. Considering recent events though, I decided it was not only allowable, but highly appropriate.

Finally the sun began to sink and as my room became tinted with orange hues, I rolled all of the way onto my bed and yanked the sheet up over myself. Pushing my face into the pillow, I was overwhelmed by Bella's scent and I groaned in desperation. My bed was tainted. I grabbed the other pillow, the Bella-free one, and trudged down to the guest room. I wasn't going to stay in that bed and have to smell her, remember her moans, or think so hard that I could feel her body against mine.

I shook my head to rid it of the vicious and traitorous thoughts before sliding underneath the sheet and blanket. I didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning, replaying the events that had taken place a mere 24 hours ago. I was still searching for an explanation and my brain refused to rest until it could make since of this debacle.

_**And it seems you've disappeared, though you're not that far away  
Please tell me it's not true, I didn't mean that much to you**_

And it's love and hate and all these emotions  
I never thought that you'd be going  
Now I'm just going through the motions  
Where everything is you, everything is you

What did I do wrong? Nothing, I treated you like an angel

******************

**BPOV**

My eyes fluttered open at an unnatural hour due to the horrendous dream that had plagued me. I hadn't had that dream in months, three to be exact. Not since I met Edward. But now, the night Edward and I had declared ourselves and cemented everything, the terrible images were back. Flashes of Mike behind his desk, pushing into his secretary, standing on my doorstep to beg for forgiveness, and my own hollow eyes staring back at me through the mirror ran through my mind like a slideshow, a very disturbing slideshow.

The room was still dark, I was covered in a cold sweat, and Edward's rhythmic breathing came from under my draped arm. I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, the green numbers indicating it was only 5:15 in the morning. I groaned quietly and rolled over onto my back, away from Edward's warm body. I was wide awake now, thanks to the memories, and I threw the covers back and gently sat up. I thought I was past all of this now. I looked over at Edward and different memories flooded my mind now. Edward's beautiful voice whispering adoration, how complete I felt when we were together, falling asleep in his arms, and they were all wonderful. That is, until my brain started mixing them with other thoughts and comparing them to a past relationship. Mike had been the only other person I had made love to, though I wouldn't call it that anymore. He took everything from me and made me think he loved me too.

With that, my mind began twisting Edward into something different. Yeah, okay, he said the three little words, and as great as it had been to hear them, didn't it feel that way last time too? He had made love to me tenderly, but again, wasn't it like that with Mike, too? My mind was muddled with sleep and I was confused. I wanted to trust Edward but I was suddenly feeling very scared that he would do the same horrible things to me. Who knows, I could come over one day and find a lace thong hidden in his sheets, and of course it wouldn't be my thong. My feelings began spinning out of control and I felt my breathing quicken. I couldn't handle this right now. I don't know what I was thinking because someone was always going to hurt me. I had been telling myself that I was just going to stay on my own, and then Edward showed up. I gave into his charms because honestly, who wouldn't? But I was out of the trance now and I had to get away from here before I wasn't able to and he ditched me instead. It didn't matter what things Edward had told me, it would all end the same, and I couldn't take it again.

I quickly and quietly got up from the bed, tip-toeing around the room and gathering my clothes. By now, I had been thinking for 45 minutes and the sun was beginning to creep up. I dressed as fast as I could, praying Edward wouldn't wake up. I made sure to keep up the silence as I gathered by things and shut the front door gently behind me before creeping down his front steps.

_Oh crap, _I thought. My truck was going to be loud no matter what. I took my chances anyways because what choice did I have? The door creaked as I eased it open and slid into the seat. There was a noisy roar when the engine turned over and I left as quickly as my truck would allow. I made it home by 6:30, just before Charlie could get home. I ran inside, throwing stuff in a bag so that I could get out of town. Essentials and a few changes of clothes were tossed around as I jogged back downstairs and dropped the bag off by the front door. I went into the kitchen and got Charlie's breakfast started. He needed one good meal before I abandoned him for a while.

I kept my hands busy as I cracked eggs into the frying pan and threw bread into the toaster, pulling the lever down to burn the slices, just how Charlie liked them. I didn't stay still because I didn't want to think about all of the horrible things that had happened and the repeat I was headed for. The toast popped up and the front door opened.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie called out. "Do I smell my favorite?"

I smiled a little at his question. "Hey, Dad, you sure do. Do you want to eat in here or in front of the TV?"

Charlie walked into the kitchen. "Are you going to eat?"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm not really hungry."

"Alright, well I guess in with the TV."

After plating his food, I put on my best smile and handed Charlie his breakfast. The look in his eyes told me I wasn't fooling him, but I could only do so much when I knew my own eyes would be off.

"Bells, what's wrong?" Charlie asked as he followed me out of the kitchen and through the living room. I turned around to face him and saw his eyes drift over to the bag by the door. "And where are you going?"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment before answering him. "Look, I need a break from things. I'm going to go see Jake for a bit, clear my head."

Charlie's eyes widened at my omission. "Did Edward do something to you? You look like you did when…" Charlie's voice trailed off as he thought better of bringing up what had become an unmentionable around me. "Well you don't look like yourself is all."

"No he didn't do anything. But I don't want him to either. I just need to think for a while, far away from the reminders of this place." I just stood there, hoping he would understand and not question me anymore.

"Okay, at least I know you'll be in good hands with Jake. When are you leaving?"

I looked at down at myself, _gross_. "Well, I need a shower. I didn't think about that before I packed. I guess whenever I'm done with that. I'll call Jake from the road."

He looked at me as though he didn't approve but he nodded his head anyway and moved to sit down on the couch with his food.

Grabbing my bag, I climbed the stairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I avoided the mirror, afraid of what I would find there, and was thankful when the steam from the shower covered the piece of glass. The shower was calming, which was nice at first. But then my thoughts went back to this morning and I felt panicky again. I ended my shower rather abruptly.

After drying off, I wrapped the towel around myself and threw my hair up in a messy bun. I went to my room and put on the first clean thing I found, anxiousness was taking over. I needed to get out. I grabbed my stuff again and went to say goodbye to Charlie.

"Okay, I'm all set." I gave Charlie a brief hug and a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Be careful and let me know when you get there." Charlie looked a little sad and I wished I didn't have to make him worry.

"Will do, Dad. I love you," I said, waving to him from the threshold of the house.

"You too, Bells." That was about the most I ever got out of Charlie. I hopped back in my creaky truck and felt a little relief as I realized I was going to make it out of town with no trouble from Edward. I quickly maneuvered through town before getting onto the high way and heading for California. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. _Wow, 9 alread_y.

I dialed Jake to beg for help from an old friend. On the third ring he picked up and he sounded groggy, "Hello?"

"Hey Jake, it's me. I'm really sorry if I'm waking you but I really need your help right now."

I heard rustling over the line and assumed he was sitting up in bed. A cough resounded from the speaker before Jake spoke, sounding much more alert. "What's wrong?" His tone was so concerned, bless him.

"I just needed to get away from everything. Would you mind if I came to stay for a few days?"

"Of course you can, Bells. Did Edward do something? Because I threatened him and I have no problem following through. Just say the word and I'll…"

I cut him off before he could get too worked up. "No, no, no, it is nothing that he's done. Not yet, anyway. This one is all me. I just have to get out of Forks. I'm already on my way so I guess I'll see you tonight."

"If you say so. Alright, well I'm going back to be for a little bit then. I'll see you when you get here, call me if you need some help staying awake." Jake was already yawning and I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Talk to you later, sleepyhead." I was still laughing as we both said goodbye. The silence in the cab of the truck caught up with me though and soon I was restless again. I turned on an oldies station, thanking God that my radio still worked. Oldies always put me in a good mood.

About an hour into my drive, my phone started vibrating on the seat. I looked down at it and my breath caught in my throat. I knew he would call, of course he would. I just hadn't decided what to do about it. I ignored it and hoped that would be it. Thirty seconds later it was vibrating again, blinking Edward's name up at me from the cracked vinyl. This time I hit the button to forward it to voicemail and prayed he got the message.

I drove on, singing loudly to the radio to drown out my thoughts. I stopped for food finally because my stomach was revolting against me. I used the restroom and got gas. Feeling refreshed, I returned to my truck and I was slightly mollified with the fact that Edward had left me alone. My irrational side told me he had given up on me already because I wasn't worth the trouble. Well, that was fine, it was easier that way. But I also wanted him to keep calling, if only in a small way. I wanted, almost needed, to know that he wouldn't just let go of me that easily. I wanted him to prove that he felt more for me than Mike ever did.

But if I really believed that, I wouldn't have left. This was all so confusing and conflicting. I should have never let myself get into this mess, even if I was the one making it into a mess in the first place. But what could I possibly do at this point? My heart wanted nothing more than to be back in that bed with Edward but my brain new so much better than my heart. My head had the memory of being screwed over and wouldn't stop bringing it up, though my heart had long forgotten the trouble Mike had caused me. Edward had healed my heart, almost replacing it with a new one that was solely his. But I just couldn't rationalize that.

After what felt like days of driving, I pulled up to Jacob's apartment building. I could see his car a few spots down and smiled at the instant comfort it brought me. I rested my head on the steering wheel for a moment and suddenly felt I might pass out from exhaustion. I hadn't slept much last night, and not well either. I needed a bed, now.

I shoved my door open and drug myself out of the cab, pulling my bag with me. Staring at the stairs of his building with disdain, I heaved myself up them, one horrible step after another. Why did he have to live on the third level? Reaching the top of the stairs, I knocked a few times and waited, my eyelids drifting downward of their own accord.

The door flew open and an entirely too happy Jacob greeted me. His smile was huge and he gave me a crushing hug.

"Bells! How is my best friend, huh?" Jacob's voice boomed in my ear and I suddenly felt awake again. _Fantastic_, I thought, _just what I needed_. I suppose I shouldn't blame him for trying to make me better.

I knew my voice sounded pathetic but I just couldn't do any better right now. "Hey, Jake, I'm alive. Thank you so much for letting me crash here for a bit. I'm really wiped from the trip so if it's okay, I think I'm just going to pass out on the couch now." I gave him the best smile I could manage, because I could feel myself sinking, on an emotional level, more and more by the second.

"Of course sweetie. But you're taking my bed, and please don't argue. I already changed the sheets for you and everything. You know I don't ever let you sleep on the damn couch anyways." Jacob smiled at me but I could see the worry in his eyes.

Despite myself, I felt my own lips curve up just a little more at how wonderful he was and how lucky I was to have a friend like this. "I'm too tired to protest. I'll see you in the morning."

Jacob simply nodded at me, gave me a small squeeze and let me go. I shut the door to his room quietly, dropped my bag and my jacket, kicked off my shoes, and collapsed on his bed. Alone in the silence, my thoughts drifted back to Forks, and Edward. My heart sunk a little thinking about how he had let me leave so easily; two phone calls and I didn't matter anymore. Or maybe I was just being paranoid. He could have talked to Charlie and decided it was no use to keep calling someone who wasn't going to answer. I felt bad for up and leaving him like that, no explanation, but I couldn't face the enormity of it all right now.

I don't remember falling asleep. I only know it was very deep sleep. So deep that I didn't have a single dream and I was out longer than could possibly be healthy.

_**I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none**_

There were sounds in my head  
Little voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening

***********************

**A/N: *waves white flag to surrender* Please don't kill me, please. It'll get better, scouts honor. But there had to be an obstacle. Otherwise, why read?? Let me know your thoughts please! I love feedback! A lot of you have me on alerts so I would really like to hear what you think and what you like. Also what you don't like so that I can fix any problems. **

**Also, let me know how I did with BPOV. Sorry to those of you who really liked that I did his POV only. I had to use hers to make the story flow. She'll only be around a few chapters. **

**One last thing, I have all of the songs listed on my profile now if you like any of the lyrics and want to remember or whatnot. **

**Songs for this chapter: "Closer" by Kings of Leon, "Everything is You" by Eli Young Band, "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins**


	11. Figuring It Out

_**When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The waking up is the hardest part  
You roll outta bed and down on your knees  
And for the moment you can hardly breathe  
Wondering was she really here?  
Is she standing in my room?  
No she's not, 'cause she's gone**_

My eyes weren't open yet but I was awake, and damnit I didn't want to be. Being awake meant dealing with everything that happened yesterday and I was beyond not ready for that. I groaned in an involuntary fashion before rolling over. It was at that point I promptly remembered I was in the guest bedroom, not my own bed, and I hit the hard wood floor on my hands and knees. _Son-of-a-bitch_, I sighed, felt the fissure in my heart crack a little more and crumpled to the floor.

I had done so well yesterday, why did I have to start this now. My defenses had given up on me and now there was salt water, pouring out of my eyes, across my face, and dripping onto the floor. After a few minutes of self-pity, I became rather angry with myself. I pushed away the tears and took a long and slow breath. My palm came in contact with the floor, making a loud _smack_ that echoed in the small room. _Pull yourself together, Cullen_. As much as I wanted to do just that, my heart was screaming at me in agony and just couldn't make myself do it. You can't make yourself do something when you have absolutely no will.

I went through my day, motion after motion. I ate though I wasn't hungry, took a shower though I didn't give a shit, watched TV without actually seeing anything, and went to bed at an absurdly early time because that was all I really wanted. Well, it was all I wanted that I was going to be lucky enough to get.

My days continued on in this fashion, monotonous and pointless. The missed phone calls and messages were stacking up and Alice was threatening to send a search party if someone hadn't heard from me by the end of the day. Despite everything, I loved my family and they surely didn't need to see me in this state. I would just call Alice, lie a little about how busy I had been with a book and how great life with Bel…

Well maybe I could leave her out of it.

I finally called Alice. I listened to it ring as I flopped onto the couch and waited for tongue-lashing I was about to get.

"Edward, you live. Where the hell have you been?! I called you 4 days ago and you just now have a chance to let me know you haven't been killed by some small town psychopath? I can't believe the nerve of you! Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" This is why I didn't want to call. I could hear Alice breathing heavily through the phone and I sighed.

"Yes, Alice, I'm alive. I'm sorry I haven't called you before now but I have been so busy. My new book is really coming along and I have barely been able to steel myself from my computer for food, let alone phone calls. I shouldn't have neglected you for this long. I swear, it won't happen again." I tried so hard to sound sincere, chipper, excited about the fake new book, anything but the hollow mess I knew I was. Sadly, my sister knows me better than should be allowed and, therefore, wasn't going to have any of my bullshit.

"Why do you sound dead, Edward? What is really going on? Do I have to come up there and kill someone for you?" Alice tried, she really did, but she just wasn't scary.

I chuckled darkly, "No Alice, there is no one for you to maim, so sorry to disappoint."

I heard her laugh for a second too but then she went right back to the shit I didn't want to think about. "What's going on with you, huh? This isn't like you and you sure don't sound like you."

"Alice, I appreciate your concern, really, but I don't, in any way, want to talk about my shit-hole life right now. I'm just……"

"No, no, no, no," she cut me off. "You will not wallow, sorry. You know that crap doesn't fly with me. Did something happen with Bella?"

There was a quick and sharp inhale from me that gave it all away. "Of course it did. Why didn't I see that before now? Oh Edward, what happened? Things were so wonderful the last time I talked to you."

"I know Alice, I know. I honestly don't know what the hell happened. Everything _was _great. But now, now it's just a clusterfuck and I don't know what to think." My words came out a little hurried but it felt so good to talk to someone else about this instead of myself.

"Start at the beginning. Last thing I heard was that you all were having dinner and you thought it was time to tell her how you felt." Alice's voice soothed and I felt myself relax slightly. What would I do without Alice?

"That was the plan alright. I did, I told her I loved her, because I do, like nothing else in this world. She said she loved me too, and everything was just how it should have been. We confessed, we showed, and it was amazing, like nothing I have ever known, Alice. I woke up in the morning with a ridiculous smile on my face, so happy with where things were going and she was just…gone. I waited for her, searched for a note, and nothing. Finally, I called Charlie because she wasn't answering her phone and he told me she was gone. Wouldn't say where or how long and I hung before I had to listen to anything else. She just left, Alice! I don't know why, what could have possibly happened. I watched her all that night, for any sign that it wasn't what she wanted or really felt, because I know the past she has. But she was right there with me the whole time. I knew that what I saw in her she was seeing in me and it was right."

I knew I was rambling but I couldn't really stop once I had gotten started. I looked down and saw my hand was shaking, my chest was heaving, and I felt suddenly overwhelmed. Until now it had just been sadness, all-consuming sadness. But now, there were strong emotions coming from every direction and I didn't know how to feel.

"Well, from what you are saying, I'm confused too. I don't know why she would have just disappeared like that if she was okay before-hand. Unless maybe it all became too much for her, like she wasn't sure about how she felt. That's no reason to run off though. I'm so sorry Edward. I know it has to be hard on you. Look, if I move some stuff I can catch a flight up there. Do you want some company?"

"No, but thank you. I just want some time to figure this out on my own. I won't be able to sort through anything if someone else is around. I appreciate it though, really. I'm sorry it took so long to call, I just didn't want to admit out loud that this is what was going on." It felt a little good to lay everything out like that, and for someone else to know the war I was waging with myself about how pathetic I was being.

"Okay, but if you decide you need me, just call. I have to go, work crap. Keep me posted though. I would like to know what she has to say for herself, hurting my brother like this. Maybe I don't want to meet her." Alice huffed and I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Alright, alright. Thanks for talking, it helped. I'll talk to you soon. Bye, Alice."

"Bye, Edward."

I shut my phone, dropping it onto the cushions beside me. Looking around at the mess in my living room, I scrubbed my face with my hands and heaved myself off of the couch. I went to my stereo for a dose of my favorite drug. I don't know why I hadn't been listening to music because it was where I always turned when something happened, good or bad. Music helped me identify, deal, and move on, which I could desperately use right now. My IPod usually knew what I needed, even when I didn't, so I put it on shuffle and began cleaning up.

As I folded blankets and took dishes to the kitchen, I thought hard about the song coming from my speakers. I finally figured out where I was, what I was feeling, thanks to a musical shove in the right direction. Like I said, it knew what I needed.

I grasped the angry lyrics, beats, and chords, identifying and relishing it in. I started to sing along and before I knew it, the rooms of my house were filled with the generally pissed off feeling that was pouring out of me like a waterfall now.

I mean, what the hell was her problem anyways? I hadn't done a damn thing wrong with her. I held back, made sure she was okay, listened. I had done it all, just the way she wanted. All I got back was a cut and run without any kind of explanation. I felt a little used and a lot betrayed. Alice was right, and in the words of Ricky Ricardo, Bella had a lot of explaining to do. Damn her, for everything. I fell into her trap, in love, and was now royally screwed. No one wants to be left bleeding on their own, but I certainly wasn't going to stay down on the floor, waiting for her.

After I cleaned the kitchen and living room, I went upstairs to take a very hot shower and got dressed. In a very melodramatic fashion, I stared down my bed and vowed to sleep in it tonight. I grabbed my keys off the dresser, flew down the stairs, and went for a drive. There is nothing like speeding to intensify and get rid of the angst.

_**You take the breath right out of me.  
You left a hole where my heart should be.  
You got to fight just to make it through,  
'cause I will be the death of you.  
This will be all over soon.  
Pour salt into the open wound.  
Is it over yet? Let me in.  
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.  
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.  
I'm going all the way, get away, please.**_

*********************************************************************

**BPOV**

The first night at Jacob's I didn't dream. I may as well have though, the crazy images my brain conjured up before I actually went to sleep. Edward was there, before me, adoring me with his hands and eyes, so full of love that I could barely stand to look at him. Slowly but surely his beautiful face and form would morph into the evil of Mike, fucking his bitch secretary. It ran through my head on repeat and I couldn't make it stop. It was the worst nightmare possible and it was just there, taunting me, reminding me of how stupid I had been to trust anyone, ever again after Mike. When sleep finally came, my mind was thankfully blank.

I woke up the next day with the distinct feeling that I had been asleep for entirely too long. I stretched my arms above my head and realized how stiff I was. I was in the car for so long yesterday and I was so drained emotionally that I had basically died when I went to sleep. I laid there for a moment, remembering the horrible images from the night before and I wanted to cry. My emotions were bubbling up from my chest and threatening to spill out through my eyes. I sighed and sat up.

My eyes lifted to the door of Jacob's room and there was Jacob, looking at me with a worried gaze. "Hey, I thought I heard you moving around in here. How are you feeling?" His voice was soft and concerned.

A sad smile worked itself into my features as I looked around the room, anywhere but his eyes. He meant well, but that slight tinge of pity in his eyes made me want to scream. I got myself into it this time. "I'm alive. What time is it?"

A huge grin spread across his face. "Well, really it's a good thing you woke up now, because I was just about to call the cops, thought you might have died in your sleep. It's two. You slept for about 15 hours, Bells. I didn't know you still had it in you!"

I had to laugh a little at his comments. "Damn, I didn't either. I don't think I've slept like that since high school. That would explain why I feel like the tin man though. Everything hurts." I yawned and rolled my head around a few times, trying to loosen up my neck.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"Starved. Do you actually have food in this place or am I going to be the fast food queen while I'm here?" It was so easy to be normal with him. I didn't want to think about anything else so I just focused on his happy face.

"Bells," he shook his head. "You underestimate me. How does eggs and bacon sound? Maybe a little O.J.?"

"Sounds flipping brilliant. I am so proud Jake, cooking real meals. What's next, Martha Stewart curtains?" I kept up the teasing, loving the distraction and comfort it offered.

"Yeah yeah Bells, laugh it up. Just remember I'm the one cooking, so maybe you should shut it before I spit in your eggs." Jake offered me his hand and dragged me off the bed. He hugged me tightly and I sighed into his chest. "Go take a shower, you'll feel better. You can eat when you get done."

"Okay, thanks Jake." He turned to go to the kitchen and I rummaged through my bag. I grabbed my toiletries and clean clothes before locking myself in the bathroom. I turned slowly from the door to look at myself in the mirror and was met with a Bella I hadn't seen in quite a while. My eyes were puffy and lined with red. I had cried in my sleep, how pathetic. I guess I did dream, I just don't remember them, which is probably for the best. My hair was a knotted mess, half out of its ponytail, and my clothes were rumpled since I hadn't bothered to change.

I showered and put my hair up, brushed my teeth and dressed, and emerged from the bathroom in a small cloud of steam, left over from a very hot shower. My muscles felt incredibly relaxed now.

I walked towards the smell of bacon and found Jacob whistling quietly to himself and putting my breakfast on a plate.

"It smells wonderful Jake, thanks," I said, taking the plate from him.

"Not a problem, Bells. Just sit at the counter there. I'm going to clean up."

I watched him move through the tiny kitchen, washing dishes and wiping down the counters. It was so strange to watch him like this. Strange, but really nice to see how great he was doing on his own.

After I ate, Jacob put away my dishes and turned to me, hands on the counter and leaning towards me.

"So Bells, you avoided me last night and I let you sleep. Why are you here?" Jacob's eyes were serious and boring into me. I felt hugely uncomfortable.

"Wow, getting right down to the point," I tried to joke. He was still giving me the serious stare. "Jacob, I don't want to talk about it. I really don't. Can't you just distract me for a while?" I was pleading with him, my voice sounding slightly childish.

He stared at me for a few more moments before sighing, closing his eyes, and shaking his head. "For now, I'm going to humor you. But this shit won't fly with me for long, Bella. You will talk to me about whatever it is that made you run here." His gaze was back on me and was more intense than before. "Got it?"

I sighed heavily and nodded, though I was dreading the impending conversation. I'm not sure anyone would understand what I had done, so why would I want to tell him? "Okay, Jake. Okay. Can we just do something else now. I just can't think about it right now."

"Sure. What sounds like Bella's idea of the most awesome day ever?" His grin was huge, teeth flashing at me. Who could resist that smile?

"Really, I just want to hang out with you. We can watch movies and eat popcorn and ice cream." Jacob's eyes were skeptical as I spoke. "Please?" My smile was way over the top, total cheese. But it was working oh so nicely.

"Fine," he conceded, eyes rolling. "No sappy chick flicks though. I might have to shoot myself."

I laughed with him and shook my head. "I'm thinking….blood and guts, a good scare. Sound good?"

Jacob gladly obliged and we spent the whole day on the couch, making fun of the stupid horror films and mindless action movies. The next day we went out to the beach, walking around. He told me about school, his part time job, and the new friends he was making. It was great! No mention of my life, or how I'd run scared from Edward. I thought I might just get off the hook.

Sadly, I was very wrong. After dinner, Jacob and I were staring mindlessly at the television, my mind was lost in dream land when I realized the TV had been turned off and Jacob was staring at me with a worried expression.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Bella, I've let you skip around the issue for two days, even though I saw how dead you were when you got here the other night. What the hell is going on, Bells? I can't take seeing that absent stare anymore." Jacob looked like he was in pain as he pleaded for my confession. I couldn't avoid it anymore.

"I was running," I began quietly, my eyes locked on my lap. "I am so scared Jake, I just can't handle it. I can't trust him because he'll just do what Mike did. I am not special enough to hold his attention forever. I'm just the small town diner girl, plain and simple. Something more interesting and beautiful will capture his attention eventually. Why put myself through that again? I was stupid to start this whole thing anyways. It was never going to be anything different. I've just been delusional, thinking that things with him would ever work out."

When I finally dragged my line of sight up to match Jacob's, I was taken aback. His eyes were furious and I couldn't help but lean away from him a little bit.

"Bella Swan, you're lucky you're a girl! I would have slapped you otherwise. Are you insane? Even my stupid ass saw how he looked at you when I was there! That man loves you; sees no one but you. Mike was never like that, sorry to say. I think you need to go beg for forgiveness at this point. I would be so pissed right now if I were him. How did you leave things? Does he at least know where you are?" Jake's voice was loud and threatening. If I didn't know him as well as I did, I would have been scared.

"No he doesn't know where I am." I was staring at my lap again, picking a thread on my jeans. It was easier to admit my mistake if I could pretend Jacob wasn't there. "We had dinner at his house the night before I came here. Everything was fine, great actually. He told me he loved me. Hearing him say that made me admit the feelings I was ignoring. We….we made love, and it was like nothing I have ever experienced." Tears were running down my face now and Jacob's large form was blurry when I looked up at him. "Jake, I was so happy when I woke up. I was smiling so hard."

I started shaking as everything crashed down on me and Jacob pulled me into his lap, running a soothing hand over my hair.

"Bells, I know you are scared. I get it. But he loves you so much. He and I talked that day in the car, and love poured out of him with every word he spoke, adoration for you. You gotta fix this. He's everything you need. I can see that even if you can't."

My thoughts were going a mile a minute with the things he had said to me. I thought back to how Edward's eyes followed my movements, the look in his eyes when he said he loved me. I remembered how careful he was with every touch and caress. I had been blind all of this time. The care in every movement and look were things I had never seen with Mike, nothing close. Of course Jacob was right. I was stupid.

I calmed enough to speak finally and looked up at Jacob. "You're so right Jake." I wiped my eyes frantically, harshly, and shot off of his lap. He followed behind me as I ran to his room and started throwing my things into my bag.

"Bella, I am glad you see the light, but its ten o'clock at night. I can't let you make that long of a drive back without sleep. You'll fall asleep and get hurt. Charlie would have my head if he found out that I let you do that. You can stay one more night, get a good night's rest, and leave first thing in the morning." Jacob looked serious, almost like my father, as I watched him out of the corner of my eye. Also, just like with my father, I wasn't going to listen.

"Jacob," I began, zipping up my bag. "I am going, now. I won't be able to sleep now anyway. He's probably so mad at me and I can't let it go any longer. He has to know that I love him and that I am so sorry, that I can't live without him." I smiled at my own revelation as I stood before Jacob, bag in hand.

His head was shaking though. He still didn't want me to leave. Well, that was just too damn bad!

"Move, Jake, I'm going whether you want me to or not." I pushed past him and went straight for the door. His hand landed on top of mine on the door and I turned to look at him. He looked a little scared.

"You promise me that you will stop if you get too tired, call me when you need me. I don't care if you wake me up. And you let me know when you get there. Okay?" He was serious and in control, and I just couldn't find my voice. I nodded at him and he released my hand, allowing me to open the door.

At the door of my truck, I turned to thank him. "Jacob, I love you. You're the best friend I never could have dreamed of. Thank you for opening my eyes, and for dealing with my stupidity."

His huge grin was back and I threw my arms around his neck. "Go back to loverboy. I'm sure he's going crazy without you."

I hopped in my truck, turning on my oldies, and started my long journey back. I knew I wouldn't need to stop or call because I was bursting with excitement at the prospect of my life to come, the one with Edward. I just had to get him back. I spent the drive singing my heart out and coming up with a plan to grovel. Here's hopin'!

_**Y**__**ou and your ways  
Capture what I've misplaced  
In the perfect fashion  
Just watch my heart's reaction  
This point of view  
Is nothing that I'm used to, but I  
Won't close my eyes  
'Cause they're on to you  
And all this time,  
It was staring me blind  
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before**_


	12. Homecoming

_**I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
Did you take off while I was gone?  
I missed it all, I messed you up, I missed you  
I'm coming home, I wanna know  
When all the leaves begin to fall  
If I'm falling, falling apart for you  
Descending, I'm spinning  
Lost all defense  
How could you swallow me again?  
I left you, I meant to  
Couldn't let you in  
Never mind a single word I said**_

**BPOV**

About an hour outside of Forks the happiness and excitement began drowning in a sea of worry. How was I going to do this? He'd be out of his damn mind to welcome me back with open arms after I ditched him like that. I hadn't meant to cause him pain, I just freaked. It still wasn't right, what I had done.

I absent-mindedly started chewing on my nails, trying to figure out a game plan. I was going straight to his house, that's for sure. I couldn't care less how much of a mess I looked. I needed to do this as soon as possible. I couldn't waste another second of his time, making him think I just didn't care about him. After everything he had done for me, damn I was stupid.

Everything I thought of sounded stupid, unbelievable, or just plain pathetic. Not pathetic in a way that would make him take me back either. No, it was more like he would laugh his ass off and slam the door in my face. _Shit._

I pulled up in front of his house and shut off the engine. I looked at the vast home, smiling to myself of all the happy memories it held and the person it held, the love of my life. I sighed heavily, ran my hands over my face a couple of times, and swung the door open to my truck. The awful creak of the metal scared me and I was startled when I realized it was raining. I had been so out of it that I didn't really register anything around me.

I slammed the door to the truck and when I turned towards the house I stopped, my breath catching. Edward was there at the top of the porch steps with an unreadable expression on his face. That could be good or bad. He confessed his love to me less than a week ago, so surely he wasn't over me already. What had I done? He looked so blank and it hurt me more than I can say.

I walked forward, not caring that I was getting drenched, and looked up at him from the bottom of the stairs. "Edward, I..."

****************************************

**EPOV**

_**Woke up and wished that I was dead  
With an aching in my head  
I lay motionless in bed  
I thought of you and where you'd gone  
and let the world spin madly on**_

I woke up at a decent hour for the first time in days. I was back in my bed last night, which felt good physically but made my heart ache dully. Bella's body draped over mine flashed before my eyes and I flinched unconsciously. Time to get up because there was no sense in torturing myself.

The world had moved on without me these last few days and it was time to rejoin the masses.

I decided to actually be productive today. Keeping yourself busy in situations like this was the key to survival. I mowed the lawn since it had been dry lately, pulled weeds. It was nice to do mundane tasks. My mind was focused, not straying to the rough waters I was trying so desperately not to get sucked into again.

I went inside to shower, having worked up a good sweat in the yard. My tense muscles relaxed under the hot stream and I considered what to do for lunch. I actually wanted to eat today, imagine that. As I was pulling on my jeans, I heard the rumble of a rough engine outside of my house. _What the hell was that?_ I live in the middle of nowhere so it's not like someone could just be passing by. I guess Alice could have come anyway, but that car was really loud. No rental would sound that pathetic.

I moved to go down the stairs, pulling on a shirt as I went, and the engine noise died. Now I was really curious. As my foot hit the bottom step, I heard a familiar rusty creak and I froze. I hadn't realized it before for whatever reason, numb brain I guess, but that just had to be her. It had to be Bella. My heart gave a loud thump in my chest as it picked up a wild pace. Could it really be her? Did I want it to be her?

I flung open the front door to see that it had started to rain as Bella closed the door to her truck. She stopped when she saw me at the top of the steps, before moving towards me. We stood staring at one another for a few moments. She looked scared but hopeful. Without a mirror I couldn't tell you what I looked like. My emotions were battling between angry and surprised and I don't know what won out. I wasn't sure what to do so I just waited for her to talk.

Bella's voice finally broke through the repetitive sound of the rain hitting the ground and roof.

"Edward, I...I don't know how to start, where to start." Her eyes moved to the ground as she took a deep and shaky breath. I waited, rooted to the spot, speechless with her sudden appearance. Finally she looked back up at me before continuing.

"I'm so sorry for disappearing like that. I don't know what I could possibly say or do to make up for my mistake. You deserve more, so much more."

Bella's eyes closed for a second and tears joined the rain that was streaking down her face.

"God I didn't want to be like this!" Her voice was angry and her hands started flailing as she continued to explain herself. "I ran because I was scared. I should have told you I needed some time, you would have understood, I know. But I wasn't thinking straight. My mind was making up horrible things and I had convinced myself that you weren't ever going to love me enough to stick around. Something new and shiny would catch your attention and I just wouldn't be good enough anymore." She was shaking her head by now and her words were coming as fast as she could speak, but she was breaking my heart even more as she stood there.

How could she have believed I would be like Mike? Hadn't I done everything she wanted? I felt my own anger taking control as she continued.

"I can't believe I ever thought that about you of all people. I knew better. You are so much more than I deserve and my mind was trying to convince my heart of that. I am so sorry that I hurt you when you have done nothing but be perfect. I almost slapped myself with realization when I figured out stupid I was being. I just...."

Bella's voice trailed off as I turned my back on her. I had heard enough and I was shaking with anger. I know she has issues, but this was just wrong. Her reasoning wasn't enough to console me, take away the damage she had done to me. I shut my front door in one calm motion, betraying what my body really wanted to do. I stood there for a moment, thinking over her words and becoming more enraged by the second.

I allowed the pain to consume me and I turned and beat my fists against the large wooden door. I slowed when my hands began to ache and a tearless sob wracked my body. Pushing violently against the door, I stumbled back to the stairs and collapsed there. My hands were buried in my hair and I just sat.

I could feel the numbness taking over again and I'm not sure how long I sat there. I never heard the sound of Bella's truck door, or the engine bellowing in protest of starting. That meant she was still out there in the rain and I couldn't just let her stand outside.

Shaking my head at my own actions, I heaved myself up off of the steps and opened the door slowly. Bella's position mirrored my own previous one as she sat perched on the bottom steps of my porch. Her shoulders were shaking though and I heard a muffled cry come from her. My spirits crumpled a little more and then I mentally kicked myself for having pity on her.

I walked up behind her quietly and placed a hand on her shoulder. Bella jumped slightly and her head shot around to look at me. The beautiful brown of her eyes was muddled and outlined with red. I hated seeing her like this, even if it was her own fault.

I pulled my hand back before I let my guard down any further. "Come inside," I instructed in a disconnected voice. "You'll get sick if you stay out here."

Bella's hands rubbed furiously at her eyes for a moment as she scrambled to get up and follow me into the house. I went straight up the stairs and she followed me silently.

I lead her through my bedroom and into the master bath, grabbing a towel on the way. Going into my closet, I took out shorts and a shirt. I returned to Bella, who was wearing a confused look, and gave her the items before finally breaking the silence.

"Dry off and change," I instructed. "We can put your clothes in the dryer when you're done. I'll be downstairs." I left the bathroom, not waiting for her to respond, and kept an empty expression on my face. I may have felt bad and let her in but I was still pissed at her.

I sat down in my kitchen waiting for her in the spot I had once wanted to be with her all of the time; the island. Bella moved around silently upstairs which allowed me some uninterrupted time to think. I needed to gather my thoughts before I could speak to her and it all come across the right way. I had been quiet about everything until now, reigning myself in. I had let Bella have her say, explain herself, and now it was my turn. She needed to know what she had done to me, how angry I was.

The shock and overall calm I was parading was wearing off quickly now and my blood began boiling just under the surface of my skin. I heard the soft thuds as she came down the stairs and the shuffling of her feet across the hardwood floor when she approached the kitchen.

Bella sat opposite of me, her long hair hung limply around her face and her eyes were dull. Noticing that her fire was gone only made me angrier. She had killed both of us and for what? All because it had been easier to run. I shook my head slightly at my thoughts as I gathered my hands in front of me.

I studied my hands for a moment. "Bella," my voice was low and I could hear the fury seeping into my tone. I took another moment to breathe because I didn't want to yell and scare her. She needed to hear what I was going to tell her, not block me out because I was overbearing.

"You left without so much as a damn word. I looked for a note, waited for a phone call, anything really. You ignored my phone calls and your father had to finally be the one to tell me that you took off. God, you should have heard the pity in that man's voice when he broke the news to me. It made me feel so pathetic." My voice was louder now and I was leaning over the table towards her. The look of a scared child was entering her eyes, which I didn't want, so I leaned away from her slowly.

I sat for a minute just looking at her and I felt my anger deflate by a fraction. My brow creased and I suddenly became sad and tired. My voice cracked as I began talking again.

"I told you I loved you and you said it back. It all went so much better than I thought it would." I got lost in my thoughts of that perfect night. My anger broke through the daydream though and I continued. "Then you were gone. You ripped my damn heart out, ran away with it, and left a mess behind you. I'm not going to lie to you, Bella, I was a complete wreck. The house turned into a dump and I looked like hell. Then, I got angry. This was entirely your fault and I really had no reason to feel bad. So I can't just say 'Okay, I forgive you' and everything be alright. It's just not that easy." I was worked up from my speech so I breathed in deep and tried to calm myself.

I went back to watching her, studying just how much of a mess she was. Even with the bloodshot eyes and wet and limp hair, she was the most beautiful thing in my world. In that instant, I wanted to reach out and brush her cheek with my fingers, make her blush, but it would have ruined everything I had just said.

"I can say I'm sorry a thousand times a day for the rest of forever and it wouldn't be enough. But it's all I've got." Suddenly, Bella's fire was back and it wasn't angry like my own. It was determination that shone from her eyes.

"I will do everything I can to help you trust me again. I don't care how long it takes. I know that I ran like a scared little girl. Thank God for Jake because he talked some sense into me. Somewhere in my head though, I've known all along you were it for me. Everything I needed to save me and everything I never knew I wanted; it's all held in you. Please, Edward, just let me try."

Bella's eyes were pleading with me and though I had heard every word she said, I felt myself cloud over a little at the mention of Jacob's name. So she ran away from me and straight to him. I was, apparently, not as okay with Jacob as I had previously thought because jealousy was now surging through my veins in time with the anger. This was not something I needed to bring up though, especially if I wanted us to work this out. I did too; want us to work, so very badly.

"I'm willing to try Bella," I began. "But it won't be easy to go back to where we were. I have to be sure you aren't going to run off again; I have to be able to trust you again. I want it to work, Bella, but we'll just take it slow, one day at a time.

She bowed her head for a second before looking back up at me with a small smile.

"Thank you, Edward. I know that is more than I deserve after I hurt you." Bella smiled for a little longer before I couldn't fight it anymore and returned it with a slight curve of my lips.

"So," Bella spoke, "where do we go from here?"

"I think that we said what we needed to and that should be it for now," I sighed heavily. Her eyes looked sad when I said it but she nodded her head in understanding.

"Just keep my clothes—they look good on you anyways." I gave her a smile while I teased her to reassure her that we were going to move on. I just needed time to think, without her eyes captivating mine, calling to my heart, and confusing the hell out of me.

Bella grabbed her soaked clothes, slipped on her flip-flops, and I walked her to the door silently. She turned to look at me, and she was so beautiful. It hit me then just how much I had missed seeing her face every day.

"I'm glad you came back, Bella. I was lost without you."

Her smile was huge in response to my words. Her perfect lips were calling to me; I hadn't kissed her in what seemed like forever. I kept myself at bay though. Affection like that would have to wait until my head had stopped swimming. Instead, I pulled her tightly to my chest, hugging her body in the most amazing way. I dropped a soft kiss on top of her head before letting her go and stepping back a little.

Bella gazed up at me, looking like she wanted more but knew better than to push it. She finally opened the door and left silently. There wasn't anything else for either one of us to say and that was alright. We knew it would get better eventually. I watched as she drove away, closing the door when I couldn't see her truck anymore. My thoughts raced as I sat on my back porch and watched the rain, IPod jammed in my ears.

I listened to the song she had played our last night together, realizing just how much I related to the words, so much more now than before.

_**You're inches from my fingertips,  
I've come as close as I can get,  
I'm reaching but the rest is up to you**_

I suddenly felt a soft touch on my shoulder, and the electricity shocked me through my shirt. I turned quickly in my chair meeting the chocolate pools I could spend my life falling into.

"Bella, what are you…?"

**************************************************************

**A/N: Hahaha! I totally accomplished a teaser! Sorry this was so short compared to the last few, it needed to end here though. I hope you are happy, Yay! She's back! Silly Bella. Anywho, I want to say thank you to SleepMyBella for her wonderful words and Pualuoma for being my most constant reviewer! You girls make me so happy! I have had a lot of people recently review or add my story to their alerts, WELCOME! I am so glad you are all enjoying the story! **

**Also, thanks to my BF for helping me sort this shit out….Love ya Melis!**

**Any ideas for what Bella is up to??? And what are you all thinking of the music choices?!?!**

**Songs for this chapter are "Homecoming" by Hey Monday, "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies, and "Reaching" by Jason Reeves. **


	13. Rebuilding

"Bella, what are you…?" My wondering voice was cut off by Bella's delicate finger pushing against my lips. I shuddered slightly at her touch.

"Don't talk, Edward. Just let me show you how sorry I am." Bella smiled down at me, leaned in towards me, and…

_BOOM!_

Thunder crashed all around me and I jumped about a foot out of my chair. My fist was clenched hard around my IPod as I looked about wildly. I took a deep breath and realized that no, Bella had not come back, I was being ridiculous. The music from the tiny speakers played on in my ears.

_**This is gonna take a long time  
And I wonder what's mine  
Can't take no more  
Wonder if you'll understand  
It's just the touch of your hand  
Behind a closed door  
All I needed was the love you gave  
All I needed for another day  
And all I ever knew  
Only you**_

Ain't that the truth? The dream I had just woken from played in my head. It was a very dangerous dream to be having and one that told me exactly what my body wanted out of Bella. Traitor. Thankfully, my head knew better. I just wanted things to go back to normal as soon as possible because these sexually frustrated sleepy creations would do me in if I wasn't careful.

My neck was stiff from sleeping in an awkward position so I rolled my head around a few times before standing up and stretching. I lifted my arms over my head, pushed up as far as I could and groaned.

For the rest of the night I set about my normal behaviors; making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, watching TV. It was all very mundane and was really, exactly what I needed. I slept peacefully that night; my brain had sense enough to not torture me with unrealistic dreams and I was grateful.

****************

Red numbers burned into my retinas as my eyes fluttered open. Ouch! Rolling from my back to my stomach, I groaned loudly and pushed my arms and legs out away from me. I had been asleep entirely too long. It was like I was a teenager again or something; twelve hours, really?

I showered and got dressed quickly before making my way to the kitchen. Even though it was half past noon, I was going to have breakfast. The day didn't start until you had eaten breakfast, simple as that. I fried up eggs and bacon, toasted a few slices of bread and threw everything on a plate while grabbing some orange juice.

Just as I sat down to eat there was a knock on my door, so soft I almost didn't hear it. Thank God I had turned my music down when I had taken my seat or I wouldn't have heard anything. The noise of it had drowned out whoever's engine when they arrived outside anyways.

I set my fork down, slid off of my stool, and trotted up to my front door. The heavy wood swung open in front of me to reveal a very beautiful Bella, who was wearing a timid smile. Her simple outfit of a t-shirt and jeans enhanced everything about her and I stood motionless for a moment. She always seemed to catch me off-guard.

"Hi," she said blushing. "Sorry if I'm bothering you," Bella quickly apologized, apparently misinterpreting my silence.

She started talking out of nervousness, her words sort of running together. "I just came by to see if you wanted to come with me today. I maybe should have called instead. I need to go to Port Angeles and thought that if you weren't too busy then you might want to come with me. If you are busy, which I'm sure you are, then I'm so sorry I interrupted you." Bella looked panicked. "I'll just go."

As she turned to leave, I grabbed her hand and spun her to face me with a smile plastered on my face, a smile I couldn't stop from forming.

"Don't go," I whispered. "I'm not busy at all today."

Bella's mouth crept upward on the sides as happiness replaced uncertainty in her eyes. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

"I was just eating if you can wait a few minutes." Bella nodded up at me so I led her into the house by her hand, shutting the door quietly behind us. "Do you want anything?" I asked as we entered the kitchen.

"Some water would be great, but I can get it myself. You go eat." We exchanged smiles, grinning like fools for some crazy reason. I sat down, watching Bella help herself and all at once, Bella was back where she belonged. She was moving around my home, just like she belonged there. It was almost like she never left, almost like the gaping hole in my heart had been filled to the brim, was flowing over even. Almost, except for the slightly large existence of uncertainty I was now feeling where we were concerned.

Despite that though, I was anxious to start our first day back together, just being us. I shoveled my food in quickly, probably closely resembling a wild animal. I stopped to look up and Bella was watching me with a slightly amused expression, leaning against the counter with a glass in her hand. I sheepishly swallowed, loudly, a bite that was too big and glanced down at my plate. It was very empty so I jumped up eagerly and dropped my dishes in the sink. As Bella continued to watch me, her smile got broader and she looked like she was containing her giggles.

"You ready?" she asked putting her glass down, laughter in her voice. I nodded at her and followed her out of my kitchen. I grabbed my keys from the table and locked the door as we made our way out. When I turned around, Bella was headed towards her truck. A forty five minute drive on rambling wheels…I think not.

I cleared my throat and Bella turned to look at me questioningly.

"I know that you love that…truck…like it's your child, but I don't want my butt to be numb by the time we get Port Angeles. Sorry," I apologized. My voice was sympathetic but the grin on my face wasn't fooling her.

Her face twisted into a scowl and Bella muttered, "Fine."

I chuckled as I walked over to my car and opened to passenger side door for her. I just smiled at her, leaning against the side of the car with my arms folded over my chest. Bella continued to scowl at me as she stalked to the car dramatically. I planted a quick kiss on her cheek as she was climbing in. Instantly, her eyes went wide, the scowl melted off her face and a small smile replaced it.

I felt slightly proud of myself for being able to change her mood like that, just with a simple kiss. I shut Bella's door and got into my own seat. My car quietly came to life, a stark contrast to the noise of her truck, and we were on our way. I handed Bella my IPod to let her pick the music. After a minute, I heard the drum beats of "There Is" make their way to my waiting ears. I snuck a peek at Bella and she was staring intently out of the window. I wondered why she would pick this song. It wasn't a happy song, nor romantic, or even just a plain song. It was heart-breaking, especially when I knew she had picked it out with purpose.

_**This vacation's useless  
These white pills aren't kind  
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive  
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9  
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights  
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have  
The days have come and gone  
Our lives went by so fast  
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor  
Where I laid and told you, but you swear you loved me more**_

Do you care if I don't know what to say  
Will you sleep tonight will you think of me  
Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay  
That there's someone out there who feels just like me  
There is

"Bella?" I asked quietly.

She snapped out of la la land and looked over at me expectantly. "I was just curious, why did you pick this song? I mean, it's not exactly a good mood maker." I threw a sideways glance her way and saw her shrug her shoulders.

"I don't know really." Bella paused for a moment before continuing. "I was feeling really comfortable with us and how today was going already. I guess I kind of wanted to remind myself what I had done to you so that I wouldn't feel too at ease. I needed to remember why I was so worried about how this day was going to go in the first place." She looked embarrassed and I couldn't have that.

I reached over and slid Bella's hand into mine. My thumb brushed lightly over the skin on the back of her hand and squeezed gently. "Bella, I know you are worried. I am too a little. Yes, you made a mistake. You came back and said sorry though. We aren't going to be able to move past this if you keep beating yourself up over it. There is no need to keep reliving your mistake. I want us to be great again." I spoke with soft conviction, hoping she was hearing me.

We drove on quietly for a while and Bella was far off in her thoughts again. I wasn't sure if she had heard me or not.

She took a deep breath before speaking finally. "I need to go to the mall so you can just head there," she said while we were sitting at a stop light just outside of Port Angeles.

And that was it. Bella didn't bother in the slightest to acknowledge the speech I had just given, not so much as a nod. Now I was frustrated. I brought my hand back to the wheel and gripped hard. I drove a little faster and came to an abrupt stop inside of a parking space when I found one. Just then, I felt a delicate hand on my forearm. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself and then turned to look at her.

"Edward," Bella began, "I heard everything you said, I promise. It's just hard for me to not be mad at myself. I promise to try though. I will try my hardest. I know that I am doing the right thing now, even if I didn't before. I'm so…" Bella got stuck on her own words and a tear rolled down her cheek slowly. I rid her skin of the saltwater streak and then left my hand against her cheek.

"I'm not very good with words. I'm sorry. Music has always been the way I explain things I feel. Can I show you that way, please?" Bella had an unexplainable look and all I could do was nod. The car was filled with various emotions and I wasn't sure which one, or ten, was my own.

Bella quickly grabbed the IPod again and scrolled to just the song she was looking for. As she pressed play, her eyes lit up and she looked at me with a new intensity and a slight smile. A surprise greeted my ears, but as I listened, I understood her, every part of her.

_**I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you**_

As we stared at each other, bursting with emotion, I formulated a plan for how our evening would go; a beautiful, and wonderful plan. Bella sang softly along with the chorus.

_**I've found out a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you**_

I kissed her with passion, her face between my hands, and she returned it equally, smiling against my lips. I would never tire of this woman and the things she did to me.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers. "I hear you loud and clear, Bella, loud and clear. Now let's get what need in this damn place so we can go home." I smiled briefly and kissed her once more before hopping out of the car.

Bella and I moved through the mall as a team, tackled what she needed and got out of there. We did spend some time shopping apart though. I stopped to buy Bella something that she wasn't allowed to see. I t was a very special something that had to do with my plan and I hoped like hell she was going to like it, approve of it. I don't have the slightest clue where she went or what she bought. If I was lucky, it would be a gift for me. I smiled a little devilishly to myself at that thought as I met back up with Bella.

"Ready to get the hell out of here?" I joked. Bella nodded eagerly at me and I grabbed her hand as we practically jogged out of the mall.

Bella and I were just like we used to be during the drive home. It was beyond great and I felt lighter than air. Being with Bella was easy, comfortable, and exactly where I was meant to be.

Before I knew what had happened, we were pulling up into my driveway. Bella was back to being pouty as soon as she laid eyes on her truck and I laughed at her the whole way into my house. That thing has got to go. I threw down my stuff from our shopping and took Bella in my arms, effectively wiping the frown off of her face.

"You, my dear, are way too attached to that truck." I kissed her softly and she playfully punched me in the arm. I laughed against her mouth and my stomach suddenly growled. It was Bella's turn to giggle at me.

"I really don't feel like cooking tonight; I like this lazy day we are having. What do you say we order pizza, drink beer, and be completely useless together?" I gave Bella my best smile, slightly lower on one side, and pulled her tightly to my chest.

"Sounds perfect," she smiled back. "I'll get the phone." Bella turned to leave and I patted her butt. She laughed as she ran off.

"I'm going to grab the beer from the extra fridge," I called out to Bella.

"Alright," came her reply.

I went out to my garage and grabbed the box out of my second refrigerator. I came back inside, just in time to see Bella hanging up the phone. "All set! Let's crack those babies open and turn up the music!" Bella was radiant, smiling ear to ear, and I was so glad she was back, home with me. Like I had thought so many times before, she belonged here, her home was right here with me.

While we waited for our pizza, we cranked up the stereo and did ridiculous dance moves around the living room, having a blast and being goofy. Sometimes, it's fun to act like a kid. Things had been serious enough for the last week or so, it was time to cut loose.

Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang and I went to grab the pizza from the delivery guy. I handed him my cash and took the pizza from him, waiting for my change. Bella popped up behind me and was going to take the pizza from my hands when I heard a small gasp come from her. I looked down to see what was wrong. Her eyes were wide and she looked shocked. I felt my brow crease in confusion and I looked back to the delivery guy.

His blonde head popped up when he went to give me my change, but his hand stopped short, his mouth fell open, and his eyes were wide like Bella's. I was now thoroughly confused. What the hell was I missing?

"Mike…?" Bella whispered.

_Mike?_ I thought. You have got to be fucking kidding me. We were finally happy together, last obstacle crossed, and this asshole has to show up on my damn doorstep.

"Uh, hi Bella…I, um, what a surprise. How are you?" Mike finally figured out how speak and was looking more excited by the second. _I don't think so buddy_. My free arm possessively slid around Bella's waste, hoping to send a very clear message to the jackass in front of me.

Bella looked up at me, smiled brightly, and then looked back at Mike. "I'm doing great Mike. Listen, thanks for the pizza. Have a good night!" With that she shut the door in his face and took the pizza from my hand. She walked towards the living room and I stood there like an idiot, staring dumbly after her.

Bella stopped and looked at me over her shoulder with an expectant gaze. "You coming?" she asked.

I walked quickly after her and sat down with her on the couch. She popped the top on the box and grabbed a piece, acting like nothing had just happened at the front door.

"So," I began, "that's the jerk?"

Bella's mouth was full so she nodded as she chewed. "That's him. I can't believe he is delivering pizza. Guess he got what was coming to him though," she giggled. Then she looked at me a little more closely, taking in my dumbfounded state. "Edward," she put her pizza down and moved close to me. "You are the only one I care about now. You are the only one that matters, and you are the only one I love." Bella kissed me softly and I couldn't help but notice this was the first time either of us had said the infamous L word since she had come back. My heart went flying.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her for a brief moment. "It was just a shock," I told her after we parted. "I never thought I would have to see him. I guess it just made me a little worried. Stupid, sorry." The smell of the pizza drifted to me from the open box and I sniffed dramatically. Bella giggled before picking her piece up and handing me one.

We ate quietly for a little bit and then chatted idly as we devoured the whole pizza. Well, I devoured and Bella had two slices. As we finished eating I decided it was time to put my plan into action. I got up from the couch, cleaning up our mess before moving over to the stereo and retrieving my IPod. I maybe should have been waiting longer for this but I was done waiting. Patience didn't have a place here tonight.

"Bella, do you want to go upstairs with me?" I asked when she came over to see what I was doing. An evil grin formed on her face and she nodded.

"I'll meet you up there in a few minutes okay?" she said.

"Alright." I left her there in the living room and jogged up the stairs, heading straight for my room. I took off my shoes, socks, and t-shirt. Scrolling through my music, I found the song that had been plaguing me all day and set it up to play through the dock on my nightstand. I grabbed the remote for the little speakers and then dimmed the lights in my room, waiting for Bella to join me.

Her tiny voice sounded from the doorway and I turned to see a vision of perfection, waiting anxiously for my approval.

"So, what do you think?" Bella asked me. She stood before me in a black, silky nightgown that reached the top of her thighs. Her perfect legs were calling to my fingers, begging to be caressed. A beautiful blush colored her cheeks and made her glow in the soft light.

I motioned to her with my finger and she walked nervously towards me, stopping when she was mere inches from me. My finger gently pulled her face up to look at me and I whispered "You are gorgeous."

Bella's natural reaction was to look away again but my finger wouldn't allow it. Her eyes darted around before she gave up and looked back into my eyes. "I love you Bella Swan." We both smiled broadly and I touched my lips to hers.

"I use songs to give me the words I don't have, just like you Bella. So, tonight, I want to give you a song that says everything I can't." I pressed play on the remote and tossed it somewhere, not caring where it landed. The plastic clattered noisily against the floor before the silence of the room gave way to the quiet guitar. My arms wrapped around Bella's waist as her own arms slid around my neck. I began swaying with her to the beat and leaned down to her ear.

"Just listen," I whispered. I continued in hushed tones, singing along to the music that spoke for me this evening.

_**You've got the best of both worlds  
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,  
And lift him back up again  
You are strong but you're needy,  
Humble but you're greedy  
And based on your body language,  
And shoddy cursive I've been reading  
Your style is quite selective,  
though your mind is rather reckless  
Well I guess it just suggests  
that this is just what happiness is**_

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is  
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Between the pauses, I kissed behind her ear and down her neck. My hands moved lazily over her back in random patterns, enjoying the sensations caused by the friction of my hands against the fabric. Bella's fingers were woven into my hair and she sighed contentedly.

"This isn't the most conventional love song, Bella, but if you listen closely, it is real. You and I are a mess, and it's a fight, but we are doing it together, from now on. We are a crazy, but beautiful mess, maze, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I quietly sang the end of the song to her as I guided her slowly over to my bed.

_**We're still here  
What a beautiful mess, this is  
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"**_

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure  
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts  
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. "Let me make it up to you Edward. Let me make up for my mistakes." Her eyes turned to mine as her hands came to rest on the sides of my neck.

"I'm yours, Bella. Show me everything." She smiled as I spoke and closed the distance between us, capturing my lips with her own.

I stood patiently while Bella's hands roamed over me. Light touches flowed down my chest, over my arms and to my waist. Her hands rested there while she moved her lips slowly over mine, running her tongue along my bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth. A delicious chill ran down my spine at the feeling of her tongue and I pushed my body into hers. A wonderful tension formed in the air and I thrived off of it.

Bella's tiny fingers went to work on my jeans and I grasped the bottom of her nightgown. I pulled back slightly, yanked the smooth silk over her head and pulled her flush against me. My hands were splayed tightly against her back and I relished the feeling of her soft, supple skin against mine. Nothing had ever felt quite like this for me before in my life. I looked down at her bare breasts that were magnificently pressed to my body. So exquisite was her body that I stopped breathing for a moment.

Dropping to her knees before me, Bella slid down my jeans in one, smooth and painfully slow movement. There was playful gleam in her eyes and it excited me all the more. She ran her fingertips softly over my thighs and my hands found purchase in her hair, massaging her scalp gently. Her hands hooked into the sides of my boxers, ridding me of the last shred of fabric that covered me. I stepped out of the clothing that had pooled at my feet and pushed it to the side.

Soft and warm, Bella's mouth wrapped around me and the contact was wonderful, much anticipated as the pressure in my body grew and grew. Her velvet tongue swirled around the head and flattened out against the underside of me, massaging me into submission. Moans escaped my lips as she continued working on me, her head bobbing as she moved up and down the shaft. Bella sucked me gently, and then with more force. The alternate sensations were causing me to near my limit and I wasn't even close to being ready for that.

I gently stilled her movements and she released me with a pop, smiling up at me.

"Stand up, Bella," I requested quietly. She rose to her feet and slowly guided her back onto the bed, crawling up her body and hovering over her. I began kissing down her neck, humming against her skin. My tongue darted out, lapping up her one-of-a kind taste and she giggled beneath me. My eyes met her sparkling ones.

"I love you, Edward," Bella leaned up to kiss me briefly.

"I love you, too. For as long as I breathe Bella, I love you." She smiled brightly at my admission and that was my cue to continue with our night. My hands firmly smoothed over her sides and grasped onto her hips. My tongue traveled down her body, through the valley between her breasts, around her belly button, and across the top of her panties. I removed the offensive fabric, the last barrier between me and where I wanted to be. It was where she wanted me too, evidenced by her moans and pleading.

"Touch me, Edward. Make me feel what you feel. Just please….put your hands on me." Bella was growing impatient, and rather quickly too. I hadn't taken much time enjoying her body, but I could tell tonight was not a time for games. We both needed this, needed each other. We needed to heal the pain that had been caused, remove the scars that still lingered.

"Whatever you need. I can't resist you when you sound like that, so vulnerable. It is ridiculously sexy." I winked at her and ran my fingers between her slick folds. Bella's back arched off of the mattress and she inhaled sharply. "Is this where you want me?" I asked as a finger slipped inside of her.

"God yes," she breathed. I smiled to myself and moved her legs apart gently. She brought them up to rest her feet flat on the bed and I appreciated the view for a moment. She was flawless. I positioned myself at her entrance, lingering above her body.

Our eyes met and I crashed my mouth to hers as I entered her quickly. We both groaned, catching the noises in our mouths as we began moving together. Her hips rose from the bed to meet mine and before too long, we were frenzied in our movements. Our tongues battled and caressed. I rested my forearms on either side of Bella's head as I increased my pace a little more. The friction felt impossibly good and I was so close.

I moved a hand between our bodies, rubbing the pad of my thumb against her sensitive clit, willing her body to follow mine. Bella's legs clamped tightly around my waist, her back arched up into me, and her head fell back with her loud moan. "Edward!" Her body shuddered beneath me with her release, such a beautiful sight.

I pushed into her a couple more times before releasing harder than I ever had before. I tensed and groaned against her neck. When my body had calmed, I kissed her neck softly and nuzzled it with my nose. "So good," I mumbled. Bella chuckled from beneath me and I kissed her mouth for a few moments, enjoying my current state of bliss.

I finally pulled out of her and rolled off to the side, gathering her against me. "I needed that," Bella said. I nodded in agreement and held her a little tighter. "I think, if it's okay, I want to shower before we go to sleep." She looked me expectantly.

"Go for it," I told her. This gave me the perfect opportunity to set up her gift. "I'll go clean up in the guest room and be here when you get out." With one last kiss, I got up off the bed and left her alone in my room to shower.

I cleaned up at a record pace in the bathroom and slipped on some sweatpants. Downstairs, I grabbed my bags from shopping and went to work, unpacking the record player. I put it together with the previous knowledge of doing my own player and took it up the stairs. The shower turned off just as I reached my room and I started panicking a little. I wanted it ready to go when she walked through that door.

I plugged in the player and carefully placed the record onto it. The needle lowered and the music softly played. I felt triumphant at having accomplished my goal and I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Bella to join me.

Steam poured from the door and Bella emerged in the nightgown that had been discarded earlier. It showed her off in the best way possible and was still modest. I had seen her once, but she took my breath away again as she walked towards me.

"Where is the music coming from?" Bella asked, noticing that my IPod was off.

I looked over to the corner of my room where the player sat on the floor and she followed my gaze. "How wonderful, Edward! I didn't know you had one of these!" She was so excited, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, I do. Mine is downstairs with the other stereo stuff though. This one," I said, pointing to the corner, "is for you."

Bella's eyes went wide as she turned to look at me. Comprehension dawned on her features and she was positively glowing now with excitement. "Is this what you were buying today?" she asked, wonder evident in her tone.

I nodded, smiling at her. "The record is yours too. It's the first thing we ever listened to together."

"I can't believe you remember that. It feels like so long ago. Oh this is wonderful Edward!" Bella launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. "I absolutely love it! I love you!" She kissed me deeply, showing her appreciation.

"I am so glad you like it. I wasn't sure if you would enjoy it but I know you love music like I do so I thought I would give it a try," I explained to her.

"It will play every day in my house!" She paused for a moment, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the Kings of Leon album. "Can we leave it on to sleep to?" she asked. She looked excited at the prospect. I never did sleep well with noise, but when she looked that happy, how could I possibly turn her down?

"Of course, sweetheart." I kissed the top of her head and then remembered a question I had running laps in my brain. "Did you buy this for me today?" I asked, tugging lightly on the strap of her nightgown.

Bella nodded, her face coloring slightly in a blush. "I love it," I whispered in her ear. She snuggled against my chest. "Let's get to sleep."

We climbed in together and I pulled the covers over us. I laid on my back while Bella sprawled out on her stomach with one arm and one leg draped over me. I wanted to go to bed like this every night, from now on. Bella had a small smile on her face as I watched her drift to sleep and I followed after shortly, hoping to see her perfect form when I woke in the morning.

**************************************************

WHEW!!! What a chapter! So, another lemon, and they are happy again! Yay! What will be next? You shall see soon. I have already started chapter 14 so hopefully it won't take me long to get up! Leave your love, let me know your thoughts!

Tons of music this chapter so here it goes: "Only You" by Joshua Radin, "There Is" by Boxcar Racer, "The Reason" by Hoobastank, and "A Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz. Hope you liked them! I just couldn't not use them!


	14. Meet the Family

_**I'm in love with this girl, **__**that's got my head,  
Electrified.  
I hope that someday she might go too far,  
Go too far.  
Cause all I can think about is me and her,  
Electrified.  
I hope that someday she might take me home,  
And lose control.**_

Bella was there the next morning, and has been almost every day since. It is more than I can describe to wake up and see an angel sleeping next to me every morning. I love her a little more each day and I can see she feels the same.

I suppose Bella had escaped for long enough; it was time for her to meet my family. Escaped might not be the right word. My family was wonderful and I knew that they would lover he. But she was terrified. I had done my best to assure her that everything would be fine but the apprehension was still clearly visible in her eyes.

Alice had called a few days ago to check in with me, seeing how I was doing since I was in self-imposed hell the last time we spoke. She about made me deaf when I told her how Bella and I were doing.

"So, dear brother, how are things with Bella? You sound so much better so I assume she is back." Alice sounded hopeful; she wanted to meet my other half.

"We are better now than we were before she left. Bella came home, we rebuilt, and everything is perfect. Now that I look back on it I can see how much easier it is and how it feels concrete now." I was gushing like a teenage girl but I was in love, more than I ever thought possible.

Bella and I had spent so much time together lately that she may as well have been living here, which would have been more than fine with me.

"That's wonderful, Edward!" Alice exclaimed loudly. There went my eardrum. "I am so happy to hear that. I knew it would all work out. Since everything is as it should be now, I'm bringing Jasper and the parents in a week to meet Bella. I can't wait to finally know the girl who puts up with you!"

"Oh well thanks, Ali, I love you too. But that is really great! It makes it so easy for her to get comfortable with everyone. That way we don't have to make multiple trips and she will be here where she is familiar with her surroundings. Besides, I haven't seen you guys in forever. It will be nice to spend time as a family for once."

"And for once you won't be the only one who doesn't have a partner," Alice joked with a small giggle.

"Shut it, Alice," I warned.

Alice just kept giggling when I gave her the empty threat. "I love you, Edward. I'll call you with details after I talk to mom and dad."

"Sounds good, I'll talk to you later."

We hung up and I shared the good news with Bella. Well, it was good news to me anyways. I was ready for them to meet her, more than ready.

"Guess who's coming to visit?" I said excitedly. Before she had a chance to say anything I kept going. "Alice, Jasper, and my parents. I haven't seen them in too long and they can't wait to meet you." I was smiling broadly at her, having trouble containing my excitement.

Her chocolate eyes went wide and she smiled uneasily.

"They will adore you Bella, just like I do. I promise," I told her.

She just nodded at me and kept on with that sort-of smile plastered on her face, so I wrapped my arms around her and tried to offer comfort the only other way I knew how. The physical meant more to me than words anyway.

Bella grew more and more anxious as the days passed and before we knew it, tomorrow was the day my family would arrive. We were sitting on my porch, listening to the rain and some music, and I was forcing wine on Bella hoping to relax her some. Bella started smiling like a crazy person when she realized what the current song was, coming through the outdoor speakers. I stared at her, wondering what she was thinking. I could practically see the wheels turning.

"Bella?" I questioned. "What is that look for?"

Her smile couldn't have gotten any bigger as she rose from her chair, standing to face me. Slowly, Bella started backing away from me, curling her finger for me to follow.

I quirked my eyebrow at her and I was still trying to understand her actions. Before long, she wasn't under the cover of the porch anymore and the rain was beginning to soak through her clothes and into her hair. That was a sight to see.

"Come back under here! What are you doing?" As much as I was enjoying the view, I was sure she had lost her damn mind.

She shook her head. "Come over here, Edward," Bella said before she continued staring at me with crazed eyes.

I hesitantly got up and walked out into the rain, squinting at the offensive water droplets that assaulted my face. When I got close enough, Bella fisted her hands in my shirt and pulled me to her forcefully.

Bella's wild gaze was fixed on my lips as she spoke.

"I want to have some fun, Edward. Some very dirty fun." Her eyes shot up to mine and she winked at me. I felt my eyes grow large from surprise and excitement.

Bella's perfect mouth moved next to my ear and her tongue snaked along the rim of it. Then she huskily whispered, singing to me, and my body couldn't help but respond.

"_**I don't know what this is but you got me good, just like you knew you would. I don't know what you do, but you do it well. I'm under your spell. You got me beggin you for mercy."**_

Damn those were powerful lyrics when the love of your life, your personal vixen, was softly singing them to you!

I shuddered against Bella before swooping her up in my arms and crashing my mouth to hers. I explored every area of her mouth as I walked quickly over to the side of the house. Her back hit the wall causing her to laugh into my mouth. Bella's legs and arms wrapped tightly around me and I pushed further into her. I didn't want to crush her but I couldn't get close enough. The bulge in my pants was quite large by now and I was sure Bella could feel it.

Every time we had made love, it was beautiful and perfect and tender. This though, this was raw and hot and, dear God, did it feel amazing. I didn't know how much I needed to be with her like this until now.

Bella dropped her legs from around my waist and I ran my hands down her sides. I pulled on her shirt and she let go long enough for it to go over her head and into the mud next to us. Her mouth was back on mine and we were thoroughly ravaging each other. My hands cupped her breasts through her bra and massaged them roughly as I felt her hands go under my shirt and her nails rake across the skin of my chest and abs. The pain of it felt amazing; just enough to make me even harder. I was going to bust out of my jeans here in a second.

I moved my hands around to her back, sliding between her and my house, and undid the clasp on her bra. I jerked the straps down her arms and it landed with her shirt. Bella's hands shoved my shirt up and off and she pulled me to her, arching her back off of the house and into me before letting out a low moan. Her eyes were closed and she looked so damn sexy.

Open mouthed kissed trailed up her neck and I flicked her nipples with my thumbs, causing her to jump slightly in my hands. I bent down and sucked a nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and nibbling lightly. Bella's hand was at the back of my head, holding me close to her. I moved over to the other side while my fingers quickly undid her jeans. I shoved my hand down the front of her pants and rubbed her in quick motions through her panties.

"Oh God, Edward," Bella moaned. It was music to my ears and I let her breast go with a pop.

I bent a little further and pushed her wet jeans down her legs. She flung off her shoes and the jeans and I took a moment to look at her wet body. Rain drops skittered across her skin, leaving trails behind them and I suddenly wanted to lick her, everywhere.

Our faces were inches apart as I spoke. "You are so sexy, Bella. God, the things I want to do to you." I watched tremors course through her body and smiled to myself.

I began at her neck, raking my tongue over her skin, catching as many raindrops as possible. Over her collarbone, around her breasts, down her taut stomach and each of her legs, my mouth drank her. I was in the mud on my knees and my jeans were soaked, causing a heavy weight on my body. As I pulled her leg up over my shoulder, her glistening folds made my cock jump. One long drag of my tongue moved up her slit and Bella yelped. Her fingers grasped tightly onto my hair and I dove into her, lapping diligently at her bundle of nerves.

I slid two fingers inside of her and pumped her while I sucked on her clit. When she was throbbing in my mouth, I curled my fingers against her special spot and she came hard on my tongue.

"Bella," I said, my mouth still against her, "I think I could drink you forever you taste that damn good." Her cheeks blushed furiously and I needed her, now.

I stood in front of her and she quickly grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, my back slamming into the wall. The roughness in Bella's touch as she rid me of my jeans and boxers in one swoop was more of a turn on than I could have imagined. Bella was on her knees for me now and I felt a little bad that she was in the mud; until she devoured me, anyway.

Long strokes of her tongue flowed up and down my cock before she sucked me for all she was worth. Her hand pumped me as she sucked on the tip and the sensation was amazing. Bella's mouth left me for a second and I looked down in to time to see her evil grin. Her head dove down and she took one of my balls into her mouth, sucking and nibbling.

"Oh fuck," I cried out. Her hand and mouth kept on satisfying me until I thought I just might die and then she was standing in front of me again. Bella pushed on my shoulder indicating she wanted my on the ground. My eyebrows shot up.

"You want me to lie down in the mud?" I asked in a tone that suggested I was questioning her sanity.

"Yep! You, mud, now." Bella looked giddy and I decided to comply. I sank down to the ground with some uncertainty. She pushed our clothes quickly under my head and when I was laid out fully, she climbed on top of me.

Her wet hot silk enveloped me with one movement and it was all I could do not to come right then. My hands gripped her hips tightly and I held her in place for a second. I could hear my ragged breath and the pounding of my heart. My eyes were clenched shut so I didn't see Bella bend down but she was whispering to me now.

"Let me fuck you, Edward."

"God, yes!" I groaned from clenched teeth. Immediately my hands pushed and pulled her hips as she began rocking on top of me and then sliding up and down effortlessly.

I could vaguely hear the rain still dropping and the slight squish of our bodies against the ground, but for the most part I was lost in Bella. It was quite an amazing sight; her on top of me, taking control. All I could do was enjoy the moment and let her work me over.

"Bella…" I breathed out as my heart rate moved faster with each pass of her body down onto mine. My breath was ragged and my chest was heaving. I slid my hand between Bella's breasts and down her body until it reached where we were joined. My thumb began making fast circles over her clit and Bella froze slightly in the air. Her eyes were shut and she was smiling faintly. I began thrusting my hips up into her and she was shuddering above me in no time. I pushed a few more times and felt my own release take hold.

Bella collapsed on top of me as we both regained our breath.

"Well, that was unexpected," I said quietly.

Bella giggled softly and I kissed her shoulder. "Come on I'm filthy. Let's go take a shower," I suggested, wrapping my arms tightly around her back and sitting up.

Bella nodded against my chest and we both stood and then she gathered our clothes. We each had foolish grins on our faces as we carefully walked through my house and up the stairs to my room. The warm water and steam felt amazing against our soaked skin. We relaxed and enjoyed each other's bodies a little more before finally going to sleep to await the arrival of my family.

*******************

Alice, Jasper, and my parents rented a car at the airport and drove to my house from Seattle. They arrived around 5 in the afternoon. I was so happy to see them, even if it was just for the weekend.

I walked outside when I heard the small, black SUV drive up and Bella trailed nervously behind me. No matter what I had said, she was still a basket case. I pulled her into my side, wrapping my arm around her and smiled at my family. Alice's tiny form came flying at me as she squealed.

"Oh Edward, I'm so happy to see you! Five months is really too long!"

I had let go of Bella so Alice didn't knock me down and I hugged Alice back, chuckling. "Yeah it is, Ali." I set Alice on her feet and began the long line of introductions.

"Alice, this is Bella. Bella," I turned to her smiling and gently placed my hand on her lower back, encouraging her. "This is my sister, Alice."

Alice jumped at Bella too, whose eyes were now wide with slight fear but there was a smile on her face.

"Bella, it's so wonderful to finally meet you! Thanks you for being the one to make my brother truly happy," Alice said, making Bella blush. "Also, thanks for putting up with him. I don't know how you do it!" Alice winked at Bella and laughed before hugging her again quickly.

Bella laughed with her before saying, "I don't put up with anything, I am lucky to have him." She smiled at me and my insides gave a little jump.

Jasper and my parents finally came walking up behind Alice, carrying entirely too much luggage. That had to be Alice's fault because my mother has more sense than to pack that much for a two night stay.

My mom hugged me enthusiastically and then turned to Bella who was now expecting the inviting hug. "Bella, this is my mother, Esme," I told her.

"So glad to finally meet you, Bella. You have stolen my son's heart." My mother was beaming at Bella and had her hands lightly placed on Bella's shoulders.

Bella's previous blush resumed as she conceded, "He's stolen mine too." Her eyes were on the ground but I could see curve of her lips into a beautiful smile.

I kept the introductions rolling, hoping to quickly end Bella's embarrassment, even if I did love the blush. "This is my father, Carlisle." My father hugged Bella too but left out the mushy sentiments, they weren't really his style.

I stuck my hand out to Jasper, "Hey, man." He nodded, shaking my hand in return. I took two bags from him and passed him to Bella.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," he said, shaking her hand. Jasper was very formal about everything in her life. Years of military service had done that to him.

"You too, Jasper," she replied with a smile. Bella looked slightly relived at the loss of full body contact with my family members.

I turned for the stairs to the front door and Bella hurried in front of me. "Bella, why don't you go finish the last things in the kitchen. I'm just going to show them their room and let them get settled." I kissed her cheek quickly before heading up the stairs. "Come on guys, this way," I directed my family.

They followed silently behind me until I stopped at the first room in the long hallway. "Oh my God! Edward, she's beautiful! And she seems so sweet! I approve," Alice was speaking rather loudly even though she was right next to me.

I playfully pushed her shoulder. "Gee thanks, Alice. I kind of like her too!" My tone was laced with sarcasm and she promptly rolled her eyes at me before turning to survey the room she was staying in.

"I really love this house. You did a good job with it. I mean, I know mom picked everything out but you put it together on your own. I'm so proud big brother," the sarcasm was now being thrown back at me.

"How sweet, Ali." I may have been joking with her about her approval of Bella but I was really very happy that they seemed to like her so far.

"Mom, Dad, this way," I said, turning back to the hallway. "That's your bathroom," I pointed to the right as we passed it. "And this is your room." I led them through the door and stood back for them to look around.

"It's beautiful, Edward, and Bella seems absolutely lovely," my mom gave me her small blessing and I felt my heart grow a little in my chest.

"You're a lucky man, son," my dad said, nodding towards me.

"Thanks, I'm so glad you all seem to like her," I smiled. "When you all get settled, go ahead and come downstairs. We'll have dinner in a little while."

"Okay, we'll be down in a few minutes," my mom said. I left them to their unpacking and told Alice for her and Jasper to come down also when they were done. I found Bella in the kitchen, staring intently at glasses of ice that she had set up on the counter. She was so far gone that she didn't even notice me come into the room. I wanted to comfort her a little, soothe her nerves, so I walked up behind her and lightly snaked my arms around her waist. Bella jumped slightly before melting back against my chest.

"They love you," I whispered in her ear. She sighed in a relieved sort of way. "Just be yourself and they won't be able to resist you. I know I can't," I leaned down to kiss her neck.

Bella giggled and I felt her throat vibrate against my lips. I inhaled deeply along the skin of her neck, taking in the scent that I loved, before pulling back. "They should be down soon. Dinner smells great! They are going to think you are a better cook than me." I let go of her and opened the door on the oven to check Bella's Italian casseroles.

"Of course they'll think that, but only because it's true." Her voice was mischievous, and sure enough, when I looked up at her the grin on her face matched it.

"Oh really? I do believe that you like my cooking," I was glaring at her playfully.

"Of course I do. I never said I didn't. I'm just amazing. It's not your fault that you aren't as good as me." Her tone of voice made me laugh. I was so glad that she was joking with me, relaxing more than I had seen out of her in days. Well, with the exception of our outdoor adventure yesterday.

As Bella and I's laughter died out, my family walked through the doorway to the kitchen.

"Something smells wonderful," my mother complimented.

I didn't have to look at Bella to know she was turning pink at the words of praise. "Bella is a great cook, Mom. Much better than I am." I smiled over at Bella and winked at her. Sure enough, her face was tinged with color and my smile widened.

"It's just a casserole," Bella said, brushing off the attention. I wasn't going to let her downplay her abilities though.

"And modest, really modest," I said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I am sure it will be delicious. Nothing smells that good and tastes bad," assured Alice. The family laughed lightly at Alice.

"Let's go through the rest of the house real quick and you guys can see the backyard," I suggested.

Bella suddenly came to life at the mention of the backyard. "Oh, that's my favorite part of the house. I bet you all would love it. It is beautiful!" She was practically giddy as the words flew from her mouth. Bella turned abruptly to leave the kitchen opposite of where my family had come in.

I shrugged my shoulders at the curious gazes of my family and they followed behind me. Bella was already outside waiting for us as we made our way through the living room. "That door over there is the office," I said pointing. "This is the living room, clearly."

I led them through the open back door and noticed Bella had flipped the switch to turn on the lights even though they were barely visible with the continued presence of the sun. Her eyes were beaming as she looked around. My mother and sister let out a small, simultaneous gasp as they took in the backyard with trees and flowers, lights strung, a wood deck, and the patio furniture I had splurged on.

"This is amazing," Alice said in an awestruck voice. She turned to Jasper. "Can we do this at home? Oh, it's so romantic. We could eat dinner out there and it would be just perfect!"

Jasper smiled widely at her, a smile he only put on for her, and kissed her forehead. "Sounds like a great idea, Ali."

Alice leaned into him and closed her eyes with a quiet sigh of contentment. Watching the two of them together used to turn my stomach. Jealousy would do that to you. Now I watched them in understanding and appreciation though. It was all because of Bella. I had what they did now, so I could truly understand where Jasper and Alice found their constant peace.

My mother and father were talking quietly off in their own world. I took advantage of the moment my distracted family members were unknowingly providing me with. I wrapped my arms around Bella and she linked her own around my neck. My forehead rested against hers and a devious grin spread across my lips.

"So," I began, "could your love for this place have anything to do with what happened out here last night?" My voice was low and conspiratorial and the question got exactly the reaction I wanted. A deep, scarlet blush spread across her cheeks and I kissed her quickly with a chuckle.

A beeping sound came through the open door and broke the spell we all seemed to be under. I heard a collective sigh from the group.

"Bella, I believe that's our cue. Do you guys want to eat out here?" I asked, turning to look at everyone.

"Sounds great," my father smiled.

"Do you need help with anything?" my mother offered.

"Oh no, Esme! You all are guests. Grab a seat and relax. Edward and I can handle it." Bella was noticeably calmer and that made me feel calmer in my own head. She grabbed my hand and dragged me inside

"You guys have a seat, we'll be right back," I called over my shoulder as Bella made me jog through the back door. I was laughing at her strange behavior, watching her slide her hand into an oven mitt. The oven door flew open with a little force and she yanked the casserole dishes out. Bella gave each of the meals a once over and decided they were done before lunging at me.

Perfect lips crashed into mine as Bella wrapped her tiny body around me. I caught her easily and smiled against her mouth. Turning, I sat her down on the counter top and my hands roamed over her thighs with a firm touch. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, swept over my bottom lip and she bit down gently. I whimpered quietly at the pleasurable pain. My hands sunk to the inside of her thighs and I brushed my fingers lightly over her core through the thick denim that covered her. Bella was whimpering now as she arched into me. Her lips parted over my jaw and enclosed my ear lobe.

"It wasn't nice to tease me," she whispered into my ear. "Now, I want you to take me on the kitchen counter."

My dick twitched at her words and I groaned into her neck. "Bella, I really wish I could, you have no idea. But I don't think either of us wants my mom walking in on me pounding into you." I grinned broadly at her and painfully tried to readjust myself. Bella gave me a pout and I had to walk away before she talked me into her wonderful, yet dangerous, idea.

I got down plates for everyone and took out silverware, attempting to distract myself. I turned back to look at her where she still wore her adorable pout. Setting down the plates beside her, I moved my face until it was right in front of hers.

"Later, I promise. You know I can't resist you for very long. Let's go eat, be social, and then you are mine. All. Night. Long." I punctuated the last words each with a kiss and pulled her off of the counter.

Bella giggled and grabbed the plates and silverware. I had to shake my head a little in pure amusement. Apparently stress made Bella want sex all of the time. But who was I to complain? I took the casseroles and followed her out to the back porch.

"Dinner is served," I announced as I sat the food down in the middle of the table. Bella passed everything out quickly. "Why don't you take a seat sweetheart?" I kissed the side of her head, leading her to the seat next to Alice.

"Dad, can you help me grab the other stuff?"

"Sure son," he replied, scooting his chair back noisily against the deck.

My father was beaming at me when I turned to him in the kitchen. "I've never seen you like this before. It's wonderful. You seem so happy. Tell me, how are you feeling, Edward?"

"I'm happy. Really, really happy. I love her so much. She's it, Dad. I want her for the rest of my life, for forever." A ridiculous grin formed on my face but it couldn't be helped.

My dad clapped me on the back "Alright, let's get back out there before they send out the search party." My dad was a very no nonsense guy. He had said what he thought and that was it, no need to chit-chat about it, thank God. As much as I loved Bella, and loved to tell her that very fact, I didn't want to play 21 questions with the family or spill my guts.

I put the cups Bella had prepared onto a tray and handed it to my dad to carry while I took out the pitcher of tea.

We all laughed and talked through dinner, even Jasper. That alone was enough to make me feel very encouraged. It usually took jasper forever to open up around people. Watching everyone, I noticed how Bella seemed to belong with us, a perfect fit, like she had always been there. My parents shared embarrassing stories about me, causing an evil glint to appear in Bella's eye and she spoke proudly about her father.

"He's a wonderful man. I couldn't have asked for a better father," I squeezed her hand under the table.

"Well then, we should meet him too! Invite him tomorrow for lunch," my mother told Bella.

"I think he might like," Bella smiled.

We cleared off the table a little while later and broke apart to go to bed.

"Goodnight guys," I called down the hall from my bedroom door.

"Goodnight," they chorused back.

I shut the door and to look at Bella who was lying in my bed. "Well, Ms. Swan," I was walking slowly toward her. "Are you ready for that long night I promised?" my eyebrows were raised at her playfully.

"More than ready, Mr. Cullen." She was smiling up at me innocently. When I stopped at the edge of the bed, Bella grabbed my shirt and pulled me down on top of her. We both laughed and I had the best 'long' night of my life.

_**There is no better loss than to lose myself in you  
In a parachute to glide, I am captive in your sky  
Surrender has somehow become so **__**beautiful**__**  
Take control of the atmosphere  
Take control of the atmosphere  
You can take my world you can fill the air  
Take control, take control  
It's such a **__**beautiful**__** surrender**_

*******************************

Wow guys… I am so sorry. At the beginning of October I had half of this chapter written and then had a small accident with my laptop. I dropped it, the screen cracked and so I sent it off to be repaired. I was quoted $350-400. Two weeks after I sent it off I got a phone call that it was actually going to cost $1000….for a damn screen. So I declined the charges because I sure as shit don't have that kind of money. I had to wait for them to send it back. And then the idiot sent it to the wrong store so I had to wait for them to re-route it to the Best Buy where I live. Anyways……I have it back now and it is just plugged into another monitor!

Two chapters left on this story! Sad but I am almost glad to be done. I am doing what I think needs to be done and then I am done with Diner Bella. I do have a new story in the works though and I have almost the first to chapters written! Not sure on a title yet. I am very excited about it though! Might give you all a teaser if you let me know you want it!

Leave me love, hope you liked this chapter! Lots of lovin in this one so I hope that makes up for the wait a little! Sorry about the wait again and now for the long A/N!! Thanks for being patient!


	15. Permission

_**I was writing  
Thinking with my long hand  
Flippin the paper  
Every thing was sinking in  
Start to wonder  
How you gonna handle me?  
Swimming in the dark sea**_

Everybody wants you to make it  
Its all yours  
Everybody wants to take it  
Its all yours  
Everybody wants you to make it  
Its all yours  
Everybody wants to take it

Can you feel all the love?  
Like it was made for you!

That night, while Bella slept, I sat at the small table in my room and typed out random thoughts about Bella. I grasped onto every word I could find that described how I felt about her, wrote it all down, and it still wasn't enough. There was just no way to pour out my love for her onto paper. I was a writer, a romance novelist, and there just wasn't a damn thing more to say, but it still came up short. I read back through what I had written, the stream of consciousness that covered the pages, and decided I had to do something. Something I had never really thought about until this moment, with Bella, or any other woman for that matter. Something that sounded like it might be scary, but made me so full on the inside that I thought I might burst.

I looked back over my shoulder at Bella's beautiful form, softly covered by my sheets and knew that this was exactly what I wanted for forever.

It was a good thing Charlie was coming over the next day. I needed to ask him a very important question.

* * *

Bella made a phone call to her father the next morning to ask if he wanted to come to lunch. I could hear his deep, gruff voice as she lay next to me in bed and he debated whether or not he wanted to come.

"Come on, Dad," Bella pleaded. "It is only a couple of hours. They are so nice, you'll love them." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I just smiled back at her and waited for his response.

"Well, I guess I can. I'm not going fishing today so I didn't have anything planned. It's just a lot of new people all at once. You know I'm not much of a talker. But if you say they are nice, I'll have to trust your judgment," Charlie finally conceded.

"Thanks, Dad. Edward and I really appreciate this. Can you be here around 12:30?" Bella was smiling ear-to-ear now.

"Sure, Bells. I'll see you in a little while." The phone went dead and Bella just shook her head. Charlie wasn't much of a talker, especially on the phone.

I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close into my side, and she giggled. "All systems go then?"

"Yep! We should probably get up. I can hear your family moving around downstairs. It would be polite to join them." Bella sighed deeply into my chest before pushing against me so she could get out of the bed.

I groaned and pulled her tighter to me, refusing to let go. "I don't wanna," I sounded like a petulant child as I pouted.

Bella laughed at me, kissed me on the lips softly, and looked into my eyes. "I'll meet you back here tonight, deal?"

"Fine, I guess I can be social." I brushed her forehead with my lips, "Deal."

She rolled off of the bed and went to take a shower. I laid in bed, listening to the water run and thinking about my late night writing. Everything I had thought about last night was still running around in my head and I only felt it ten-fold now that I was coherent. I was completely confident about what I needed to do while Charlie was here today. Unfortunately, the butterflies in my stomach were rioting and I wasn't sure I was going to make it until he got here. I was bursting with joy and excitement. The proverbial ball needed to start rolling, and now.

Bella emerged from the bathroom, dressed with dry hair and I realized I had been laying there for quite a while. "Edward," she scolded. "Get your butt up! I'm going downstairs to play hostess, even though this is your house." She was trying to make me feel bad, but I was in too good of a mood for her slight annoyance to affect me.

"I won't be long, promise. Ten minutes tops." I kissed her chastely and enjoyed my favorite past time, slapping her on the butt. I could hear her sigh as she left the room and I chuckled to myself, turning on the water. I showered and dressed quickly before jetting down the stairs.

Laughter filled the lower level of my house and I could pick Bella's beautiful melody out from the jumbled sound the others were creating. I followed her call and found everyone in the living room. Bella was curled up against the arm rest of the couch and I made my way over to join her.

"So, what are planning for lunch?" I asked the group.

"Oh its already taken care of, Edward." My mom smiled at me and I shook my head.

"Mom, you are a GUEST! Why couldn't you just relax for one weekend?" I was smiling at her even though my words sounded a bit annoyed.

"Because it is my damn joy in life to take care of you, so accept it and stop bitching."

The room was silent for a second before erupting into contagious laughter. Mom didn't talk like that very often and it always caught us off guard when she did. Unexpected but hilarious.

I heard the doorbell chime and glanced at the clock on the wall. _Shit! _It was 12:30 already. I guess Bella and I were upstairs later than I thought. Besides, who knows how long I laid there thinking while she was in the shower.

The laughter quieted at the chiming sound and Bella moved to get up from the couch. "Stay here," I told her, kissing her cheek softly. I jogged to the door because I didn't want Charlie to wait too long. I needed him to be in as good of a mood as possible. I swung the door open with a bright smile and stuck out my hand. "Chief Swan! I am so glad you could come."

"Edward," he said with a nod, returning my handshake. "Call me Charlie, you know that." He walked into my house and stood awkwardly in the foyer. I knew how much he hated social situations.

"Sorry," I smiled sheepishly. "Well, I know my family is dying to meet you so right this way to the living room." I felt a little ridiculous with how I was talking to him, but the man still gave me a nervous twitch.

He followed me quietly and stopped in the door of the living room. Charlie looked slightly embarrassed when the room grew quiet and all eyes turned to him. "This is Charlie Swan, everyone. Charlie," I said pointing to my family members. "That is my mother, Esme, my father, Carlisle, my sister, Alice, and her husband, Jasper."

Jasper just gave him a nod while everyone else talked at once. "It is so nice to meet you," came from both my parents as they grinned, and Alice just shouted "Hi, Charlie!" Bella got off the couch and came to offer some much needed support to her father. If anyone could give him a shred of comfort it was Bella.

"Hey, Dad. Thanks for coming." Bella smiled warmly at Charlie and he blushed a little. It was a weird thing to see on a man that size.

He hugged Bella back and gave a small wave to the room. I couldn't blame him for being overwhelmed. I loved my family but they could be a lot to take in.

After a few minutes of awkward conversation we all sat down in the living room with paper plates and dug in to the sandwiches my mother had thrown together. As we started eating, my father got the conversation flowing by talking to Charlie about the one thing he was comfortable with; his job.

Charlie was sharing some funny stories of stupid criminals as we finished our lunch. "The perp just couldn't understand how he had been caught. I wonder how people that stupid can make it this far in life." He was shaking his head with bewilderment and my family laughed.

"I'm going to clean everything up really quick if you all want to go out to the patio. It is really rare that I get to enjoy that thing more than one day in a row. I'll be out in a second." I started gathering plates and cups as the family moved outside and continued their conversations. I heard Charlie's gruff laughter and I couldn't help but smile that this weekend how gone so perfectly. I just needed to get him alone now….but how?

As I cleaned the kitchen up, I thought about what I wanted to say to him. I thought about how exactly I wanted to ask him this hugely important question. I was drying off the counter when God helped me out a little bit.

The noise of footsteps on the hardwood got closer. "I'll be out in just a second," I called.

"I just wanted to have a word with you, Edward."

I turned quickly, leaving the towel on the counter, to see Charlie in front of me, hands in his pockets. I nervously mimicked his position and said, "Good, I needed to talk to you too." I tried to smile but it felt off as my stomach rolled in anticipation.

"Listen, Edward. I just…well, I wanted to say thank you. I don't think I have ever seen Bella this happy, ever. I have to assume it is because of you. Your family has been very nice. They seem to like her."

A genuine smile crept onto my face and I relaxed. "Yes, they do love her, and so do I sir. Thank you for the compliment, it means a lot coming from you." I was amazed at how open he was being with me. But as that thought crossed my mind, I watched him become more closed off and he looked away from me.

"I know you do. Not a problem. What did you wanna talk to me about?" Now, Charlie looked nervous as shit. Did he know what I was going to ask?

I walked across the kitchen to stand in front of him and look him in the eye as I asked him permission. "Charlie, I love your daughter more than I thought was possible. I want to give her the world. I would like to ask for your permission to marry your daughter." I stood, hoping for a calm reaction. Charlie's eyes bugged out of his head as my words soaked in. So maybe he didn't see it coming.

"I, uh…well. This is quite a surprise. I knew this would come someday. Not this soon though." His hand came up to his forehead and Charlie rubbed his skin, hard. "I mean, if she says yes, she knows what she's doing. Who am I to stop her?"

I was grinning like the Cheshire cat and I hugged Charlie. His responsive movement was awkward. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate you taking this so well. I know she is your world. She's mine too." I clapped him on the back and he just nodded. "Let's go join everyone."

I felt on top of the world. That went well, beyond great. I expected some kind of resistance, had a list of reasons planned out and was ready to explain myself. I was so happy that wasn't necessary and he was so willing to let me be with his daughter.

The stunned expression never quite left Charlie's face and when we rejoined the group, Bella looked at her dad curiously.

"Dad? Everything alright?" Her eyes looked at me with question and I just smiled at her.

After a moment, Charlie shook his head, as if to clear it of a fog. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm going to head out Bells."

"Are you sure?" Bella looked worried and it was all I could do not to laugh. I turned toward the trees so no one noticed the look on my face.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, Dad." I turned back around to see them hugging.

Charlie nodded his head to everyone. "Nice meeting all of you. I'll, um…see you later, Edward." He stood uncomfortably for a second, listening to everyone say goodbye, and then jetted for the front door. Bella turned on me, a million questions in her eyes.

"What was that about, Edward? He disappeared, looking for you, and then looks as if he's seen a ghost and bolts. What did you say to him?" She wasn't mad exactly, just annoyed. I don't think Bella likes being out of the loop. Too damn bad, this wasn't her business just yet.

I held up my hands defensively and took a step back, laughing at her. "Nothing I swear. He just came and said thank you to me for not being a genuine jackass." My smile was huge, even as she swatted my hands down.

"I don't believe you," Bella huffed. Her arms folded, her head turned away from me, and I wasn't sure I had ever seen her act like this. It was cute though.

"That was all he said. Maybe he remembered he left the iron on," I offered. She laughed out loud at that and turned to look at me again.

"Yeah, yeah," she said dismissively. "I'll find out eventually, you know I will."

I simply nodded with a grin and said, "Eventually."

"Ugh! SO, Alice, tell me more about your job!" She walked off towards my sister, asking to be occupied for hours. I looked to my parents, who were stifling their laughter. I was sure my dad knew what I asked Charlie, especially after the conversation my father and I had before dinner last night. I sat with my family and talked to them for the rest of the day. We ordered pizza, watched movies, and just relaxed. It was so nice having them around.

They left on Sunday, bright and early to make it to the airport on time. I was sad they had to leave so soon but it was better than nothing. Bella had gotten on with them wonderfully and they adored her like I did. Bella went back to Charlie's house that night too, and for the first time in a while, I was alone.

I got giddy all over again, thinking about Charlie saying yes to my request and wondering how Bella would react. I needed to go ring shopping, soon. I didn't want to waste any time getting my ring on her slender finger. My brain was already busy, going a hundred miles an hour, planning how, when, where, what to say, and finding her perfect ring.

Bella would start job hunting tomorrow in Port Angeles and Seattle, giving me lots of extra time. I would be making my ideas come to life during that time. That way, everything would be perfect for her. I needed to start with the ring, because if I didn't have that, I had nothing.

Two days later, Bella was on an overnight trip to Seattle because she had some interviews and I was right where I needed to be. I searched Port Angeles all day, looking for something to shout at me. I knew that when I found the right ring, it would be obvious. What I didn't know was how exhausting it would be looking for it. How do girls shop all day? By the time I walked into the last jewelry store, my feet were aching and I was grumpier than hell. It was pathetic.

I had been talking to snobs all day at higher end stores, and I had about had it. If one more person tried to tell me what the girl I love would like, and told me I was wrong, my fist was going to end up down their throat, and I'm not a violent guy either.

I trudged in to this older store that said _Morrison's Fine Jewelry_ on the outside for my last stop. It looked like it had been around for a few years and was probably family owned, I loved it. The place was completely different from anywhere else I had been. I started looking through the cases, seeing lots of shiny things, but nothing was catching my eye. My hope had dwindled after searching all day and I was about ready to just go home and maybe shop online.

"Hello, how can I help you this evening?" came a pleasant voice from behind me. I was startled because I had no idea where the hell she had appeared from.

I spun around quickly and smiled slightly at the middle-aged woman. She seemed kind, just by the look on her face, and I hoped she wasn't going to be like the rude people from earlier today. "Hi. I am looking for an engagement ring. I want something not too flashy and something with maybe a vintage feel to it."

I waited, expecting to hear her spout off what was in style right now and that I would be better off with her choice, but she simply smiled and said, "I think I have something that might be what you are looking for." _Thank you, God. _They really were different here.

She led me to a case near the back of the store that I hadn't looked in yet. Her keys rattled as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. I watched where her hand went, skeptical still about what she might pick up. The woman's fingers wrapped gently around the velvet covered stand and brought out the ring too quick for me to inspect it. As she set it on the glass in front of me, I felt my breath catch and my eyes widen.

This, beautifully perfect ring, was exactly what I had imagined. The band was white gold and woven all the way around. There was a single round diamond on the top that was raised off of the band. The prongs holding it up had a single diamond on each of them and there were small round diamonds to each side of the larger one. It was delicate and beautiful, and completely unlike anything else I had seen today. I had to have it.

I looked quickly up at the saleswoman and beamed. "It's perfect! I have been looking all day. Apparently I should have come here first!"

She smiled back at me brightly. "Wonderful! I love helping others find that right gift for someone."

"Well thank you! You have brightened my mood considerably. I'll take it. How much?"

"This is a one of a kind. The price is a little up there because of the quality of the diamonds. It's $3,500." The look on her face was apprehensive and I couldn't help but smile a little wider. I made more money from writing than I knew what to do with; this was the perfect way to spend it.

"That's just fine. I can pay you in full right now!" I pulled out my wallet and handed her my card. Her eyes gave away her surprise but she acted like she saw this sort of thing done all of the time.

"No problem, sir. Did you want to take it with you today or did you want it sized?"

"Today. I have a feeling it won't need to be sized."

"Alright. I'll just run the payment and package it for you," she said.

I looked around the store as she worked quietly behind me, walking and taking in all of the beautiful creations around me. I was sure Bella would like most of the things in here. I would have to bring her back.

I turned just in time to see the woman close the bag. I walked back over to where she was and held out my hand. "Thank you so much, Ms….?"

"Mrs. Morrison," she informed me.

I smiled, "Thank you Mrs. Morrison. I appreciate your help. I think she will love it!"

"It was my pleasure."

I gave her a small wave as I walked out the door. My face was bright with happiness as I walked to my car and made the trip home. I was so excited that I could barely contain it. I wasn't sure yet exactly when I would make my move, but I wouldn't be able to wait long. The anticipation was almost more than I could handle.

_**She's got whatever it is  
It blows me away  
She's everything I wanted to say to a woman  
but couldn't find the words to say  
She's got whatever it is  
I don't know what to do  
Because every time I try and tell her how I feel  
it comes out "I love you"  
You got whatever it is**_

* * *

Yay!!!! I am super excited about all of this!!! I hope you guys are too. Next chapter will be the last one, sad day. I hope that you have had fun on this journey!

Songs for this chapter are "Made For You" by OneRepublic and "Whatever It Is" by Zac Brown Band.

This is the link for her ring: http://www(dot)antiquejewelrymall(dot)


	16. Journey

_**And at the end of the day**_

_**When you're lonely**_

_**After begging to be left alone**_

_**You can look at this world as your kingdom**_

_**And if you want, **_

_**You can make me your home**_

_**Sing me a love song**_

_**I'm your man**_

_**I will always love you**_

_**The best I can**_

_**Hold me close**_

_**Don't let me go**_

_**I will always love you the most**_

It had been two months since I bought that ring, the perfect ring, and it was eating a proverbial hole in my pocket. I had Charlie's blessing and I was more than sure about what I wanted to do. I just had to make sure it was the right time. I had to plan it all out. You know, over think everything 'cause that's my style. I think I just about had everything in place now though.

Charlie was being a little stiffer than normal around me, which I hadn't thought possible. I understood but really hoped he planned on relaxing because I wasn't going anywhere.

Bella had found a job in Seattle with a small publishing company and had been working there for a little over a month. She adored her job and it was wonderful to see her so happy. Her commute was killer everyday though and I wished she had been able to find something in Port Angeles. But really, these were hard times and she had found a job. Who was I to complain if she was happy?

It was Friday and that meant we had tonight and two whole days for just us before she had to worry about work again. I planned on making my move this weekend. Everything was quiet and perfect since her coming back. We were better than ever and I knew that she was ready. The nerves were still eating me though.

I was sitting in my living room, chewing my nails out of habit, and waiting for Bella to get here. It should be any minute now. I was waiting to pop my question until tomorrow night, but I wasn't sure I would be able to make it that long. I was dying to ask, give her the ring, to see what she thought. But at the same time, I wanted to hide it away and keep the secret from the world.

I sighed loudly and threw my head back on the couch. "Snap out of it," I told myself.

Just then, the lock turned and Bella walked through my door. She was beautiful as always, but her eyes gave away her exhaustion. The driving and late hours were wearing her out, I knew, but she didn't want to admit it. Not to me, not even to herself. She was a tough girl, but she pushed it too much sometimes.

I shook my head to myself before getting up to greet her. Bella dropped her bag and slipped her shoes off by the door before smiling up at me wearily. "Hey," she said.

"Hello," I greeted, wearing the biggest smile I could and wrapping her in my arms. "Did you eat on the way home?"

Bella nodded against my chest and inhaled deeply. "Yeah I was starving, sorry."

I chuckled lightly. "Sorry? You always do that on Fridays. I was just making sure I didn't need to go make you something."

"It is Friday, huh?" she sighed. "That means I don't have to drive until Monday." I could hear the smile in her voice as she paused. Bella looked up at me quickly with a genuine smile, "Success!"

I just smiled back. "Come on," I said, pulling her to the living room by her hand. I sat her down on the couch before turning on the new Trent Dabbs CD in the background. I walked to stand behind the couch, behind where she was sitting. Bending over, I trailed kisses up her neck, her head tilting to the side.

"I love you," I whispered. I could see her eyes close and she smiled.

"Love you, too." Bella's voice was barely audible.

My hands drifted to her shoulder and I began lightly rubbing, trying to soother her. A low moan sounded from her throat and her head dropped back. "That feels amazing," she praised.

I smiled to myself and continued rubbing. After a few minutes of comfortable silence and me massaging her shoulders, I spoke softly, so as not to startle her. "Bella?" I asked.

There was no response. I thought maybe she hadn't heard me so I spoke a little louder. "Bella?" Still nothing. I studied her form a little more closely and realized she had become one with the couch, completely asleep. I chuckled quietly and shook my head.

I walked back around the couch and gently picked Bella up, one arm under her legs and the other around her back, her head resting on my shoulder. "Come on, baby. Let's go to bed," I whispered as she stirred, waking slightly. Bella nuzzled into my neck as I walked us up the stairs to my room. She looked just like an angel when she was sleeping. My angel.

I removed her business attire to the best of my abilities before bring the covers up around her shoulders. I went into my closet to discard my clothes. I slipped on some pajama pants and got into bed behind Bella, holding her close to my body. With one last kiss to the back of her neck I drifted off, happy to have my baby home and dreaming about tomorrow, what was sure to be the best day of my life.

*******

I awoke the next morning to an empty bed and the smell of bacon. _Why is she up cooking? It's her damn day off._ I sighed and rolled out of bed to brush my teeth. She can't ever just rest, ever. I was supposed to be doing this for her today of all days. So much for that.

I trotted down my stairs and into the kitchen just in time to see Bella setting our plates on the island, leaving me with nothing to do but eat. She smiled brightly when she saw me come through the door way. "Good morning! I made breakfast."

"I see that," I said, returning her smile. I walked over to hug her tightly and give her a good morning kiss. "Morning. Thanks for breakfast," I told her in between pecks. The kiss was supposed to be short. I am guessing our lack of physical activity over the past week was to blame for it being a little more. I couldn't pull myself away though and I found my arms pulling her as close as she could get. I heard a clanging sound somewhere off in the background as Bella's arms circled my neck firmly and my tongue swept across her bottom lip, teasing her. Bella moaned into my mouth and that was my unfortunate signal to pull away.

I kissed her on her forehead one last time before untangling myself and shaking my head at the pout she was now wearing. As I turned to walk to my seat I realized the clanging was her dropping the spatula on the floor. I felt myself smirk, picking it up and putting it in the sink. "Breakfast will be cold and you worked so hard." I patted the stool next to me when I finally sat, "Come sit down, baby."

Bella sighed and shuffled her feet over to the stool, head hung low. "Stop moping, we have time for that later," I winked as she sat and a small smile graced her features. I dug in, shoveling eggs in my mouth. I was really hungry, which means my manners fly right out the window.

"I looked at Bella briefly between bites and she was staring at me with an amused expression. I gave her a ridiculous smile and said, "What?"

She playfully pushed my shoulder and I had to fight to stay on my stool because she caught me off guard. Laughter rang through the kitchen as she turned back to her food. "Slob."

"Yeah but you love me," I said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She rubbed the skin of her face in mock disgust and tried to act like she wasn't still laughing at me.

"How was your week at work? Anything good come across your desk?"

"Yes!" Bella said excitedly. "There was something I started on Wednesday and, wow, I can't even believe I haven't told you about it yet! It was phenomenal. It's some new writer but she's got real promise; fantastic character development and plot line. I couldn't put it down…"

I watched Bella talk animatedly about the novel, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and I kind of just zoned out.

I thought about how I would get to see this for everyday of forever and I found myself smiling back at her words. Though at this point, I wasn't sure what she was saying. I just liked watching how passionate she was about her work because it made me immensely happy to see her this elated.

I came back to what she was saying, pretending like I had never left off and feeling slightly bad about not hearing her. "Anyway, I can't wait to show it to Emily. I'll be done with it Monday and I just know it's going to blow her away when I hand it over. Then I can get this new girl published," Bella was beaming as she turned back to her breakfast.

"That's really great, baby! Sounds like you found a winner. Makes all the crappy ones worth it huh?" I teased.

"Most definitely," she replied around her mouth full of bacon.

"Nice," I joked. "I love seeing half chewed food. Makes me warm and fuzzy inside." I tried my best to act like I gave a shit but my mouth was curling to spite me. Bella glared at me and swallowed.

"Look who's talking! At least all of my food is in my mouth!" Her smile was brilliant and infectious.

"Oh yeah?" I asked and Bella nodded at me, laughing. I slyly grabbed some of the scrambled eggs from my plate while her eyes were focused on my face. "How do you like that?" I yelled, throwing the eggs at her.

She screeched and tried to defend herself with her hands. You know the weak way women put up their hands in defense like it's actually going to do something? Just like that. "Edward Cullen," she said in a shocked voice. "I can't believe you!" Bella's voice got louder as she spoke and she was trying to distract me from what she was grabbing with her own hand. "How dare you! Really, I'm appalled."

I acted like I didn't see what was coming as she drew her arm back to release her eggs in my face. I caught her arm mid-throw, and before she even let go of the stuff, and turned her around quickly in her stool, pinning her arms under mine.

"Shit! How the hell did that happen?" She was annoyed at it was so adorable.

"Nice try," I whispered, my lips at her ear, my stomach pressed to her back. "I'm just faster than you." I kissed her cheek and let go quickly to grab my glass of water. Bella spun around with her hand cocked back aiming like she was going to try and throw the egg again. Her arm froze and her eyes widened when she noticed what I was holding.

"Don't even think about it mister!" Bella tried to threaten me and all I could do was laugh at her.

"Or what? The big bad Bella is gonna get me?" I was pushing her buttons so hard and loving every second.

Fire flared in her eyes at my words and for a half a second I was worried. But I decided that was ridiculous because clearly I could take her. I was faster and stronger. So there was no reason to be scared, except I really didn't like the look in her eyes, or the way she was taking baby steps towards me.

One second I was contemplating what level of dangerous Bella actually presented and the next I was throwing water her as egg plastered me in the face. But she didn't stop there, oh no. Next came her orange juice. Yes, I love being sticky…..

Then, while I blinked my eyes through the juice, trying to regain focus on what Bella was doing, something soft collapsed against my face. Muffin. Bella rubbed it in nice and hard before pulling her hand back. When I scarped that shit off a little and actually could see her, there was a smirk on her face, her shirt was soaked and her hands were on her hips.

"Who's the weakling now, Edward?" Her eyes were still blazing and I just held my hands up in surrender.

"Clearly, I misjudged you. My bad. "I walked to the trash can to throw away the muffin that had stuck to me.

"Damn straight," she laughed.

"I shouldn't have touched my water, it gave you bad ideas. Look at the floor!" I was laughing hard now and shaking my head at our mess. Bella was looking at it now, instead of me and I ran over and grabbed her, nuzzling my face into her hair.

"EWWWWWWWW! Edward," she screamed. I was in hysterics as she fought against my arms. When I could finally breathe through my laughter I spoke in a serious tone. "You're still the weakling, Bella. Lucky shots don't count." Bella slapped at my arms.

"Let's go take a shower. I feel disgusting." I dragged her up the stairs, not letting her escape.

"Thanks to you, I do too." She was still trying to act mad but I didn't believe it for a second. Her lips gave her way, tipped up on the sides like they were.

"Yeah, yeah," I said as we entered the bathroom.

We cleaned up for the next forty five minutes, trading orgasms in the shower and washing each other. I left her upstairs to get ready for the day and cleaned the kitchen. "Shit," I muttered when I looked at the atrocity that was my tile floor. The juice was drying and sticky as hell. I pulled out the mop and got to work.

Just as I was finishing up, Bella came into the room. "Well, well. You may be a cocky bastard but you clean good," she said as she walked up to me. "I think I'll keep you around," Bella giggled, kissing me softly. "I'm off. Gotta go spend some quality time with my dad. I'll be back for dinner. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"Nope," I told her. "I have everything I need for tonight," and that was all she needed to know. I had big plans for this evening and I desperately needed to get started. "Go have fun with your dad and I'll see you tonight. Love you," I told her with another kiss.

"You too, baby." She left the kitchen and I heard her grab her purse and keys. The front door opened and closed but I continued working on clean-up, waiting for the tell-tale sign that she was gone. A roar sounded from outside and then faded into the distance, signaling I was in the clear.

I made a mad dash up the stairs to my room and grabbed my supplies from under my bed. Childish, I know, but I didn't really have anywhere else to hide the stuff where I KNEW she wasn't going to find it.

I worked diligently, setting up the house according to plan, making every detail perfect. I had been plotting for weeks about how this was going to go and I didn't want anything messed up.

At 15 'til 6 my phone buzzed on the kitchen counter, alerting me of a test message. Bella was on her way back from Charlie's. I finished my wine, soothing the nerves, and I went upstairs to change. Slacks and a button down seemed like appropriate attire to propose in. I slipped on my shoes and headed downstairs. Turning the porch light off, I lit the candles on the stairs outside and the ones that surrounded my home. The familiar bellow of her truck was becoming louder and I made my way out to the patio, awaiting the woman of my dreams.

******

**BPOV**

I had a good day with Charlie, always do, but I was really ready to be back home with Edward. I didn't really see anyone during the week because of my crazy work schedule and so I had to split time while I was off on the weekends. All I really wanted to do though was spend the days and nights holed up with Edward, in his bed. So, as good of a time as me and my dad had watching ESPN for 6 hours, I couldn't wait to see my Edward.

I was heading down the long driveway up to Edward's house when I noticed it was strangely dark. His car was still her so he didn't go anywhere, and he knew I was on my way back. Maybe he fell asleep. As I got closer, I noticed there were candles lit on the stairs leading up to the front door. "What the…" I muttered to myself.

Slipping out of my car, I noisily slammed the door behind me and walked a little faster than normal up to the stairs. I was curious as all get out to know what was going on. The candle lined the sides of the stairs and there was a red ribbon running up the middle of them. I noticed a small piece of folded paper sitting on the bottom step so I bent over to retrieve it. Opening it, I saw Edward's handwriting and my breath caught in my throat.

_This is the beginning of your journey tonight Bella. Follow the ribbon through the house and read the notes._

_These steps are where you came back to me. I am reminded, every time I walk them, that though you were scared, I was enough and you came back._

I was feeling overwhelmed and excited. I didn't know what Edward was planning or doing, but I was sure I was going to like it. I followed the ribbon as instructed, up the steps and through the front door. Candles lit the surfaces around me and his home had a soft glow from them. It was beautiful. There was a note on the small table just inside the foyer. I picked it up and read.

_Leave your keys and purse here. I promise you won't need them. Keep going and hurry, I'm waiting for you. _

My smile grew bigger and tossed down my stuff, turning to see where the ribbon would take me. The trail led up the stairs and I took them two at a time as I rushed to see Edward. I noticed there was ribbon lining each side of the stair case instead of straight down the middle like it was outside. Strange but I didn't give it a second thought as I raced forward.

The door to his room was shut and I took a deep breath, ready to see him on the other side. Slowly, the door creaked open and the ribbon ran straight up to his bed. But the bed was empty and I felt my heart drop a little. Where the hell was he? I just wanted to see him.

Another note waited for me on the bed and I went to read it, noticing the soft music coming from the record player in the corner.

_This is where we came together again and this is where I want to stay with you, always. Put on something that makes you feel how beautiful I know you are and then follow the ribbon back down the stairs. Do you recognize the music?_

I did. It was the same thing he played for me that night when everything fell back into place after my… episode.

_**We're still here  
What a beautiful mess, this is  
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"**___

I smiled to myself and went to the closet to pick something out. He said follow the ribbon back down the stairs. Explains why it lined both sides of the stairs and I felt slightly stupid for not realizing that fact before now.

I decided on a short black dress that I brought over here in case Edward and I decided to go to dinner some night. Thank God for being prepared. I loved the way this dress fit me, hugging my hips and flaring slightly at the bottom where it hit my knees. The neck was a V and showed a little cleavage. I felt beautiful, and sexy. I skipped the shoes because life was better without them. I could always come get them if we were going somewhere.

I trailed back down the stairs as instructed, looking around to see if I could find Edward. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw the ribbon run further into the house, towards the living room. Passing the kitchen on my way there, I smelled food and my stomach growled. I guess excitement doesn't overrule hunger.

The path wound around the couch and to the fireplace. On top of the mantle was my next piece of the puzzle.

_The first place we said I love you. The first place we made love. I think about that every day and smile because that memory means the world to me. Just like you. I hope you think about it too._

I was surely smiling now, making my way to my next destination, the kitchen. There on the island, the place we always sat and ate, was another tented paper.

_I stood at this counter, wracking my brain for all the right things to do and say for our first day. I must have figured it out because you're still here. This is your last stop before you get to me. You've made it back to the beginning of us. Now come see me!_

My cheeks hurt I was smiling so hard as I quickly followed the ribbon, almost running. It lead me straight to the backdoor. I threw it open and stood, stuck to my place. The Christmas lights were on and the table was set for two, just like our first night together. Edward stood to the side of the table, beaming at me with his hands in his pocket.

"Hey, you," he said softly. He picked a remote up off the table and I heard the music start.

"Edward, it's beautiful. All of it, so thoughtful. Thank you so much," I walked slowly to him. His lips brushed mine, feather light and he held my hands down by our sides.

"I'm glad you like it." He kissed my forehead and stepped back from me a bit. He looked nervous as hell all of the sudden underneath the smile. Was he going to do what I thought?

"Bella," he started, a huge smile on his face. I noticed his hands shook slightly as he continued, and yes, he is really going to do it. "Tonight, I reminded you about the journey you and I have taken to get to this point. I love you so much, more than words can tell you, and I know you feel the same. I see it every time I look in your eyes. I want to ask you now, if you will start another journey with me tonight." My heart was racing as he spoke and I knew what was coming. Tears pricked at the rims of my eyes and I watched him pull something out of his pocket. A small, black box. _Oh my God._ My breathing picked up to a rapid, waiting for his next words.

Edward dropped to one knee in front of me and took a deep breath. "I want you to be in my bed, every night and every morning. I want you to come home to me after work each night so that you can tell me about your day and I can cook you dinner. I want to spend the rest of forever with you. Bella, will you marry me?"

By now I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, or, the biggest smile ever. "Yes, Edward. I will most certainly marry you." My voice was barely above a whisper but with the lack of oxygen I was experiencing, I couldn't manage anything louder.

He breathed a sigh of relief and stood up, smiling harder than I'd ever seen. Edward's fingers carefully slipped the ring out of the box and I held my hand out for him. The cool metal encompassed my ring finger and I gazed down at it.

"Do you like it?" he asked nervously.

"It's perfect! I don't think I could have done better myself!" The ring was beautiful, and he knew me so well.

Edward kissed me and wrapped me tight in his arms. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw and then he buried his face into the crook of my neck. "I'm so glad to hear that. I love you, so very much, Bella."

My fingers were playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I love you, too, Edward."

He pulled back to look at me, eyes sparkling, and I realized I had never felt better in my life.

**************

**EPOV**

She said yes. She fucking said yes! I was the happiest guy that ever lived right about now and I wanted to scream, let the world know that I, Edward Cullen, was going to marry Bella Swan. I thought I might burst from how full of emotion I was.

I was standing face-to-face with Bella, smiling at her. God she was so beautiful. She was also, all mine.

"Well, as you can see I have dinner if you're interested. But I thought maybe we could do a little dancing first. What do you say?"

"I say, you are the most perfect man, and I am the luckiest girl. Let's dance." Bella seemed as happy as I was, ecstatic even, and that fact made my heart soar just a little higher.

"Let's," I agreed, taking her waist in one hand and her small fingers in the other. I could feel her ring resting there and that gave me infinite joy. How sappy was I?

"So, did you recognize the song in the room?" I was curious to see what she thought of all my scheming and so I prodded.

"Of course," she grinned up at me. "How could I possibly forget that night?" She kissed me chastely on the lips and we continued to sway.

"What about this one?" I asked, nodding my head to the speaker.

"This one, too. The song I chose after dinner one night. The song you said 'I love you' during, for the very first time." I kissed her this time. Tender kisses to her lips and one on her cheek before she rested her head against my chest. We swayed a little while longer and I hummed to the music.

_**and you say, so you say  
it's a brilliance meant to fade  
love is wild like a fire  
burning underneath the rain  
but this is not the same...**_

As the song ended I gave one last kiss to the top of her head. "Shall we eat?"

"Yes, I'm starved! What did you make?" she asked while I pulled out her chair.

"You have to ask? This is a replay of our first date and all, so I made what I make best."

"Chicken parmigana," we said at the same time before laughing together.

Bella and I talked and laughed all the way through dinner and, just like the first time, we were both too full for an ice cream desert. I did, however, want to have Bella as my desert. It was certainly to move somewhere…more comfortable.

I knew the mischievous glint that was flashing in my eyes right about now and when Bella smiled slightly, I knew she saw it. I was so happy she had said yes, and I loved her so much. Time to show her.

I got up and walked to her side of the table, holding out my hand for. "My dear fiancé," I said with a cheesy grin. "Will you please," I kissed her hand, "follow me inside so that we may complete the evening?"

Bella giggled at my antics and nodded before scooting her chair back and standing to walk with me. I tugged her hand slightly, pulling her behind me through the back door. Shutting the door, I let6 go of her for a second to lock up, deciding the mess outside could wait until tomorrow. Bella stood there waiting for me and I scooped her up into my arms, planting small kisses on her mouth, cheeks, ears, neck, and anywhere they could really reach.

I was blindly walked to the stairs and Bella's laughter was echoing in my home. Pausing at the front door, I locked it too and then moved up the stairs, still holding Bella securely in my arms.

Moving into my room, our mouths were melded together. I kicked the door shut behind me and set her on her feet next to my bed. No, not my bed, but our bed. I smiled on the inside at that thought.

My hands rested on her hips and my forehead against hers. I looked deep into her eyes, taking in all of the warmth and love I found in them. "Bella, I love you so very much," I whispered. "I can't wait to show the world you are my wife."

Bella smiled softly at me as I took her left hand and brought her new ring to my lips. "I love you too, Edward."

I closed my eyes in contentment for a moment, nodding against her. "I know."

My lips found hers again in lightly caressing movements. I took her bottom lip gently between my own lips and sucked before flitting my tongue across it. Her fingers were holding the sides of my face. My hands moved from her hips to her lower back and I pressed her tightly against me. A quiet moan escaped her lips and set my blood on fire. It coursed through me, taking over my head and heart. Bella had complete and utter control over me.

My tongue was massaging hers now, our breaths coming in quick pants of anticipation when we could get them. I reached for the zipper on the back of her dress and dragged it down. Bella stepped back from me just a bit and my hands went to her shoulders, slowly bringing the fabric down her arms and exposing her beautiful breasts and body to me, inch by inch. The black fabric hit the floor, pooling at her feet and she smiled at me. I grabbed her hips once more, bringing her body back to mine.

My lips landed on her neck, sucking slightly and licking the skin there. Bella's small hands began undoing the buttons on my shirt. Her fingers slid beneath the fabric at my shoulders and I let go of her for a second as my shirt fell off my body. I cradled her head, one hand at the back in her hair and one hand on her neck. Bella started on my pants, undoing my belt and then the button and zipper. I traced her ear gently with my nose before darting my tongue out to follow the same path. My pants joined our other clothing on the hardwood and I bit her ear lobe gently. I stepped out of them and pulled Bella flush against me, reveling in the way my skin felt against hers.

My hand drifted down her neck as I kissed her once more and it landed on the small of her back. Bella melted in my arms, making small noises that drove me wild. I picked her up, turned, and laid her gently on the mattress. I released her body for a moment and stared down at her.

"Scoot back," I said quietly. She moved and settled back down against the comforter.

I crawled slowly over her, my hands on either side of her shoulders and my legs straddling hers. I touched my lips to hers once.

"You are so beautiful, sweetheart. So very beautiful." Bella brought my head down to hers and began teasing my lips with her tongue. I ran my hand down her side, brushing over her skin. I dipped a finger inside her panties and I felt her quick breath against my mouth. I smiled to myself and drew back from her. I pulled the fabric from her hips and discarded it without another thought. Her perfect body was stretched out before me and I felt myself tremble slightly. I couldn't contain how much I loved her, how she affected me. I slid my boxers down and climbed back onto the bed.

Bella parted her legs and I climbed between them. My fingers trailed up her leg before going over her side and settling on her breast. I moved my lips to her ear. "I want you, so badly." I kissed her ear and she shivered underneath me. My lips moved down the column of her neck, over her collarbone and landed where my hand was. I massaged her gently, licking and kissing her sweet skin.

She arched her back into me and her hands held the back of my head tightly to her. Bella's nipple was in my mouth and I circled it with my tongue and bit her gently. She sucked air in quickly and I smiled against her. I moved to her other breast and lavished it with the same attention.

I brought my hands under her lower back, holding Bella against my mouth and moved my lips down over her stomach. Moving back on the bed slightly, I brought my mouth to her slick folds and ran my tongue slowly along the slit. I parted her with my hand and began circling her clit with my tongue.

"Oh…fuck…" Bella whispered into the darkness. That was so damn sexy.

I pushed a finger inside of her slowly and she groaned. Pumping gently a few times, I then added another finger and continued working on her bundle. I sucked it into my mouth and moved my finger in and out of her quickly. Bella began moving her hips against my mouth and panting my name. I let my thumb take over the work of my mouth and kissed the insides of Bella's thighs. I gently bit her skin and then soothed it with my tongue. My fingers curled inside of her and she cried out.

"Oh God, Edward. I'm going to cum, oh…."

I moved my fingers with vigor and resumed licking her. Bella's legs twitched next to my head before her body froze under my touch. She came with a moan unlike anything I have ever heard and I instantly couldn't stand not being buried in her. I licked up most of the goodness she gave me and then got on my knees.

Bella's eyes met mine and she smiled gently. I leaned down over her and positioned myself at her entrance. I moved my hands underneath her shoulders to the back of her head, settling my weight on top of her. "You're my everything," I whispered.

As my lips met hers, I slid into her, inch by inch, until I was fully sheathed by her warmth. I paused there, kissing her slowly for a moment, enjoying how perfectly we fit together. Bella moved her hips slightly underneath and so I pulled out and pushed back in. I rested my forehead on hers as I moved in and out of her at a leisurely pace.

I wanted to take my time tonight. This was about enjoying each other's bodies and all of the feelings we couldn't put words to. We breathed heavily together and Bella ran her hands up and down my back. Her lips came up to meet mine as she wound her legs around my waste. Her hand found the side of my face, her thumb at my lips, and she laid her other arm across the back of my neck.

Bella's eyes were closed and she looked so happy. I kissed her cheeks and then her lips once. "Faster please, Edward," she requested quietly. I obliged, quickening the pace of my hips. Her body began to mimic my movements, meeting my hips each time, and she groaned.

"You feel so amazing, so damn good," I breathed.

Her answer was more moaning. Bella's noises spurred me on and my hips moved faster and faster. She was grinding her hips into me, getting friction where she needed it.

"Bella, I don't know how much longer I can last," I confessed.

"Let go then," she whispered. "A little harder, please."

I gripped Bella tighter to me, my head moving to the crook of her neck. My hips moved as fast as I could make them, slamming into Bella. I kissed her neck over and over and breathed her in. I brought a hand between us and pressed my thumb to her clit. She arched into me, throwing her head back. "Oh God, yes! I'm so close. Just a little more."

Bella panted in my ear and with a few more thrusts, I burst into her and her walls clamped around me. I shuddered against her and moved within her slowly, riding out the pleasure. Bella clung tightly to me, moaning loudly.

I felt so weak as I pulled back a little to look at her. "You're perfect. Do you know that?" I kissed her gently and she giggled against my lips.

"I love you, Edward. That was amazing. Thank you for this whole night." She was stroking my face and I turned my head to kiss her palm.

"Thank _you_," I told her.

Grudgingly, I pulled out of her. "Sit up a little." I pulled the covers down and she slid under them. I moved behind her, lying down so that every part of our bodies touched. I slid my hand under her pillow and wrapped my other arm around her waist. My lips brushed her shoulder a few times and then the back of her neck. Bella let out a contented sigh and she relaxed against me, sleep taking over her tired body.

I laid awake for a little while, thinking about how today could not have gone more perfectly. It had really been the best day of my life. I couldn't wait to call my family in the morning and share the wonderful news. I began thinking about how our life was going to be together. We could move her into my home. I could see her stuff now, clothes in the closet, and books on the shelves. I smiled to myself.

The light from the moon came in through my window and cast a beautiful glow on her skin as I watched her sleeping form. I began imagining what our children will look like, how Bella is going to look when she is pregnant, how we'll both look in 50 years. I knew that tonight was the beginning; the beginning of our journey, the beginning of our history together.

_**Don't move Baby Don't move  
Aw look at you  
I just want to take this in  
The moonlight dancing off your skin  
Our time Lets take our time  
I just want to look in your eyes  
and catch my breath  
Cause I just got a feeling**_

This could be one of those memories  
We want to hold on to, cling to,  
one we can't forget  
Baby, this could be our last first kiss  
The door to forever  
What if this was that moment  
That chance worth taking  
History in the making

_

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_

**Okay guys……I worked really fucking hard on this chapter, my longest one to date, around 6700 words. I really hope you liked it! This is the end, there will be no epi. These characters have said their peace and I am moving on. **

**Sorry for the delay…..My husband recently left for war so I was spending time with him and then wallowing. **

**Songs for this chapter are: "Harder Than Easy" by Jack Savoretti and "History In the Making" by Darius Rucker. There were reappearances by "A Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz and "Reaching" by Jason Reeves.**

**I have a teaser for my new story "A Dream Come to Life" posted under this so read that too real quick and let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

_It was raining, hard, and I was going door to door at an apartment complex. The rain was pelting me, dripping down my face and body, but I didn't feel it. I knew that it was early morning, maybe 2, but I was wide awake and frantically searching; searching for the brown-eyed girl of my dreams. In my mind, this girl's round face was staring at me, smiling, with the most amazing and tender look in her chocolate orbs. Her lips were pink and full and I longed to feel them against mine. _

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! I pounded on the next door. My heart was racing as I waited anxiously for the next disgruntled person to answer their door. _

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! I hit the door again with more force. Somewhere in my head I felt bad for waking these poor people up, but I had to find this girl. She was my life, my everything. It felt like I might collapse or crumble in on myself if I didn't find her. _

_A short, overweight, balding man opened the door. He looked livid at the disturbance my pounding had caused. I couldn't blame him but I didn't really care either. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled. "Its 2 in the morning! People are sleeping. _I _was sleeping."_

_His fists were clenched at his sides and he was turning redder with each word that passed his lips. _

"_I just need to know if you have seen this girl. I can't find her, I've looked everywhere." My voice was panicked and my eyes darted around for the elusive woman in my mind. "I really need to find her. Her name is…"_


End file.
